jacked17 Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 I'm driving to work today after a really tough weekend. I'm still hurting and missing my ex and trying to do NC but failing miserably. I did well and didnt talk to her on wednesday, thursday, friday and then on saturday I cracked. She had me blocked online and for some reason that really annoyed me so I called her and started getting angry at her. Eventually she just hung up on me. I took a deep breath and resumed NC for the rest of the weekend. It was tough but I was doing ok and then monday rolls around. Now this girl has told me to never call her again, she's told me to leave her alone and she's hurt me every way possible and treated me like i'm a piece of trash. She texts me and says something about my blog on myspace.com and that annoyed me that she's still looking at my stuff. So i call her and tell her my blog and my myspace account is designed for my friends for which she is not one of. She says to me ok and then says oh yeah I still want to go to your high school reunion on saturday. Saturday is my 5 year high school reunion and I had invited her like 2 weeks ago as a last ditch attempt to I dunno get her to hang out with me. She asks me to go the reunion and I had completely forgotten about it. She treated so bad this weekend and she comes out and asks me if that's still on. I call her and we talk about that and she goes over my myspace page and is going through all of my information. We start talking and of course that leads us to the subject of us. She starts saying about how she really likes the guy she's with and how she's thinking about being her girlfriend. I of course go nuts because she told me she didn't want a bf and she told me about how she's afraid of commitment. As we're talking she then says actually it's not a good idea if I went. I'd want to check it over with the new guy I'm with and I don't want to ruin what we have and all of this other BS. Why won't she just leave me alone. Why does she keep messing with me? Why would she want to go to my hs reunion if she has no intention of us getting back together and she wants to be with someone else. This girl is messing with my head so much..... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Then stop contacting her. And make your blog private. Link to post Share on other sites
Zetter Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 OK, do as I say, not as I do. Tell her to F&^%$ straight off, that you want a mature relationship, and to leave you alone if she isn't ready for that. It seems to me that she is undecided about what she wants. Her telling you about her possible BF is BS, and she is doing it for the ol' head games effect. Just like when people tease their little brothers, you wouldn't do it if it didn't elicit a response. She is seeking your attention. Give her a little and she is satisfied. Give her too much or not enough and she isn't. Be the pursuer and she runs. Walk away and you don't know what you'll get, but be prepared for it to be over or to have her back on your terms. Now if I could only listen to myself... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacked17 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 I just don't understand because she makes it pefectly clear she likes this other guy yet she asks me to go and once my hopes get up she brings them crashing down by saying well I only want to go because you said you needed me there because I was such a huge part of your life. She was like well don't try to hold my hand or kiss me or anything. Then she was like well I don't think I'm going to go because I don't want to ruin my new relationship. She obviously knew my hopes would go up if she asked me. It's like she gets off on hurting me. I mean I basically had a huge emotional breakdown on the phone with her the other day. I mean I swear the minute she always thinks I'm getting over her she tries to do something to get me at least thinking of her. She even made a snide comment about me talking to someone she didn't like when we were together. I just can't understand why she springs that on me and then takes it back in the same day after treating me like I was nothing all weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
lamento Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Zetter is right - let yourself be in a position where she will take advantage of you and you will go under.. she's imature and sadistic and won't realise what she's doing untill it's way to late if at all - save yourself the pain and anguish and go undercover - she will be a 100% more interested in you if there is some mystery - you have to learn to switch the feeling - use the energy you have that you think is love for her and use it on yourself - don't let her squander all that hard earned emotion Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 Can you see the touchline? Kick her over it! She is playing with you like a cat and a ball of string. Ignore her and get on with your life!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacked17 Posted November 28, 2005 Author Share Posted November 28, 2005 I didn't give too much background in my thread because I already have here. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t75111/ Check it out to see everything that's gone on because I really do look forward to hearing everyone tell me to stop talking to her. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 I don't need to read your background to tell you not to talk to her. I know enough from what you've already said. Link to post Share on other sites
Jellostick Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 because I really do look forward to hearing everyone tell me to stop talking to her. Is that supposed to be sarcasm 'cause if it is, I don't think it necessary at all. They're telling you to stop talking to her 'cause you NEED TO STOP TALKING TO HER! She's really not doing anything to you, you doing this to yourself by keeping in contact w/ someone who isn't worth keeping in contact w/. You're just the fuel for the fire and you just can't realize that yet. She has moved on so get over it already. Move on, go out w/ your friends, meet some other chicks who won't jerk you around and go have fun but you whining over this girl who sounds like a piece of crap just isn't doing you any good. And frankly, you keep starting these threads and they're all the same. I'm not sure if you're looking for someone to tell you something different but in every thread you start, you always get the same response which is to move on 'cause she's not worth your time. My suggestion is to stop being insane over this chick and wake the hell up already. No one is going to tell you what you want to hear which is why she's doing this and if you'll have a second chance w/ her. The answer to the first question is only she knows and the answer to the second question is NO. Seriously, dude, you need to give it up 'cause it's a lost cause. Life it too short to be hung over something not worth being hung up on. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacked17 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 I know I just don't understand why she tells me she wants to go to my high school reunion but then precedes to tell me all about the new guy she's with. Is she intentionally trying to hurt me? I feel like every time I get one percent better she does something to pull me back yet she doesn't want to be with me maybe she just likes to know she has control over me or something. Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I know I just don't understand why she tells me she wants to go to my high school reunion but then precedes to tell me all about the new guy she's with. Is she intentionally trying to hurt me? I feel like every time I get one percent better she does something to pull me back yet she doesn't want to be with me maybe she just likes to know she has control over me or something. I don't think she is purposely trying to hurt you, maybe subconciously though, my ex is the same, telling me about the guys she's been screwing since we split. I pretend I'm not bothered, but screw it, who wants someone like them in our lives now anyway? I've finally erased her from my life, do the same bud. Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Zetter is right - let yourself be in a position where she will take advantage of you and you will go under.. she's imature and sadistic and won't realise what she's doing untill it's way to late if at all - save yourself the pain and anguish and go undercover - she will be a 100% more interested in you if there is some mystery - you have to learn to switch the feeling - use the energy you have that you think is love for her and use it on yourself - don't let her squander all that hard earned emotion Even the mystery thing is no guarantee, I did it enough for my ex to be interested and ask me out, kiss me etc. then tell me she was still attracted to me but in no way did she love me anymore and then cut me off again... so save yourself the pain bruv. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I know I just don't understand why she tells me she wants to go to my high school reunion but then precedes to tell me all about the new guy she's with. Is she intentionally trying to hurt me? Why does it matter? Tell her she's not going with you. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 shes doing this to you because you are allowing her to. want to stop the maddness? cut the contact with her and cut it cold. cutting the contact with her cold means: no calls to her block her number so she cant call you no emails to her block her ims and block her emails make your blog private do not respond to any of her text messages and if somehow she passes all that and still asks to go to your reunion, tell her you already have a date and hang up. she wants you to be her doormat. do you really want to be her doormat? no!!!! you are the prize not a doormat. stop letting women walk all over you especially this one who has done nothing but hurt you. next her and find someone new who cant get enough of you. Link to post Share on other sites
sadfish Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 And who's to say you won't meet anyone or reconnect with someone at your reunion? Sounds like she's adamant about going still because she doesn't want to let you go either...she's curious about your past. At least that's how i see it. *shrugs* Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 And who's to say you won't meet anyone or reconnect with someone at your reunion? Sounds like she's adamant about going still because she doesn't want to let you go either...she's curious about your past. At least that's how i see it. *shrugs* She definitely aspires to play the role of the spoiler. He needs to go without that sad sack draping all over him Link to post Share on other sites
Resilient1 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 I totally understand what you are going through. It sucks and it is difficult to let go especially when she keeps calling you. She sounds like she knows she has you wrapped around her finger similar to my situation. I can just advise to do what's best for you. Like you said speaking with her or even going with her to your reunion is only a short term fix until the next time and believe me when I say it hurts more if you get some of her time only to have her reject you again.. You deserve to be treated better and if she cared she would let you go as well so you can heal.. Healing is what we need to do...Actions speak louder than words like you said..Good Luck.. I would like to hope that things happen for a reason, maybe you guys need this time to grow as individuals (it seems like she has a lot of growing up to do) or maybe the love of your life is waiting for you and is far better than this last one. This goes for the both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Your quick to say "Why is she doing this to me", when all I wanna know is "Why are you doing this to yourself"... Stop blaming her for things when you are in total control of the situation. You can choose who you keep in contact with. And what is this myspace thing everyone rants about? Ive heard nothing good about this and it seem to mind f*** everyone... keep away from it. Link to post Share on other sites
lamento Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Even the mystery thing is no guarantee, I did it enough for my ex to be interested and ask me out, kiss me etc. then tell me she was still attracted to me but in no way did she love me anymore and then cut me off again... so save yourself the pain bruv. ...true, but it's a positive start even if only a small one if you're planning on a second chance. the rest is up to you how long you want to keep playing mysterious before the novelty wears off or the pain of you ex's indifference cut's too deep. Usually patience wears thin.. it gets too hard - the idea is to play it slowly for it to pay off - we're only human and that in most cases is beyond tolerance when time passes so slowly... we usually only find out we were wasting our time when it's too late and we're busted. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 And what is this myspace thing everyone rants about? Ive heard nothing good about this and it seem to mind f*** everyone... keep away from it. Tell me about it... must be a Generation Y thing. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 I'd want to check it over with the new guy I'm with... Ouch! I can't believe she said that to you! Nothing like rubbing salt into your wound. She very inconsiderate...borderline narcicistic. (sp?) Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacked17 Posted November 30, 2005 Author Share Posted November 30, 2005 Yeah I couldn't believe she said that either but she's the type of person that if she gets annoyed about what someone says she trys to annoy them or hurt them. A couple of weeks ago I told her how I hung out with a girl who she hates and hated when we were together and it really made her angry so she came back with well the new guy that im dating and I hooked up last nite. I mean she just knows exactly what to say to push my buttons. If I tell her something she doesn't like she reacts like a huge baby and tries to hurt me. It's absolutely ridiculous and it's the more that I think about this stuff that I realize our relationship was doomed because of the mere fact that she can't treat things like an adult. Link to post Share on other sites
darhma Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 I know how much it hurts to have a person you love hurt you. However, there comes a time when YOU need to take responsibility for the situation. No one can hurt you if you dont give them the opportunity. Personally I would send her a 'kind" letter telling her you want to move on and please be the sweet person you remember her to be and no longer to contact you and please respect your wishes. Then block the wench from sending anymore emails. Dont go anywhere either she or her buddies hang out. Just start a new life...if you dont...you are the one who is responsible for you being hurt. I took my own advice several months ago. I must say I am feeling much better for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jacked17 Posted November 30, 2005 Author Share Posted November 30, 2005 She told me she would call me back on Monday and of course she didn't. She didn't call me yesterday but today sends me a text message that says so what's the deal for saturday. I love the fact that she seems to think she can talk to me whenever she feels like it. The only time she ever tries to talk to me is when she's at work. However I didn't return the text and I'm not going to. NC all the way! Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 So you have blocked her emails and phone number? If you havnt I think your NC all the way is going to be short lived. Link to post Share on other sites
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