Her parents have put their foot down :(

[David Gevert]

Here's the situation. I've been in a long-distance relationship with this girl, 17 years old, and it's been going very well, except that I'm an atheist and she's a methodist. Now, this isn't a problem between just us, but it is a problem with her parents. Her mom has said that I'm nice, I treat her well, and I obviously respect her and care for her, and I have told her straight out that I have no intention of pushing her daughter away from christianity. The odd thing is that her mother seems to always be going back and forth between liking me despite my atheism and absolutely hating me. Her dad just flat out does not like me.

 

The last time I visited her was a week ago. Her parents were very hospitable, and here's the thing: her mom actually was the one who convinced her dad that I could come over. This is how extreme the cycle gets; her mom will defend me and argue for my position, and then she'll turn around and decide that, once again, she doesn't like me.

 

Now, the situation has come to this: her parents came to see her (she was at university working on her summer research project, and she's been living in the dorm there for the last five weeks or so) and basically told her that she was not to see me any more, and that I shouldn't call her or talk to her in any way for a while. (Note this wording.)

 

I called her mother a little while after I heard asking for an explanation and trying to politely argue my case. This is when she reiterated that she thinks I'm a nice guy and everything, but she thinks her daughter is in a place where she just doesn't "need someone else in her life that the family doesn't like." However, she also said "I think you and Sarah should just cool down for a while." Again, note the wording.

 

I think this is a temporary arrangement, and hope so...what do you guys think? I kind of think that this is a test.

[I2YoungHe2Old]

Well here's a perspective for you. I'm 20 and my significant other is 30. My mother completely disaproves for reasons beyond my understanding. The obvious is the age difference but I think its more then that--she doesn't want to lose me, her only daughter, her only child still living at home, and she has this distrust of males in general (could be her past failed relationships talking). For whatever reason, I can't quite pin down, she outright objects.

 

The reason I'm repyling is because my mom is behaving like your girlfriend's mother. My mom is up one day, inviting my boyfriend to dinner and the like. Other days she has nothing nice to say about him whatsoever. Always she fusses about me spending time with him, talking to him on the phone, etc.

 

I can't really tell you what to do, I just thought maybe you'd feel consoled that someone else is having a similar problem. My mom knows my boyfriend very well, he was a family friend before we started dating. I think she knows deep down that he is not out to hurt me, just like you are not out to hurt your girlfriend or attempt to change her religious views. I just sucks when the parent changes how they act from day to day.