About to explode....

[Housewife]

I'm sure you've heard it plenty of times that relationships change after a certain time. Mine has also. We still love each other very much and are happy. We had a child 2 years ago. I stayed home with our son while he went to work. Now I remember before when we were both working and we shared "chores". And I have no problem me doing housework since I'm at home. The thing is it's going too far. I pretty much do everything but wipe his, well you know. I do all the house work, even bring his plate to him, get him something to drink, and clear the table a meal. He also leaves whatever he was drinking where ever and I pick it up so the child doesn't get it and put it in the sink. I do the bills and the checkbook, laundry and take care of the baby. He maybe changes a diaper once a day (and not a dirty one). But he yells at me if I forget to put something away or didn't get something cleaned that day. I think he's a hipocrat (?) for some of the things he sometimes says I didn't do or clean. He doesn't have to do anything when he comes home except eat his own food and wipe (you know). Everything else is done for him. And he used to help a little when the baby was little, so what's different? I know I need to talk to him, but I'm afraid if I start I might blow off the handle and explode all over him. Any suggestions or opinions for me?

[Daniel]

Well you have to see his view on the some of these issues. I believe him to be wrong in some of the events, but I can see his reactions to some of the others as well. He looks at it as that he is the provider for the family. He leaves everyday and completes the task at hand at his job whether it be at an office or in the outdoors. You job environment is your home. You should not be angry at looking after the house for that IS your job now. But with that said, he does not have to react or be AS critical about how you do your job.....especially with the child. I can see if he does not want to do half of the chores as before, but looking after your child is far from a chore. You might really have to do some thinking on if he is a good father to the child. My advice is to try to just start asking nicely to help with small things and increase the question over time. You might even have to be overly thankful and appreciative about it to him. This might not be what you want to do, but it will help you get to where you want to be.

I'm sure you've heard it plenty of times that relationships change after a certain time. Mine has also. We still love each other very much and are happy. We had a child 2 years ago. I stayed home with our son while he went to work. Now I remember before when we were both working and we shared "chores". And I have no problem me doing housework since I'm at home. The thing is it's going too far. I pretty much do everything but wipe his, well you know. I do all the house work, even bring his plate to him, get him something to drink, and clear the table a meal. He also leaves whatever he was drinking where ever and I pick it up so the child doesn't get it and put it in the sink. I do the bills and the checkbook, laundry and take care of the baby. He maybe changes a diaper once a day (and not a dirty one). But he yells at me if I forget to put something away or didn't get something cleaned that day. I think he's a hipocrat (?) for some of the things he sometimes says I didn't do or clean. He doesn't have to do anything when he comes home except eat his own food and wipe (you know). Everything else is done for him. And he used to help a little when the baby was little, so what's different? I know I need to talk to him, but I'm afraid if I start I might blow off the handle and explode all over him. Any suggestions or opinions for me?

[housewife]

Thank you very much Daniel. I have taken all you said in consideration and agree. Thanks for being the only one to respond, I guess my story wasn't as interesting as teenagers tryin to figure out if it's love or if they should leave each other or treat the other right. Thanks.

Well you have to see his view on the some of these issues. I believe him to be wrong in some of the events, but I can see his reactions to some of the others as well. He looks at it as that he is the provider for the family. He leaves everyday and completes the task at hand at his job whether it be at an office or in the outdoors. You job environment is your home. You should not be angry at looking after the house for that IS your job now. But with that said, he does not have to react or be AS critical about how you do your job.....especially with the child. I can see if he does not want to do half of the chores as before, but looking after your child is far from a chore. You might really have to do some thinking on if he is a good father to the child. My advice is to try to just start asking nicely to help with small things and increase the question over time. You might even have to be overly thankful and appreciative about it to him. This might not be what you want to do, but it will help you get to where you want to be.