Tony T Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 NOBODY, ANYWHERE OR AT ANYTIME HAS EVER said you were wrong to defend yourself. You need to learn to read more carefully. What I wrote was there is NO NEED for you to defend yourself. What that means is that it is NOT NECESSARY for you to defend yourself and dignify posts that cut you down. You only give them credibility, bring more attention to yourself and aggravate the other person by doing so. Go back and read my post above again. Part of growing up and being a fully acutalized, emotionally healthy adult human being is being kind to yourself and not allowing yourself to get all bent by what other people think. It serves the world no good purpose for you to answer people you don't even know...and that you will never know...and try to answer charges that you really don't need to put any value on. Unfortunately, in defending yourself you merely make certain people think even less of you than if you had not replied at all. Furthermore, if you don't reply you will find that most of the unfavorable posts will cease. As a general rule, people don't waste their time unless they're getting a rise out of somebody. When you defend yourself, you just give positive reinforcement to the person who is trying to get at you. You confirm that they have been successful. This is not Ph.D. psychology stuff, this is stuff you should have learned long ago. You are going to have to look at yourself and try to understand why you would let words on a screen written by someone you don't even know bother you to the point of going back and forth with them for hours. Nothing personal, but this sort of thing is rather childish, particularly in the context of the anonymous nature of this forum. Perhaps you grew up in a confrontational home where you had to constantly justify everything you did. In the real world that is not necessary or warranted. I do appreciate that you enjoy typing on your computer but so much of it is completely unnecessary. Discuss this with your therapist and perhaps he can go into more details and work with you on this. This post is for informational purposes and no answer is required. If you have questions, read it again. It may be nice for you to get used to reading things without felling the compulsion to reply when none is necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
jennie/ to tony....!!!/ i understand and agree.. Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 i don't understand this at all! this is weird...when this post was waaaaay down there at the bottom then i deleted my message and the response one came way up here....why does it do that? NOBODY, ANYWHERE OR AT ANYTIME HAS EVER said you were wrong to defend yourself. You need to learn to read more carefully. What I wrote was there is NO NEED for you to defend yourself. What that means is that it is NOT NECESSARY for you to defend yourself and dignify posts that cut you down. You only give them credibility, bring more attention to yourself and aggravate the other person by doing so. Go back and read my post above again. Part of growing up and being a fully acutalized, emotionally healthy adult human being is being kind to yourself and not allowing yourself to get all bent by what other people think. It serves the world no good purpose for you to answer people you don't even know...and that you will never know...and try to answer charges that you really don't need to put any value on. Unfortunately, in defending yourself you merely make certain people think even less of you than if you had not replied at all. Furthermore, if you don't reply you will find that most of the unfavorable posts will cease. As a general rule, people don't waste their time unless they're getting a rise out of somebody. When you defend yourself, you just give positive reinforcement to the person who is trying to get at you. You confirm that they have been successful. This is not Ph.D. psychology stuff, this is stuff you should have learned long ago. You are going to have to look at yourself and try to understand why you would let words on a screen written by someone you don't even know bother you to the point of going back and forth with them for hours. Nothing personal, but this sort of thing is rather childish, particularly in the context of the anonymous nature of this forum. Perhaps you grew up in a confrontational home where you had to constantly justify everything you did. In the real world that is not necessary or warranted. I do appreciate that you enjoy typing on your computer but so much of it is completely unnecessary. Discuss this with your therapist and perhaps he can go into more details and work with you on this. This post is for informational purposes and no answer is required. If you have questions, read it again. It may be nice for you to get used to reading things without felling the compulsion to reply when none is necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tony T Posted July 18, 2001 Author Share Posted July 18, 2001 Many people say I'm full of hot air. They must be right. If I am truly full of hot air and heat rises, that would certainly explain why my post zoomed to the top when you deleted your posts. Just a simple matter of physics. Link to post Share on other sites
jennie/ to tony....!!!/ i understand and agree.. Posted July 18, 2001 Share Posted July 18, 2001 you are full of it......"hot air" that is! LOL! Many people say I'm full of hot air. They must be right. If I am truly full of hot air and heat rises, that would certainly explain why my post zoomed to the top when you deleted your posts. Just a simple matter of physics. Link to post Share on other sites
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