Im so lost

[Sabrina]

I wrote a post a week ago titled IM So Hurt.... I never got to say goodbye to boyfriend leaving for the coast gaurd. What is worse we had an awful fight and he said those awful things that hurt me so bad and no matter what anybody says to me I dont believe he meant them...This is killing me because I wonder if he is sorry and if he is thinking about me now. I just wish I knew what the reason is he did all that he did. I dont ever wana loose him and I think now its over for good. I miss him so badly and I just wana know why he left me the way he did. This hurts more than ever. And I have always felt that he was the one that I had ended up with him over all of our breakups because we belonged together. I thought that this last time with him had made him realize I would always be there in his life. And he left me saying he was not happy and things like that . Which I know he did not mean....This is so awful anyone out there with any advice please read the first post and give me your input..What should I expect. should I have hope or let it go.

[Miss Mojo]

hi sabrina,

 

i know it can be so painful when someone you love says hurtful things to you. i know right now you are hurting very much, but just give it a little more time and you will find this hurt turning into anger. once the anger sets in, you will find the circumstances of your break-up a lot easier to deal with.

 

you probably didn't expect him to say such hurtful things, and that could be part of the reason you are finding this so hard to deal with. some people have a knack for thinking, "stuff you and the horse you came in on", while others, like yourself, find yourself caught up in what happened.

 

whatever reasons are behind his hurtful words, no one can say. we can only hazard a guess, and even then we might be way off track. i do, however, know that sometimes people have such a hard time breaking up with someone. they do not want to hurt their partner, because they feel for them deeply, but for some reason they think their partner will get over them quicker if they can hate them. while it works for some, it doesn't work for others....and don't forget, some really awful things are said in fights sometimes. i know many people who have made some really cutting comments to people they care about during a fight, but didn't really mean it. i also know some people who have been too proud to make amends afterwards.

 

only your boyfriend knows why he said what he did. but honestly, you could drive yourself bonkas trying to analyse why he acted that way toward you. analysing is futile...it gets you no answers and you will only end up reading into things and seeing things that weren't really there.

 

you may not be physically in each others lives anymore, but you will always be there. you never forget the people you've had relationships with, and sometimes you never stop caring deeply for them. by the sounds of things, you two weren't really meant to be together if you fought so much. a couple may love each a lot, but it doesn't always mean they're meant to be together.

 

it seems you have spent a lot of your time telling yourself you were meant to be together forever. maybe now is the time to start telling yourself that it wasn't meant to be, and that there are bigger and better things waiting for you out there....i don't mean guys, i mean opportunities, and new friends perhaps.

 

what has happened to you is all part of the learning curve. you feel so emotionally out of whack, you can';t eat properly, you can't sleep properly and you want to cry at the drop of a hat. sure, it hurts like hell and is gut-wrenching but it happens to the best of us and we have no choice but to try to move on. just give yourself time to get over him and by all means, do your best to let it go. you can't hang on to something that isn't there. be kind to yourself and don't *ever* put yourself down for what happened.

 

best wishes