ANonymous Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 When I and my girl friend are together we seem to be so inseparable. We cuddle, kiss, smile at each other, make love. But when I am not with her, it seems like I do not love her at all, and nothing will bother me if I do not see her at all. THis feeling is making me feel sick, because I know she does not feel the same way. But it seems as if my feelings and emotions are so real in her presence, yet such a contradiction when I am alone. Can someone please enlighten me as to what might be happening??? Am I psychologically debased or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 What you are describing is pretty normal. If you were obsessed with the love you have for your lady 24/7, you would be totally unproductive and useless to the world. When you are with her, it is quite appropriate to be in the moment and focused on the relationship. When you are away from her, except for occasional thoughts, it is very normal to be focused on your work, driving, bank balance, lunch or whatever. When I'm flying, I absolutely insist that my pilot not be obsessing about some great love affair. (I wonder how many crashes have resulted from such romantic daydreaming?) When you aren't with her, it's not that you don't love her...it's that your brain is appropriately focused on the task(s) at hand. I promise you that if she was to walk out of your life, you would be devastated. I think you're just being a bit too analytical here. Maybe when you first met her you thought of her a lot more when you were away from her. Now, you've settled into a more normal, sane state of mind. Don't think for a minute you don't love her. Love just sort of goes dormant sometimes so we can make a living and do other important things in our lives. I think you are perfectly healthy with the situation you describe. But don't for a minute think that because you aren't thinking of your beloved that you don't love her. The fact that you even bothered to make this post shows otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
marzipan75 Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 You are totally normal. It is perfectly alright for the two of you to have separate lives and chances are she's experienced similar feelings that you have when you are apart. This is fine because you can recognize that you do love her and you know how you feel when you are together is genuine. Now if it's something else when you are by yourself like for instance if you can't trust yourself around other females then you may have something to worry about. Unfortunately, I think women do become a little more attached than men do and I don't know why that is. Just consider yourself a normal guy, having a life outside of your relationship doesn't make you a bad guy, it makes you a normal guy! Hope that helps. When I and my girl friend are together we seem to be so inseparable. We cuddle, kiss, smile at each other, make love. But when I am not with her, it seems like I do not love her at all, and nothing will bother me if I do not see her at all. THis feeling is making me feel sick, because I know she does not feel the same way. But it seems as if my feelings and emotions are so real in her presence, yet such a contradiction when I am alone. Can someone please enlighten me as to what might be happening??? Am I psychologically debased or what? Link to post Share on other sites
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