Share your Postive stories on how space helped your marriage

[dontwanttoloosehim]

I am intrested to know. Anyone had gone through "space" and things eventually worked out?

[Becoming]

I know this isn't what you mean, but living in a big old house may be the space my marriage needs to stay strong.

 

But yes, there was a time when we separated briefly in order to gain some perspective on things, and that was 10 years ago.

[Hot Coco]

Yes, I left my ex husband and moved to another state. It worked out great since I met my current husband 3 days after doing that. A lot to be said for space..especially if you have a whole state between you!

[trickynj99]

Hi DWLH...

 

i'm about to enter the "i want some space" zone and i don't have high hopes..

 

ourplane is to let the kids know after the holidays..its so chilly in our house right now i fear we doing more harm than good...my wife seems to really think the "space" will help her to decide whether she wants to fight for our marriage.

 

i think she's already decided and this is phase one ...

 

if i want to stay, i'm stuck doing what she wants...

 

i'd love to hear from some who "separated" to think things over and it worked out for the marriage.

 

By the way..i have an in-law where the husband moved out 9 yrs ago..they never divorced..got back together last year and are very happy

 

so you never know

[scobro]

so you never know

 

But don't hang on to false hope either!

[trickynj99]

and i'm guessing they had a hard time of it for many yrs ....

[Devildog]

ourplane is to let the kids know after the holidays..its so chilly in our house right now i fear we doing more harm than good...my wife seems to really think the "space" will help her to decide whether she wants to fight for our marriage.

 

With all due respect, this is a crock of $hit. My XW played the whole "our unhappiness is making our daughter miserable, it's better to separate/divorce for the sake of her happiness" bit. So after over a year of being separated and 8 months after divorcing (short time frame between separation and divorce huh?) is my child any happier? Well, she asks for me on almost a daily basis. She doesn't want to go home when it is time for me to bring her back. Long story short, she doesn't like not being with both her parents at the same time.

 

You are trading one form of your child's unhappiness for another form. Would it have been better in my situation for my XW to atleast have given counselling a try instead of running off with another guy? I bet my daughter thinks so.

 

I would seriously suggest trying to fix the problems in your marriage first and foremost before going the separation route. Kids may eventually get used to how things are with divorced parents, but they are rarely really happy about it. This is more a cop-out one spouse uses as an excuse rather than admit they want to leave.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I am intrested to know. Anyone had gone through "space" and things eventually worked out?

 

I don't mean to be harsh here, but does this needing space last until his pending green card comes through? I expect after that, he'll be needing lots more space: as in a legal separation type of 'space'. After reading your posts, it appears that it isn't legit space he needs.

[trickynj99]

Devil D-

 

i think its a crock of **** too. HOWEVER!!!!!!!! I have tried , my wife hasnt.

that is her right, nothing i can really do to change her mind

 

every situation is different and what happened in ours is that as i attempt to hang in , atone for mistakes, work on the marriage...i get less than zero back, have become a shell of myself and i'm feeling ready to give up...

 

i know the kids are in the middle. i know they will be hurt. for awhile i thought "making it thru the holidays" was another way of sticking it out to work it out..

i don't think that's true anymore but we still have another month.