figgurinoutlife Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 My ex girlfriend and I have been broken up for over a year and have tried to remain friends. I did NC to her last April for 2 mos. cause she didn't want me back and I figured it was the only way to get over her and possibly make her miss me. Well she started calling in June and trying to slowly creep back in my life and I let her and we have been friends since. I decided to change my life while we weren't talking by working out, getting a good job, going out, and dating. She could tell I changed from who I used to be when we started talking again. Well, in Sept. she asked me if I missed being with her, and questions like that, and I said at times, then she asked when I missed her, etc. I asked her the same question and she said she missed me too. Then we didn't talk for a week, then when she called again it was back to friend talk. In Oct. she told me she wanted to tell me something and it was that she is still in love with me and has never fallen out of love with me, but at the same time she said she is in love with her boyfriend. I really didn't say much, and over the next month she would try to get me to tell her how I feel. I really didn't want to cause I was scared that she just wants an ego boost and she is with someone also. So I just kind of walked around that subject when she brought it up without saying much about the way I felt. She told me in Oct. that her and her boyfriend were getting a newer apt. and that in 6 mos. when their lease is up that she wanted to break up with him and be with me, and I was like "whatever." I am very much still in love with this girl, but am scared to tell her how I feel cause she likes a challenge, and is dating someone else. The other day she asked me directly if I loved her and I said "yes." A couple days later she tried to get me to say I was still in love with her and I couldn't do it cause I was scared to. She said "you want to say it, I can tell, but you aren't." So we last talked on Tues. and we hugged and she went back to her apt. and she called me an hour later and we she told me to have a good night at work and thanked me for the loan (I loaned her a couple bucks). Now she is being quiet again and I have not heard from her since Tues. I tried to call her yesterday, but no return yet. She doesn't talk to me around her boyfriend cause he hates me, but it is still unusual for her not to call. Anyways my question is, should I tell her I am still in love with her and tell her I want to be with her again? Do you think she will still act interested in me if I keep being quiet about my feelings? Or if I tell her will she be like "okay, I have him hooked again, next." Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 Should I tell my ex how I feel? Short answer, no. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
simon sez Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 Women LOVE confident, happy, decisive men. REPEAT.. Women LOVE confident, happy, decisive men.... You are coming across as just the opposite. No confidence, unhappy and not at all decisive....... (think about it) HERE is how to get her back....... Stop calling her.. Start dating other women and make sure your ex thinks that you might possibly be over her and into someone else.... Tell her "NO, I am NOT still in love with you. I don't share, and you are with another man. I don't share my women with any man. We had our chance and it didn't work. I will always care about you, but I am not in love with you anymore." Say it STRONGLY, confidently and firmly. Then let her go and act like you are moving on. The bus has left the station without her.. THAT is your best option to get her back. AND if not, you will suddenly start noticing that you are perfectly fine without her, and as a matter of fact you might even start to realize that you ALLOWED her to do this to you. Men that are successful with women do what I am recommending you to do. That is why they ARE succsessful. Women are STRONGLY attracted to a strong confident man who acts like he wants to go somewhere with his life and shows her that other women find him attractive and desireable. Give her the "silent" dump... Think about it.. Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 Go with what Simon said! He hit the nail on the head. Link to post Share on other sites
nextel Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 She has a b/f and you gave her a loan? C'mon dude, are you that desperate? Listen, as a woman myself I will tell you this......the only reason I would continue to contact another man while I am in another relationship is because the man that I live with does not give me the attention I need. Besides, I know the other man will always make me feel desired....but I really dont want him. I just need him to be my emotional tampoon. Leave her alone. She is real silly. If she wanted to be with you, even the lease would not stop her. She is making excuses because she knows that you love her. Grow a sack and ignore her. True love will not make you feel the way that you do. If love aint loving you back, then you need to move on. I wish I could follow my own advice Link to post Share on other sites
J dub Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 Figurinoutlife: Between Nextel's & Simon's comments, you have all you need. Slubberdegullion said it short and sweet: let her go. You are acting as a support system to someone who has already thrown you to the wolves...now stop being a doormat and get on with your life. Ps: The whole bit about her breaking up with her bf in a few months when the lease is up? It's a line to keep you around. She's leading you on because you make her feel good about herself and lets face it, we could all use our own personal cheerleader - just dont be the idiot who IS the cheerleader. Link to post Share on other sites
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