newbby Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 well i am not educated in hobbes or locke, but i do believe that all people are good within. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Time and again, I see people (here, talk shows, discussions in groups, etc) who seem unable to 'walk a mile' in others' shoes. People seem to look at a situation, decide how they'd feel or react in that situation, and then extrapolate their thoughts/feelings/abilities to the person in the situation and judge that person based upon their own personalities. Why is this? It could be the way each person is brought up? I was always raised to put others first, be aware of and considerate of other people's feelings. We are all unique, are we not? None of us can say that we are identical to anyone else, right? So how is it that people seem to think that 'if I think/do/believe X, then every other human thinks/does/believes X exactly the same way'? Yes, we all are unique and special in so many ways...Life experiences, background, upbringing, culture, all have a play in how empathic one is. I think some people EXPECT others just to know and agree with them, period. No if's, and's or but's...TO me, that's called EGO. (and maybe some control issues, but that's a different thread for another day.) Would it be fair or reasonable for Lance Armstrong to look at every one of us and say 'everybody on the earth could win the Tour de France multiple times if they just tried'? No, it wouldn't. Especially for me. I cannot ride a bike very well, so even if I trained and worked up the strength to become stronger and more physical, there's NO way I could win the Tour de France. Is it just or fair to expect someone with a mental disorder to have the same 'attitude' as someone who hasn't got one? Ofcourse it wouldn't be fair, nor would it be right. Why is it OK for one partner to demand that his or her feelings be respected but think it's ok to ignore the feelings of his or her partner? Ego, self importance, selfishness, spoiled...To me, that's stupid! Another S word... It ISN'T OK for one to think they are more deserving than their partner. Unfortunately, there are many who believe what you posted and live by it. Sad... Is it impossible to hope that people will try to see things from others' perspectives before they condemn? It's not impossible as long as there is hope! Having faith and seeing the good in people makes a difference. Link to post Share on other sites
sylviaguardian Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 P.S. If you want to find out how empathic you are, type "empathy quotient" into google. There is a test for it! Sylvia Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 i think that test is cr^p. this is not because of my score btw, i scored way above average. its because the questions are all related to how you see yourself, some real a**h***s see themselves as really caring etc, it is all a matter of self perception. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Outcast Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 because the questions are all related to how you see yourself Actually they're not. They're about reporting what you actually do, say, and feel. Now, if you're going to lie about whether you feel sad for people on the news who are suffering, you're a little loco since it's only you you're lying to Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 i am not talking about lying, i am talking about self delusion. maybe you are right and those people just lie to everyone else. i am still not sure about the test though. what about people who believe that they are not nice and so they over analyse their emotions to the point they are only thoughts? i suppose it is hard to have empathy when you are stuck in your mind and your own emotions and that would answer that one. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 i am not talking about lying, i am talking about self delusion. maybe you are right and those people just lie to everyone else. i am still not sure about the test though. what about people who believe that they are not nice and so they over analyse their emotions to the point they are only thoughts? i suppose it is hard to have empathy when you are stuck in your mind and your own emotions and that would answer that one. I wasn't too sure about the test either. Take comments like "I usually know when someone needs to talk." I know people who aren't very good at that at all, yet because they generally believe they are good at everything they'd tick "strongly agree". Others with high levels of empathy may set extremely high standards that they don't believe they reach - so they might just tick "slightly agree." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Outcast Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 I think the test is designed to mitigate for those deficits by asking similar questions many ways. Regardless, it's just an online test. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 yes lindya i think thats what i was trying to say. i wonder what the rollercoaster question was all about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Outcast Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 There must be some correlation between risk-taking and empathy. Or lack thereof. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 interesting... Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 There must be some correlation between risk-taking and empathy. Or lack thereof. If you look at the manual version of the test, some questions are not scored. They're just there for colour I suppose. Maybe this is one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 i wondered that or maybe it is to confuse those who wish to lie, so that they think that the obvious questions might be a trick. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 to confuse those who wish to lie, so that they think that the obvious questions might be a trick. Pretty sad though, when someone cheats in an test where the results are for themselves only... Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 self delusion knows no bounds Link to post Share on other sites
Apex Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I think the lack of empathy is another character defect just like the lack of a conscience. Time and again, I see people (here, talk shows, discussions in groups, etc) who seem unable to 'walk a mile' in others' shoes. People seem to look at a situation, decide how they'd feel or react in that situation, and then extrapolate their thoughts/feelings/abilities to the person in the situation and judge that person based upon their own personalities.You can approach a situation with emotion or objectivity. Some people come to this forum to play games or seek validation for their bad behavior. Probably my least favorite one is the damsel in distress. Say something she doesn’t like she will let out a shriek. Then a stupid gorilla is supposed to come by and beat you up. Would it be fair or reasonable for Lance Armstrong to look at every one of us and say 'everybody on the earth could win the Tour de France multiple times if they just tried'?The guy has a genetic and technological advantage over the other competitors. Why is it OK for one partner to demand that his or her feelings be respected but think it's ok to ignore the feelings of his or her partner?The double standard is alive and well in modern society. Is it impossible to hope that people will try to see things from others' perspectives before they condemn?In fact, some people see virtue in the condemnation of others. Let’s condemn some more Ku Klux Klan members and white supremacists. Do you want to condemn George W. Bush? Who here actually knows him personally and professionally? Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Do you want to condemn George W. Bush? Yes please Who here actually knows him personally and professionally? His actions affect me personally. Does that count? Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 do you personally know these "damsels in distress" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Outcast Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 Oh I feel sorry for Bush. He's way out of his league; the epitome of the Peter Principle writ large. He's a thick, foolish little man who doesn't realize what a buffoon he makes of himself. It's kind of like watching the one blind drunk guy at the party make a complete a$$ of himself thinking he's the life of the event. I pity him, really. Unfortunately, he's in a position to do great damage to the whole planet and so my pity is tempered with disgust and fury. But this is not a political thread, Apex, so if you want to laud Bush and the KKK, I'd be grateful if you'd start a new thread in the political forum. Maybe 'does anybody else have empathy for Bush' can be your topic. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 great post outcast Link to post Share on other sites
Apex Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Oh I feel sorry for Bush. He's way out of his league; the epitome of the Peter Principle writ large. He's a thick, foolish little man who doesn't realize what a buffoon he makes of himself. It's kind of like watching the one blind drunk guy at the party make a complete a$$ of himself thinking he's the life of the event.You don’t know him personally, and I’m sure you were influenced by people who don’t like him. A person of lesser intelligence would know that people who don’t like him will say unpleasant things about him. But this is not a political thread, Apex, so if you want to laud Bush and the KKK, I'd be grateful if you'd start a new thread in the political forum. Maybe 'does anybody else have empathy for Bush' can be your topic.That was about as funny as a load of gay jokes. Bush is a political figure, but he is still human. This idea may elude you, but if you concentrate hard enough, it might make sense. I used him as an example because too many people seem to delight in condemning him. The white supremacists condemn the “lesser races,” and I’m sure you condemn them. They are proud of what they do, and I’m sure you and your kind are proud of what you do. This is like two sides of the same coin. Where is this “empathy?” Link to post Share on other sites
Author Outcast Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 You don’t know him personally, and I’m sure you were influenced by people who don’t like him. I make my own assessments. The white supremacists condemn the “lesser races,” and I’m sure you condemn them. They are proud of what they do, and I’m sure you and your kind are proud of what you do. This is like two sides of the same coin. No it's not. Empathy does not consist in finding faux similarities and claiming they are reasons to find common ground. I am sorry for them (Bush and white supremacists both) because they lack intelligence. I understand people are born that way and can't help it, but when someone's lack of intelligence allows him to do bad things to others, then he has to be stopped. I understand that Bush's minions are greedy - greed for power, greed for money - and I also understand that to some extent, but again it doesn't mean it's acceptable to do. My preference would be to have every kid do psych tests during school so that problems would be diagnosed; it's not normal to think torturing or damaging others is ok to do. Hopefully treatment would remove the problem so that they could be unintelligent but not harmful to others. In essence, train someone to be empathic and you'll eliminate his ability to do damage. While I hate the things Bush and bigots do, I wouldn't kill or torture any of them, nor do I wish them harm. I just want them stopped. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I make my own assessments. :laugh: Notice how nimbly Outcast thumbs though the mental Thesaurus to avoid actually using the word 'judgment' to define his/her own human tendencies to do the same thing. Brilliant! (can I borrow that one?) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Outcast Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 Enigma, I was responding to I’m sure you were influenced by people who don’t like him The word 'judgmental' is as broad a brush as 'nice' and, unfortunately, wielded every bit as injudiciously. Link to post Share on other sites
Apex Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I make my own assessments.More like prejudice. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts