I guess I'm just jealous...

[cgm5]

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and things are great. We are both in our mid 20's and have a couple of big events coming up in the next year...1. his graduation party from college, 2. our wedding.

 

In any event, before I met him he had a sexual relationship with one of his good friends. They would "hook-up" every couple of months or so. He also had another friend that he slept with years ago, it was just one of those random things.

 

The problem is that I can't stand to see these two people without my stomach turning knowing that he has slept with them both. The good thing is that we rarely see them, maybe once or twice a year. When I do have to see them I'm very nice...I have no reason to not like them. They've never done anything to me, but the feelings are there just the same. I don't want either at my wedding...not that they aren't nice enough people, but I just don't want to see them on this very important day. I also don't care to invite them to his graduation party. I know it may be irrational, but its real to me just the same.

 

I think a big part of my jealosy stems from my being a virgin when we met. I now know that sex isn't that big a deal, but I just can't get past the fact that he has shared really intimate experiences with those two people. I'm sure others have dealt with this type of situation and I'm curious to see how it was handled. Any thoughts would be very welcome!

[travellingman]

I know it's not pleasant to think about, but if it all happened before you were together, I don't see what the big deal is.

 

Don't let negative thoughts get the best of you during what should be an exciting time in your life.

[westernxer]

You're being territorial. Not a bad thing, but it can jeopardize your relationship if it gets out of hand. I reiterate what travellingman said about the negative thoughts... don't let them get the best of you.