hotrod12345 Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Ok so i have been really jelous of my g/f's ex because he still has feelings for her but she doesnt have any feelings towards him and she has told me this soooooo many times because im so paranoid b/c of previous relationships. anyways I know her password for facebook, its like a myspace for college sort of, and i noticed she wrote him a message that said she is going to dream about him everyday this week(she told me she had a dream about me and her ex but it was very hard ot remember) and that when he takes his nap she hopes that he dreams about her crawling into his dorm window. now shouldi be paranoid or do you think its pointless harmless words that dont mean anything. she has told me so many times how much she is in love with me and doesnt have feelings for her ex. I shouldnt have been snooping but Its hard to stop when i read stuff like that aaahhh it just kills me. so what do you guys think, and how should i go about mentioning something to her about the way she talks to her ex because i dont know how to go from here. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted November 29, 2005 Share Posted November 29, 2005 Hello, I think you would have to be in major denial not to think how hot she is for her ex. She totally disrespect you. If the roles were reversed and you were saying things about your ex girlfriend, what do you think she would be thinking? It sounds pretty clear that she is playing you. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions writing to this guy speaks volumes. It is time for you to face reality. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotrod12345 Posted November 29, 2005 Author Share Posted November 29, 2005 Sometimes its hard to fully understand the situation but here is some more information that I thought about after reading your post. She has mostly guy friends and I know her friendships with them are harmless because I am friends with a few of them. She is a very outgoing person that likes to make people smile. No she had been with this guy on and off for 3 years before me but she actually left him for me because she had wanted me for over a year when she was on and off with him. So it possible that her comment was innocent but its just so hard for me to tell. I know she would say something like that to her other guy friends and it wouldnt be a big deal but it just bothers me that its an ex who is still not over her. I am looking for some guidence on what to do after this because i obviously cant confront her about it. any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
filarena Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Very tough spot. You snooped, and that costs you a great deal of moral high ground, but I have to say I would not be comfortable with what she said to him. My gf and I just had a fairly extended fight about her talking to other guys, and she wasn't telling any of them to dream about her crawling in their window. I don't think that's acceptable behavior for a gf. Once you start feeling insecure enough to snoop, and you find something, you will snoop again. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but whether she's cheating or not, it's tough to have a strong relationship when she's telling other guys to fantasize about her and you're snooping on her. You're neither one of you being open with each other, and that's just bad news. And you do have to consider that if she isn't cheating yet, she might. Just my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Hotrod, aren't you the same guy who posted that his g/f told you she WOULD BE CONTINUING to hang out with her ex, and that she can tell him anything, etc.? Then you find this (this alone would be reason to dump). There is nothing further for you but for heartache, and the sinking feeling everytime you hook up with your g/f that she's recently been doing the same thing with him. Walk with your dignity Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 "A person's character is determined by what they do when nobody is watching." -- Whoever said it first Hotrod, your GF has just shown you (inadvertently) who she really is. An honest and faithful partner doesn't send suggestive fantasy fodder to an ex. Doesn't happen. You'd have to be blind to not see this for what it is. Dump her ass and move on... unless you want to continue a relationship that makes you endlessly insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotrod12345 Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 The issue is resolved thank you guys very much. The message she left him was more or less an inside joke about how in the past she used to sneak into his window when she was with him. Im aware that its harmless and she does not want to see him in person ever because there is no point. she told me this and based on the trust i have and what her friends and mother tell me, im satisfied that she doesnt want her ex. I know some of you might think im CRAZY but love definatly makes you crazy sometimes. thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
itmustbeme Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 she is going to dream about him everyday this week(she told me she had a dream about me and her ex but it was very hard ot remember) and that when he takes his nap she hopes that he dreams about her crawling into his dorm window. She has an explanation for everything. If she was so in love with you she would not be "dreaming" about this other guy. By the way did she explain why she was dreaming of him. You are going to get your heart broken so just realize this. Many years ago I had a girlfriend who said the same thing and next thing you know she was sleeping with her ex "friend". I did get even though. I dumped her and dated her friend! It broke her heart and I got revenge but the best part of it was I married her friend. You keep catching her at things and you are not reading the signs. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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