Nubemeister Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I ask this because lately anything my friends do or say, well only one Im starting not to care. Mainly because she has already pushed me aside because of her new friends. I understand that when you are young you are only trying to see where you fit it, who you are. Im only 22 but I have always felt unwanted, stupid, ugly and just don't see the meaning to me being here. Im here I just don't know why. Im not smart, im don't have a great personlity and Im not attractive to say and overall I think Im not of any importance. I walk around knowing I am not important. I have no self-esteem. The word doesn't exist for me..lol and I have not been able to get out of that time and time again. I find myself really odd and of no significance, to the point where I don't talk as much because I know people don't want to hear anthing I have to say or im afraid people will just say Im stupid...like I have been told time and time again. There was one incident where my friend asked me if a certain guy was cute...and I didn't say anything because I thought I had no right to think that ..I don't know why but I thought I had no right to say he was cute..when Im so ...unimportant. (shrugs) I don't know... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I think that if you think this poorly of yourself it's time to go see a psychologist who'l help you out of the hole you've fallen into. Life isn't that bad and I am positive you are nowhere near the collection of faults you make yourself out to be but you need help to realize that. Link to post Share on other sites
Enygmatic Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 Look, if you don't like you, then it's hard for people to like you. The only way for people to love is if you love yourself. You need to realize that life is not bad, things are as bad as you want them to be. Do not focus on the negative things, instead focus on the good things, you could say that there is nothign good about your life but that is not true. Only the fact that you are alive is something wonderful. I rather having a crappy life than not having a life at all. If you start looking for people with bad luck then you'll relize that your self steem problems are way behind those real problems people have. Here in America we have the luxury of eating crappy fast food and then throwing whatever is left. in other parts of the world there are people that would dig in the garbage just to get 2 dirty french fries. See what im trying to say????. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 self hypnosis works wonders for things like this. go to paul mckennas website and do the excercises for low confidence etc. to be honest i dont agree with counselling in such matters. it only creates an identity around it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nubemeister Posted December 3, 2005 Author Share Posted December 3, 2005 I see what your saying... And I understand thank you all:) Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 i dont agree with counselling in such matters. it only creates an identity around it. I have to disagree. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I have to disagree. Nebby actually makes a good point. A good counsellor will not only put a name to the issue(s) but will also use that information to determine, with the patient, a treatment plan. Poor counsellors, though, often simply name the issue without going a step further. So it's somewhat dependent on the quality of the caregiver. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 i have an excellent book which explains it. simply put, our id is created by our experience, we our limited by our beliefs of what we are capable of achieving, if we continue to reinforce a certain "story" of who we are, by talking about it and analysing it for hours on end then we are still just living within our self imposed limitations. the thing is our ego is not all we are, it is only who we THINK we are. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 the thing is our ego is not all we are, it is only who we THINK we are. And the counsellor's job is to change who we think we are, though yes, Slub, some counsellors aren't good at their jobs. But that's the same with all professionals so it doesn't make sense to avoid all professionals in case you get a bad one. You just have to be an informed consumer of health services. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 well i have never met a good counsellor then. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 well i have never met a good counsellor then. You cannot generalize to all of the thousands upon thousands of counsellors based upon your anecdotal experience. It took me quite a while to find a doctor I like, a hairdresser I like, and a lawyer I like. That I found some I didn't like doesn't mean they're all bad. Now, if you'd met several thousand and they were all bad, that would be a different story. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 well yes of course, but i wasnt generalising about counsellors based on that. i was talking about creating an identity around a problem. which i still hold to. however i would not rule out to somebody the possibility of alternative solutions and if somebody else is advocating counselling then i assume they have had a good experience with one. in my case i have not, and that is all i was saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts