jukowera Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 My friend and I are both so horny when we're alone together, but we never do anything because we don't want to strain the friendship. He knows I want to get with him and he is tempted to say "What the hell, let's get back together". If he asks me back again it'll be for the last time (ie we'll be engaged eventually). But why does the feeling of wanting to rip eachother's clothes off and drill eachother so strong, why is it tempting us so much? It can't solely be hormones and past memories of what we were up to, surely. Is this saying we should be together again? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 It can't solely be hormones and past memories of what we were up to, surely. Oh yes it can be. And the fact that you're in prime breeding age and that we are still animals and, like all other animals, we have the urge to merge so that we'll make new offspring. It's all about biology trying to get you to mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jukowera Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 So Outkast, do you believe it best for both of us to no longer be friends? If it appears as only a biological attraction, why should be we be friends, despite the fact that we both want only the best for the other? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 If it appears as only a biological attraction, why should be we be friends, despite the fact that we both want only the best for the other? Huh? Either it's 'only a biological attraction' or else you're two friends who 'want the best for each other'. If the former, then right - why should you be friends. If, OTOH, you actually enjoy each other's company and want the best for each other, by all means be friends but don't take your lust for each other to mean anything other than you lust for each other. Lusting for someone doesn't mean you love him. Lusting for someone you love is part of love but not the sign that you love. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 One of the things this somewhat-long-in-the-tooth gal has realized.... Lust, in of itself, doesn't really 'mean' anything. Horniness is a very primal part of being human and feeling horny for someone can persist way past the 'woulda coulda shoulda' stage. Some people will always make you feel horny. The shape of their back....the way they smell....that thing they do with their mouth....we're all just hard-wired up to respond to a particular set of sensory clues. Being horny for someone doesn't mean that they are your soulmate, that they will see you through thick and thin, let you rest your head on their shoulder, help you pay the bills or talk about a future. If you are planning to get engaged shortly, I'd think long and hard about why you're choosing to marry the person you're planning a future with. Hopefully, you feel horny that person too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jukowera Posted December 2, 2005 Author Share Posted December 2, 2005 Either it's 'only a biological attraction' or else you're two friends who 'want the best for each other'. If the former, then right - why should you be friends. If, OTOH, you actually enjoy each other's company and want the best for each other, by all means be friends but don't take your lust for each other to mean anything other than you lust for each other. - O We know the difference between lust and love, and have joked about the lust part. We both want the love part because we know that's the 'real love'. Things like simply lying next to eachother, cuddling, holding eachother, etc. Being horny for someone doesn't mean that they are your soulmate, that they will see you through thick and thin, let you rest your head on their shoulder, help you pay the bills or talk about a future. -J I am trying to say that I KNOW the difference between primal and 'longterm love' (don't know the best word). We have seen eachother through good and bad and always will want to - both have freely admitted this several times. We has comforted eachother during tears, done anything to make the other smile - why would we care so much about those things if it was lust only? We have a relationship like no other, and it's been like this whether we were together or not. We're not friends because the sight of one makes the other horny, we just have tempting moments that seemed to increase lately. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 So what is your question exactly ? You asked, "Why is it tempting us so much?" and I think people here answered that question. We advised you to think long and hard about what true love is. Now you're saying you know the difference between horniness and true love. Is the real answer you seek, "Does this guy love me? Is he IN love with me?" Unfortunately, we can't answer that for you. Why dont' you screw up your courage and point blank ask him? Ask him the same thing you asked here...."Is this only lust? Or do we feel more than that? Should we end our engagements and explore this?" If you both play it close to the vest and never talk, you will never know. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 Huh? Either it's 'only a biological attraction' or else you're two friends who 'want the best for each other'. If the former, then right - why should you be friends. If, OTOH, you actually enjoy each other's company and want the best for each other, by all means be friends but don't take your lust for each other to mean anything other than you lust for each other. Lusting for someone doesn't mean you love him. Lusting for someone you love is part of love but not the sign that you love. Awesome advice Outcast! And JayKay too! Major sexual attraction and lust can easily be felt as LOVE because of the intensity of it. And especially if you're both still abit emotionally attached, that confuses things too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jukowera Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate all of your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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