Finally got my second chance!

[AltplanB]

HA! she called me. She told me she had been thinking about me a lot lately. I shrugged it off and mostly talked about her. At the end she told me to call her anytime. Im gonna wait...put her on ice. Suggestions?

[J dub]

suggestions for you? Why? You dont listen to anything we say, but instead blow if off like we are cold hearted snakes who only want the worst for you.

[AltplanB]

so suggestions?

[CaliGuy]

so suggestions?

Yes. Run away from her for now. She's treated you badly and the second she gives you a moment of her time, you're right there for her. I would not have answered the phone and called her back a few days later. It's not a game, you see. She said "Call me anytime" but what you should do is let her call you. If you start calling her, she's going to know you are always her marionette.

 

Women almost instinctively want what they can not have. If she can have you easily, if you call her on a whim, if you're at her beck and call, you'll find yourself on the same road of heartbreak you're on now.

 

Has she changed in this short period of time? Nope. She just wants the self-confidence builder to know you're always there *IF* she wants you and the result of that is she never will as long as you always are.

[Art_Critic]

Women almost instinctively want what they can not have.

 

We all do.. men and women..

 

I agree ..leave her alone.. NC.. you need to let her stew in her own juices for a couple of months..

[CaliGuy]

We all do.. men and women..

 

I agree ..leave her alone.. NC.. you need to let her stew in her own juices for a couple of months..

 

Agreed, it's the only way.

 

For me and the ex, she would just have to change so drastically and so would I that the realization she's wrong for me is starting to creep in and smother the "I love her" feelings. I can't wait until the desire for her no longer exists in me and I can enjoy life again

[AltplanB]

Thats what im gonna do. Im not gonna call her. Im also gonna get one of my hot friends to fake that shes dating me and having a blast. Jealousy is apparently very powerful. Im working on it, and i may backfire, but im gonna be careful with everything i do. Once she wants to, she'll call me.

[Art_Critic]

Im also gonna get one of my hot friends to fake that shes dating me and having a blast.

 

Why fake it ????

 

Go out and get a hot girl and live your life for real ...

 

Jealousy is not a powerful tool when you are broken up and she has moved on ..

[J dub]

>Im also gonna get one of my hot friends to fake that shes dating me and having a blast.

 

BAD idea...its going to backfire when she hears/sees you two and thinks, good he's happy now.

 

> Jealousy is apparently very powerful.

 

Yeah like for me for example, its just enough to push me over the edge and forget him altogether. Women are not as competitive as men. A man seeing his ex with another fella may trigger jealousy in a way that'll have him back, but girls are different.

[CaliGuy]

Why fake it ????

 

Go out and get a hot girl and live your life for real ...

 

Jealousy is not a powerful tool when you are broken up and she has moved on ..

 

Agree on all counts. Good post, AC.

[AltplanB]

then how do i get my ex to have jealousy for me? how do women get jealous, especially when its kinda long distance. (different colleges) 45 minutes away.

[J dub]

well, firstly they have to be interested in you...and not ignoring you completely like your ex is. Sorry...

[CaliGuy]

then how do i get my ex to have jealousy for me? how do women get jealous, especially when its kinda long distance. (different colleges) 45 minutes away.

 

That's easy. Forget about them and move on for real. Don't "fake" it, really, honestly do it. Do go out with other women, even if you aren't completely over your Ex. Just let them know in advance you are on the rebound. The ones who aren't understanding will walk away and the ones who really like you will stick around and help you through.

 

But TRYING to make them jealous never works. You have to truly decide that you want happiness without them and you can. You just have to decide you really want that.

[Art_Critic]

Why do you not listen to the advice given here ???

 

Jealousy isn't going to work.. she is over you and has moved on.. or is trying to..

 

You need to really think about the self defeating thinking you are using right now.. I like to call it "stinking thinking"

 

Forget her.. live your life on your terms and everything will work out..

 

 

then how do i get my ex to have jealousy for me? how do women get jealous, especially when its kinda long distance. (different colleges) 45 minutes away.

[AltplanB]

I guess its a little early. It will take time for me to let go and i may never be able to, but i will still proceed with what i feel is the best way to get her back. I'm not gonna call her, im gonna let her do that. I'm just gonna post on my profile how much fun im having. However, at the same time, i am gonna hint that i still have feelings for her from time to time. I will work on moving on.

[Art_Critic]

How old are you ??

 

I guess its a little early. It will take time for me to let go and i may never be able to, but i will still proceed with what i feel is the best way to get her back. I'm not gonna call her, im gonna let her do that. I'm just gonna post on my profile how much fun im having. However, at the same time, i am gonna hint that i still have feelings for her from time to time. I will work on moving on.

[AltplanB]

were both 21. I just turned.

[CaliGuy]

I guess its a little early. It will take time for me to let go and i may never be able to, but i will still proceed with what i feel is the best way to get her back. I'm not gonna call her, im gonna let her do that. I'm just gonna post on my profile how much fun im having. However, at the same time, i am gonna hint that i still have feelings for her from time to time. I will work on moving on.

 

Well, you can start by getting out from behind the computer and doing something outside, something constructive. Go bike riding, walk a dog, go snowboarding, hang out with friends or make new ones.

 

I've come to the realization the excess time I spend behind the PC is slowing the healing process because it's causing me to seek information on her. I know I need to stop that. I have to stop thinking about the past and look to the future or I will never a happy future.

[Art_Critic]

were both 21. I just turned.

 

Alt.. you are young and just have a broken heart..

 

She is also young.. most relationships of people that are your age never last.. you need to learn from this one.

Learn what you did wrong and what she did wrong.. place the hurt and move on..

 

It is all about dating and finding someone that is right for you.

 

You ever heard the saying you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince ?? It relates to men in dating also

 

Well she is a frog.. You are going to kiss more of them till you find the right person for you

[AltplanB]

She was a pretty hot ****ing frog. Shes a heartbreaker though. I realize that now. She will be going strong with a guy and then all of a sudden, change her mind. It sucks, and it hurts a lot, but i understand. I also believe that shes having second thoughts. Im not dwelling on this but yea.

[CaliGuy]

She was a pretty hot ****ing frog. Shes a heartbreaker though. I realize that now. She will be going strong with a guy and then all of a sudden, change her mind. It sucks, and it hurts a lot, but i understand. I also believe that shes having second thoughts. Im not dwelling on this but yea.

 

As long as you keep hanging on to any piece of hope that she will come back, you will never heal. That's a simple fact of life.

 

Look to the future, not to the past. There's another girl waiting for you that is physically and mentally attractive to you and one day you'll wonder what you saw in this girl.

[AltplanB]

I get messages that she still cares for me a lot and is willing to help me through these tough times but that she still doesn't think that we should be talking about "normal daily living" She wants to keep contact but she doesn't want it to reflect our past. I am just gonna talk to her less and less. Or i could just end it now. I know thats what you guys think i should do, end it now.

But you guys need to realize that different people have different relationships and different needs. What works for some may not work for others. I value your advice and it may be the right way to go, but my gut dictates what i do. I know she probably won't come back, but i also know how she ended the previous relationships she had, and i know why she never went back to them cause i asked. I learned from what she said and i am trying in my own way. I know i shouldn't try at all but it takes a lot for me too fall in love and it takes a long time for it to happen. Just the same, it takes a lot for me to fall out of love and i go minute by minute on how i can keep it together. I dunno if that makes me a hopeless romantic or just retarded or what, but i love her.

[J dub]

>I get messages that she still cares for me a lot and is willing to help me through these tough times

 

Whomever is telling you this is not a friend, they are giving you false hope and it's not going to be a positive thing for you. If I were you i would ask this individual to stop telling me what she has to say. She's gone, it doesnt matter anymore.

 

>but that she still doesn't think that we should be talking about "normal daily living"

 

Take a guess as to why?

 

>She wants to keep contact but she doesn't want it to reflect our past.

 

Does she want to keep in contact? Sounds to me like youre digging here. She didnt respond to any of your mediums of conversation. Let her go already.

 

>I am just gonna talk to her less and less.

 

Dont at all.

 

>Or i could just end it now. I know thats what you guys think i should do, end it now.

 

Yes and the reason is because she is already gone and youre still stifling yourself in this little idea that maybe shes coming back. She's not. And if she did, it wont be until you've moved on anyhow, so get on with it.

 

>But you guys need to realize that different people have different relationships and different needs.

 

Yes, but you are also trying to see yourself as the "exception" to the rule which we all like to do. And guess what? Not all of us can be the exception...none of us are.

 

>What works for some may not work for others.

 

Of course, but what youve been doing so far hasnt exactly worked has it? the very definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over, expecting different outcomes. Look at what you are doing in comparison. See a resemblance? Something neeeeeeds to change here.

 

>I value your advice and it may be the right way to go,

 

But youre not going to listen.

 

>but my gut dictates what i do.

 

Your "gut" is entirely too influenced on your emotions which are clouding your judgement. We are seeing your situation for what it's worth: a guy who is pining away for his ex and she is long gone. She's left the station, seriously.

 

>I know she probably won't come back,

 

Then why waste your time?

 

>but i also know how she ended the previous relationships she had,

 

Do you? I know I am really great at sugar coating stories for my bf to make them sound a tad better than they really are.

 

>and i know why she never went back to them cause i asked.

 

Perhaps even she doesnt know. We are human, we dont have all of life's answers. Just because she may know why she didnt go back to these others doesnt mean it applies to yourself. You said it yourself, each situation is totally different.

 

>I learned from what she said and i am trying in my own way.

 

A way that isnt making any progress besides digging yourself deeper in the "sorry hole".

 

>I know i shouldn't try at all but

 

No "buts" about it.

 

>it takes a lot for me too fall in love and it takes a long time for it to happen. Just the same, it takes a lot for me to fall out of love and i go minute by minute on how i can keep it together.

 

Thats fabulous, join the rest of us. we are the same.

 

>I dunno if that makes me a hopeless romantic

 

It definitely makes you hopeless, I'll tell you that much.

 

Youve said over and over and OVER how much of a catch you are. But i dont think you truly believe that otherwise you'd forget about this broad and get out there to find someone whom you DONT have to plot to manipulate back in to your life. Even if she did come back after you the jealousy tactic and whatnot you want to try, you'll never know for sure if it was because you tricked her or if it was by her own decision. At least if you let fate take its course and she did come back, you'll know its because she loves you THAT much, you see where I am going with this?

 

I know it sucks to hear all of this because what you want to hear is, "this is how to get her back:" but what youre not seeing is, she's gone and NOTHING you do is going to cause her to come back. That is all up to her, and you just gotta get on with life and take this as a lesson. Otherwise, youre being insane. Literally.

 

So stop it!!

[CaliGuy]

JDub, I'm beating my head against the wall too

[AltplanB]

I am trying. It gets really hard on weekend nights when i know shes out with my ex friends that are trying to score her. I also know that shes letting them. I read about it in her profile. I try so hard not to and it hurts me even more after but I can't help it. I'm going out of my mind for someone that is so nice to everyone except me. I am the doormat. Like my sister said, i have to regain my confidence and power. But its so hard when your girl leaves you and takes your friends and you live alone in an apartment at 21. Its terrible. It keeps me from regaining my confidence. I try to go out and i try to make friends, but something about me turns people off now. I dunno, they just dont call me back. I really hate life right now and its all because of her. SHe put me in this hole, after all i did for her.