mooncloudprincess Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 So, its been a few days over a month. He dumps me and I immediately begin no contact. He sends a stupid letter via email 2 weeks ago or so...and I reply stating that I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't want him contacting me. I was through with him...Of course I was not that nice, cause he wasn't either... Anyway he texts me today saying that he wants me to call him..that we need to make peace... What do you guys think..I have some idea of how I want to handle it, but don't want to be stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
omegaRED Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 What for? I mean, peace... You think you`ll be comfortable being around him as "a friend"? If you do, and feel ready, then make peace, if you don`t want to be his "friend", then what the hell for? You need to maintain NC so you can heal. Talking to him is not going to help you. Unless he makes a clear plea that he wants you back, NC all the way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mooncloudprincess Posted December 3, 2005 Author Share Posted December 3, 2005 I supposed because at this point we are enemies in a sense.... He did some pretty trifling things during our relationship, and in the end was stupid enough to think I WOULD be his friend. Whatever. I wasn't sure if him asking for us to make peace was a plea for friendship or something else. I do know that he did think the grass was greener and he is lonely without me. Anyhow...I don't want to be with him at this point....his character is flawed in a crucial area.... What I would like is an apology for particular acts on his part. I could be wrong...but I believe that he doesn't need me to call him for him to apologize to me. I don't need to make peace with him..because really, I didn't do anything to him (okay after the fact I did call the other woman...but it wasn't designed as revenge...it was designed to give me closure...which I got and I am not sorry for...it help me to shut the door on him) It seems to me that he is trying to get me to do the work that he should be doing by asking me to call...I shouldn't be making any effort at all. Am I right?? Link to post Share on other sites
omegaRED Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 Heh. I also wanted an apology from my ex, for the way she treated me. This is after i found out why she broke up with me and that she lied to me for 3-4 months, prior to and after the break up. She texted me a week after i caught her with her colleague, asking me when i`m free to meet with her. A couple of days later i asked her why does she want to meet with me, she answered along the lines of "Well you said you wanted to meet me and talk, so i texted you once i had time". So... She doesn`t feel the need to apologize. To me, that was enough. If a person cannot admit they hurt someone deeply, lied and strung the other person along, and DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING, then what good would an apology be, knowing that i had to get it out of her. No need. That pretty much says everything i need to know about that person. You don`t need to call. If he has a guilty conscience, he must grow the balls to call you and apologize. You don`t need to do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
adversity Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 No, I don't think you should call him. It's like he wants you to meet him halfway, but why should you do that? I don't think you did anything which warrants you having to make any bit of an effort. Take my ex. He broke up with me saying he needed space, I called him after a month to ask him what was going on, he got nasty and told me there would be nothing between us, and to emphasize the "nothing", proceeded to use all the languages he could think of to express the word zero. He then told me that basically i was just a hole for him to stick his d*** in and he got bored of me like he did with everything else in his life. And you know what? I've never even called him any names in his life. After that he texted me pretending nothing had happened, i didn't reply. 3 weeks later he IMs me while he's on holiday saying 'hey there'. I don't respond either. 1 week after that his friend asks me to his birthday party, and he forwards me the message (dunno if he knew his friend had already forwarded it to me). I didn't go. I don't see any reason why I should go out of my way for him. In fact, I was going out of my way to avoid him, because if he had not been at that party I would have gone. If he is sincere about making peace, he will call you. But I would say if he doesn't make that effort, then he just wants to know you're still on his string. Don't be his puppet. Even if that is not the case and he is sincere about wanting to apologize but his pride won't let him do the things he has to do, then too bad. He is the one who has to live with his conscience. Don't make it easy for him. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 He can apologize just as easily by phone or letter. The in-person things is fishy. Link to post Share on other sites
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