Lennox Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 For those that are interested, today's Oprah is about porn addiction and how it affects the lives of both the addict and their families. I've heard nothing but good things about this particular show and I am preparing to watch it in about a half hour. From what I understand, she has a qualified therapist on there, as opposed to some resident armchair wannabe psychologists that are on here. If you miss it, try to catch it on the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Thank you Lennox..I just saw the last 15 minutes or so but what I saw was very insightful..very interesting as to the reasons behind the addiction...thanks again.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lennox Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 It was a great show. Very informative without being judgmental. As usual, she did a great job tackling a subject that she has not had personal experience with. No wonder Oprah is Oprah! http://www2.oprah.com/index.jhtml If you want to see highlights, click on the link...or just go to oprah.com Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Oprah is a womans show, pandering to similar women incapable of thinking for themselves. She told her audience exactly what they wanted to hear and they lapped it up. It was as one-sided as always. There is nothing wrong with porn. Grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Oprah is a womans show, pandering to similar women incapable of thinking for themselves. She told her audience exactly what they wanted to hear and they lapped it up. It was as one-sided as always. There is nothing wrong with porn. Grow up. And your post is very one sided as well. If you haven't been in a relationship with a porn addicted person you wouldn't see how this can be an issue. Please reply to posts that you can relate to...thanks Link to post Share on other sites
High Contrast Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 If you haven't been in a relationship with a porn addicted person you wouldn't see how this can be an issue. For most people porn never becomes a problem. And the wives of those few who do become obsessed never want to admit that they married freaks, so they blame the porn instead of their own inept judgement. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lennox Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 High Contrast and Enema...did either one of you two losers even see the show? Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 I will openly admit I married a freak who was addicted to lots of things...and from what I have learned and reheard yesterday that porn is very much an addiction however..it's not necessarily the "porn" they are addicted to they are addicted to the feeling they get from viewing it, the increased seritonin (prolly wrong spelling) levels, the rush they get internally, for most it's not a "sex" thing however the person they are with feels that is what it is and that they are not desirable anymore. Everyone has a different perspective on the porn issue, whether its addicting or not however as I stated before, unless you have been in this situation it is difficult to see what it can do and how very real it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Lennox, despite the bad behaviour you've seen on other threads, you are not supposed to call names on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Let's compare it to alcohol. You can drink a couple beers on a regular basis and not be considered an alcoholic. The same holds true with porn. You can look at it and not be addicted, as long as you're not spending a bunch of money and not having to look at it hours every day, and it's not affecting your sex life, then you're probably not addicted. Don't confuse alcoholism or porn addiction with a drinking or porn "problem". Rather than being an addiction, having a problem has to do with being immature, and having an immature way of balancing your want's with your responsibilities. This is when your activity falls within normal behavioral boundaries, but still causes problems in your life, and you won't quit doing it. ANY activity can become a problem. It can be using the internet, video games, sports, working overtime, bars or clubbing, porn, strip clubs, drinking, shopping, prescription drugs, excessive spending, etc. People with proper priorities quit doing things that cause problems with their livlihoods, or the people they love. They know what's most important in their lives and can effectively prioritize. They talk with their spouse and come to a reasonable compromise. I guess the complicated thing about porn is that it's ALL considered bad. There's no moral argument to defend looking at pornography and there's no middle ground. To many, looking at it even on occasion is sick and demented. In sharp contrast to the general moral consensus, porn is completely legal and widely available. This is kind of a setup for failure. If it's only an occasional vice maybe you can learn to overlook it. Hell, it's better than taking up smoking and cheaper than golf! Link to post Share on other sites
High Contrast Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Excessive computer gaming has the hallmarks of addiction, suggests new experiments on "drug memory". The researchers argue it should be classified as such, enabling “addicts” to start seeking help. Gaming fanatics show hallmarks of drug addiction Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Let's compare it to alcohol. You can drink a couple beers on a regular basis and not be considered an alcoholic. The same holds true with porn. You can look at it and not be addicted, as long as you're not spending a bunch of money and not having to look at it hours every day, and it's not affecting your sex life, then you're probably not addicted. I guess the complicated thing about porn is that it's ALL considered bad. There's no moral argument to defend looking at pornography and there's no middle ground. Kenyth - Not sure if this was said as a blanket statement or if directed to me but you bring up a very valid point. I guess when I say porn addiction I have not made myself entirely clear. I am talking people that loose all trace of reality and get sucked into it. People that loose track of time and family. It's not necessarily the monetary reasons (from what I have known anyway) because there are many free sites out there. Please understand when I talk of porn addiction I am actually speaking of the addiction not the everyday male or female that glances at it once in a while or even rents a video once in a while. I am talking about the people that are truly addicted the ones that can't pull themself away from it. And trust me they are out there. As I said I was married to one. But as I said before it's not necessarily the sex that people are craving it's the rush they get from viewing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Skeered, There certainly are all kinds of addicts out there. I just want to differentiate. It seems like in this day and age, anyone who does something that their S/O doesn't like and refuses to quit is an addict of some sort. It's BS, and gives people an excuse to misbehave, and therapists an excuse to make money. 1. A physical addiction is like a heroin addiction. Your body gets physical withdrawal symptoms that are health/life threatening if you quit. Convulsions, fever, sweats, hyper or hypocardia, hallucinations, etc. 2. A mental addiction is a mental illness. You get significant mental symptoms from withdrawal that can affect your physical well being and require medical attention. Depression, anxiety, compulsive behavior, abnormal behavior, etc. 3. A lack of self control or self discipline is not a medical condition as much as it's a personal shortcoming. Most "problems" fall into this area. People who refuse to give up something because it's fun regardless of it's impact on their family. It's immature behavior, pure and simple. They have not learned to accept responsibility. The cure for this is tough love and teaching them consequences. Giving them a wake up call. It's prevalent in young adults and usually abates as the person gets older. You know the old saying. Good judgement comes from being wise and wisdom comes from experience. Experience primarily comes from bad judgement and paying the consequences of it. Mind now that you can have any combination of the three problems above. Threy're not independant of each other, and one can also easily lead to another. The point I'm trying to make is that a 20-something year old male who watches porn, drinks too much beer, and doesn't give enough respect to his girlfreind likely isn't an addict. He's young and dumb. The best thing you can do for both of you is to leave him. I see a lot of complaints like this around here. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Ahhh, Kenyth! The voice of reason Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Skeered, There certainly are all kinds of addicts out there. I just want to differentiate. It seems like in this day and age, anyone who does something that their S/O doesn't like and refuses to quit is an addict of some sort. It's BS, and gives people an excuse to misbehave, and therapists an excuse to make money. 1. A physical addiction is like a heroin addiction. Your body gets physical withdrawal symptoms that are health/life threatening if you quit. Convulsions, fever, sweats, hyper or hypocardia, hallucinations, etc. 2. A mental addiction is a mental illness. You get significant mental symptoms from withdrawal that can affect your physical well being and require medical attention. Depression, anxiety, compulsive behavior, abnormal behavior, etc. 3. A lack of self control or self discipline is not a medical condition as much as it's a personal shortcoming. Most "problems" fall into this area. People who refuse to give up something because it's fun regardless of it's impact on their family. It's immature behavior, pure and simple. They have not learned to accept responsibility. The cure for this is tough love and teaching them consequences. Giving them a wake up call. It's prevalent in young adults and usually abates as the person gets older. You know the old saying. Good judgement comes from being wise and wisdom comes from experience. Experience primarily comes from bad judgement and paying the consequences of it. Mind now that you can have any combination of the three problems above. Threy're not independant of each other, and one can also easily lead to another. The point I'm trying to make is that a 20-something year old male who watches porn, drinks too much beer, and doesn't give enough respect to his girlfreind likely isn't an addict. He's young and dumb. The best thing you can do for both of you is to leave him. I see a lot of complaints like this around here. Very wise words and I won't dispute them however I don't think that all women or men that might complain about the addiction (as they see it) with just 20-something males..ya know what I mean. I'm just saying that not all situations are as cut and dry as you stated above. And all I was wanting to state was that yes it can be an addiction as much as anything can. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 ...as opposed to some resident armchair wannabe psychologists that are on here. Yeah, you guys should be ashamed of yourselves. </kidding> Link to post Share on other sites
roxyg Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 This is by far the most interesting thread I have read in a long time. Very good insight from all! I didn't watch the Oprah show, I just read what everyone was talking about, and found it to be very interesting! Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Very wise words and I won't dispute them however I don't think that all women or men that might complain about the addiction (as they see it) with just 20-something males..ya know what I mean. I'm just saying that not all situations are as cut and dry as you stated above. And all I was wanting to state was that yes it can be an addiction as much as anything can. I won't argue that it "can" be an addiction. It most certainly can. It's just my opinion that most of the time it's not. Many people just can't bring themselves to face that the person they love or think they love is being a chronic a**h***. It's much easier to believe it's a medical condition of some sort that can be cured. The best cure for many such problems is a good square kick in the a$$! Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 It's just as easy to be addicted to Oprah. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 I won't argue that it "can" be an addiction. It most certainly can. It's just my opinion that most of the time it's not. Many people just can't bring themselves to face that the person they love or think they love is being a chronic a**h***. It's much easier to believe it's a medical condition of some sort that can be cured. The best cure for many such problems is a good square kick in the a$$! Totally agree..lol Well said... Link to post Share on other sites
wizzawhat Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 I see the same names popping up on this site all the time with hundreds of posts to their credit...bordering on additction would you say??? Link to post Share on other sites
InTheMachine Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 I think from my own experience the whole key in the porn debate is balance. Yup, porn can be addictive and dangerous to some, not that big a deal to others. But the anti-porn crusade can seem pretty dangerous and addictive, too. People need to relax a little, take things on a case by case basis. My life is all screwed up atm, not by porn, but by anti-porn nutballs. Havent seen porn in a year, but my wife is addicted to anti-porn chat rooms. Whatever. The whole thing makes me wanna beer. Link to post Share on other sites
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