husband bad in bed

[valerie]

I have been married for the past few years to a really sweet and loving guy. I'm 22 and I've been involved with him since I was 16. I had only one lover before that, but plenty of boyfriends. "Donny" won me over by being a wonderful guy, but I have never been extremely attracted to him physically. He's average looking, but too thin. I love him, though. About a month ago, we had a chance to try a threesome with another guy, which we had talked about before and thought might be fun, so we did it. "Vince" was the other guy. I saw him before we did this, but Donny didn't want to see him until we did it. He was not prepared for Vince. They both came out of seperate rooms naked at the same time to the bedroom, and saw each other for the first time. I could tell Donny was intimidated right away. Vince was very good looking and, at 6'0" each, had 188pounds to Donny's 146. To get to the point, Vince was incredible. He was clearly the dominant male. He was passionate and confident and did things to me that Donny never imagined doing. He was endowed too. Easily over two inches longer and twice as thick as Donny. I hit orgasm three times. I had never even had one before. We went at it for over two hours, but Donny was barely involved after the first ten minutes. Vince was aggressive, but gentle, so much stronger than Donny, but never hurt me. Well, Donny now feels totally inadequate in bed and, though I don't tell him this, I feel he is too. I have been with Vince over a dozen times since then. I still make love to Donny, but I've discovered sex 100 times better with Vince, and now I'm stuck. I really do love Donny and he is the most wonderful guy, but he is a bad lover. What now?

 

Valerie

[Ryan]

I have been married for the past few years

to a really sweet and loving guy. I'm 22 and I've been involved with him since I was 16. I had only one lover before that, but plenty of boyfriends. "Donny" won me over by being a wonderful guy, but I have never been extremely attracted to him physically. He's average looking, but too thin. I love him, though. About a month ago, we had a chance to try a threesome with another guy, which we had talked about before and thought might be fun, so we did it. "Vince" was the other guy. I saw him before we did this, but Donny didn't want to see him until we did it. He was not prepared for Vince. They both came out of seperate rooms naked at the same time to the bedroom, and saw each other for the first time. I could tell Donny was intimidated right away. Vince was very good looking and, at 6'0" each, had 188pounds to Donny's 146. To get to the point, Vince was incredible. He was clearly the dominant male. He was passionate and confident and did things to me that Donny never imagined doing. He was endowed too. Easily over two inches longer and twice as thick as Donny. I hit orgasm three times. I had never even had one before. We went at it for over two hours, but Donny was barely involved after the first ten minutes. Vince was aggressive, but gentle, so much stronger than Donny, but never hurt me. Well, Donny now feels totally inadequate in bed and, though I don't tell him this, I feel he is too. I have been with Vince over a dozen times since then. I still make love to Donny, but I've discovered sex 100 times better with Vince, and now I'm stuck. I really do love Donny and he is the most wonderful guy, but he is a bad lover. What now?

You've discovered one of the many inherent problems that always arise when you try to bring a threesome into a marriage. You try to spice up your sexual intimacy to cover up and make up for a lack of emotional connection...and it fails horribly. You create a situation of jealousy and distrust, not to mention the outright infidelity. You should really be asking yourself what's wrong with this marriage. It's pretty clear that you aren't happy with the situation. The healthy approach would have been discussing your physical needs with your husband and having open communication, not adding another body. This really was a big mistake. You need to start re-evaluating the relationship between you and your husband and possibly seek some marital counseling. This problem extends deeper than sex and further than we can effectively deal with here.