Saying goodbye to FWBs

[slubberdegullion]

Well, my time with my FWB companions has come to a close.

 

In less than an hour I'll be having lunch with one of my friends to let her know that I'm closing that chapter on my life. If she still wants to enjoy sexual contact with me, I'll be looking for more. I miss the connection, I miss the companionship, I even miss the arguments (provided I'm not used as a target for dishes or other household stuff).

 

Sex is a huge part of a relationship, no doubt, and to me a sexless romantic relationship is like a steak dinner without the steak. But it's not the only part.

 

Hard to believe I'm doing this, but I am.

 

Turning a new leaf? I don't know. Maybe I'll change my mind when I'm in the midst of an unsatisfied hormonal avalanche.

 

Then again, maybe I won't. I just don't know.

[Art_Critic]

We all go thru the chapter closing and opening up a new one sooner or later..

 

Here's to the future healthy relationships that you are about to start having again.. Cheers

[SuperMonk]

I disagree with your analogy and steak. No sex in a relationship = No Steak Sauce/fixings/mash potatoes. Intimacy, Talking = Steak in relationship.

 

Got it?

[brashgal]

Damned if you do and damned if you don't, eh? Good Luck Slubber - you deserve some happier days...

[tinktronik]

Good for you S, I wish you many satisfying (in many ways ) relations in the future.

[Leilao1]

do sex only, no expectations and good sex, those were my best relationships and it lasted on the contrary of common belief

[slubberdegullion]

Oh dammit.

 

After the closing of the chapter with one of my FWB companions, I started second-guessing myself. "What if she's the one?" (which is nonsense because I don't believe there's such a thing as soul-mates or people that were somehow "meant" to be together).

 

Sleep last night was restless and haunted with the same inner questions emerging from my heart, conflicting with the common-sense values that my brain tends to spew forth in copious and sometimes ponderous quantities.

 

I was very close to contacting her this morning to recant and tell her it was all a mistake, but I didn't.

 

This is not supposed to hurt, at least that was the original intent of this type of relationship to begin with. People come and go, stay for a while and then move on. Again, my head knows this (well, one of them anyway) but the heart wants better answers.

 

Damn heart. I wish the thing would just shuddup, fercryinoutloud.

 

This is not supposed to happen to me! I am in control of my emotions, they don't control me. I am in control of whom I care for and whom I don't. I am the one who's forever telling friends and acquaintances to use your head in relationships and not to exclusively rely on feelings, because feelings lie.

 

Oh shyt. I hate it when my weakness bubbles up.

[seachange]

Hey, Slubber - you're human. It's okay to be human and feel your feelings once in a while. No judging here - closing any kind of a chapter is always painful, even if it's a short one. Maybe it's just the fear talking - not that she's "the one" but that you won't find someone better.

 

But you will. You're just moving these distractions aside so that you can.

 

You seem like a great guy with his head on straight (usually ) - so chin up and be proud of yourself for making a straightforward, tough decision. Not everyone can do that - it takes guts and honesty.

Good job.

[Cupcake]

It really takes a lot of maturity to make the decision you have made. But I'm curious to know if you are already involved with someone whom you've decided to commit to.

 

Most of the time, people don't get rid of FWB's until they've found that special person with whom they want to share all the intimacy and love in a relationship. Usually, feelings get involved just like yours have done here. And it causes problems in the new relationship and with the FWB relationship. The end result is usually DRAMA.

 

I really like the idea of ending the FWB first, then finding someone special. Your heart will have healed from whatever situation that drove you to have FWB. And by ending that first, your heart will have time to heal from the FWB before getting involved with someone serious. No drama required.

[slubberdegullion]

But I'm curious to know if you are already involved with someone whom you've decided to commit to.

Good question, but no. I'm not involved at all.

[JS17]

I would hardly call wanting a intimate relationship a weakness. You have to do what's best for you Slubber and if it's time for you to move on and find a emotionally involved relationship then you're doing the right thing. I hope you find what you're looking for.