Why is it when relationships are in trouble that Talking about "US" is a no no?

[dontwanttoloosehim]

Caliguy- So there is no way he could even think of letting go of our problems. Until I give him the space and time to think?

As a guy do you think less talk in these hard times is better?

[CaliGuy]

Caliguy- So there is no way he could even think of letting go of our problems. Until I give him the space and time to think?

As a guy do you think less talk in these hard times is better?

 

An exerpt from "Love Must Be Tough."

 

When someone pulls away from you, saying they need their space, they are saying "I'm not sure about you anymore." The absolute worst thing you can do is cling to them for dear life. They want to know "How free am I to leave?" A good analogy for the spouse that wants to pull away is them feeling they are "in a cage." Any clinging, begging or otherwise hanging on for dear life further cages them in.

 

By saying to your spouse "I love you, I want you in my life, but if you choose not to be then I must let you go." Then DO IT. You must have the guts to not only say it, but MEAN IT and DO IT. Otherwise your words will mean nothing to him. Let them be. Let them search their own emotions to figure out if they really love you.

 

Let me repeat. The worst thing you can do is to cling on to them in desperation.

 

It shows the other person that you can not live without them and it makes them feel very uneasy and caged in.

 

When you let them go (and really give them their space) you free them up to reflect on the relationship. They realize they are free, that you don't need them and sometimes they come right back home.

 

But that's not the end of it. You must truly have your own life, your own friends and your own hobbies. You must love your spouse, but not make them your world. Do not idolize them or put them on a pedestel. Love them, surely, but do not suffocate them.

 

He wants to breathe. Let him breathe, let him out of the cage. If he comes home your relationship (if you take my advice) can continue and possibly blossom.

 

If you do not, I can almost guarantee you will lose him forever.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

Is it OK, for me to still live under the same roof. He says thats it is fine if I give him space and time for the "ice to melt".

Is that the same quality of Space? He also still takes me out to places when he is not working. He does little things to show he cares for me and hes awesome when we are not discussing the status of our relationship.

Guess I have to be patiient

[CaliGuy]

Is it OK, for me to still live under the same roof. He says thats it is fine if I give him space and time for the "ice to melt".

 

If he truly wants his space, you should give it to him. Find another place to live. Look at it this way, 'how on earth is he ever going to miss you if you never go away?'

 

I am not saying that in a negative context, but you really do need to be out of sight, out of mind for now.

 

Is that the same quality of Space? He also still takes me out to places when he is not working. He does little things to show he cares for me and hes awesome when we are not discussing the status of our relationship.

Guess I have to be patiient

 

I don't understand. If he wants his space he should keep his distance. I don't know if he can think clearly with you still spending time together. He really needs to miss you.

 

If it were me I'd tell him "I understand you need your space. I love you and want you in my life, but I don't need you. I'm going to stay somewhere else for the time being." and leave it at that.

 

No more sharing dinners or hanging out. He wants his space, I think you should give it to him and let him stew over his feelings without you being there to influence him.

 

Remember, it takes a lot of guts to do this. It's not for the faint of heart. If you decide to do this, whatever you do, do not backpedal. Stand your ground, stick to your guns and over time either he comes running back to you (hopefully a changed man) or you heal and get over him.

 

That's really the only two possible outcomes. But if you cling to him, continue to spend time with him, etc you are delaying what he needs: Space.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

Alright he said Its ok for us to do things together from time to time. But the space that he wants is no relationship talk. He just wants me to leave him alone like when hes watching tv or whatever just not suffocate him. We both live veryyyy far from our families so it would be ideal to stay in the same apartment for finacial reasons. So he said for now just let me be and leave me alone.

[CaliGuy]

Alright he said Its ok for us to do things together from time to time. But the space that he wants is no relationship talk. He just wants me to leave him alone like when hes watching tv or whatever just not suffocate him. We both live veryyyy far from our families so it would be ideal to stay in the same apartment for finacial reasons. So he said for now just let me be and leave me alone.

 

Then if that is what he wants you need to be determined not to talk about it. Don't bring it up. But do give him more space. Don't hang out as much, find friends to hang out with and spend as much time apart as you can.

 

If he is your life then that's a sign that perhaps you need to start branching out. Nobody wants the pressure of being the center of someone else's world.

[Mz. Pixie]

He has immigration issues Cali- which is another reason he wants to live under the same roof. It benefits him.

[rble618740]

I have been where you are in terms of having a husband who doesn't want to talk about a marriage that's going south. My husband and I separated last year, and for 2 1/2 months he came around, called, hugged and kissed me (though I wouldn't allow intimacy while we were separated), told me that he loved me, etc. but he would NOT talk about resolving our separation (either through divorce or reconciliation).

 

At the risk of getting stoned by the men on this site, I will tell you what has helped us immensely. Though my husband is VERY intelligent, I think men on the whole are less verbal than women. So, my husband felt a little intimidated by my constant barrage of words. He likes to stew on things, think about them in his own mind, analyze everything, etc. So...when I demanded that we talk about something, he felt defensive. He felt caught off guard, unprepared for a verbal confrontation with me (even though I might not have seen my approach as confrontational). I have had to change the way I "do business" with him, to some extent. The good news - my change in approach has REALLY had a significant positive impact on our marriage. He moved back in a little over a year ago, and things have been incredible. I'm not rubbing it in, but I figured I'd share with you what has worked for us.

 

1. If I have something to discuss with my husband that might emotionally charged, I sit on it for 24 hours. I find that when I come at my husband as a huge ball of emotions, he doesn't know what to do with me. He is DEFINITELY more receptive to what I have to say when I can say it calmly and logically. As an aside, we've avoided several fights with this technique because - sometimes after 24 hours - I realize I overreacted and don't really care that much today about what I was willing to fight over yesterday.

 

2. After I have sat on it for 24 hours, I tell him I need to talk to him about X. Then I ask him when we can talk. This lets him know that I want to discuss X, but it prevents him from feeling "put on the spot." It also avoids me demanding a conversation when he has some other pressure which I may not know about (work that needs to be done, etc.).

 

3. I also tell him about how much time I think I need to say what I have to say. A man might be reluctant to agree to what he thinks might be a 2 hour conversation. If you say, I just need about 20 minutes to talk to you about this - he will be more likely to agree. And MOST importantly...stick to it. Don't let the discussion drag on and on. Also...stick to the topic. Bringing up every issue that your husband thought had been left in the past is a sure way to discourage fruitful discussion.

 

4. Then...let it go. Once you have said your piece, even if he doesn't agree with you, just let it go. When it's all said and done with, you can't control him. You can't make him agree, sympathize, respect, dote over, or love you. You can only draw boundaries, decide what you will do if they aren't honored, and stick to that decision

[CaliGuy]

He has immigration issues Cali- which is another reason he wants to live under the same roof. It benefits him.

 

Yikes. Could this possibly be a union of convenience?!

[CaliGuy]

1. If I have something to discuss with my husband that might emotionally charged, I sit on it for 24 hours. I find that when I come at my husband as a huge ball of emotions, he doesn't know what to do with me. He is DEFINITELY more receptive to what I have to say when I can say it calmly and logically. As an aside, we've avoided several fights with this technique because - sometimes after 24 hours - I realize I overreacted and don't really care that much today about what I was willing to fight over yesterday.

 

Great advice for anyone in a relationship. I used to be like you. I'd be charged, emotional and I'd blabber non-stop trying to hammer my point home. I've learned to sit on things as well and not rush into a discussion. The ex hated that I didn't stew on things for so long but had I stewed on them for 24 hours, I might not have felt the same way.

 

When I booted the ex out of the house, I made sure I calmed myself down and had my points in order. I was calm, rational and firm with her. Under no circumstances was I going to be disrespected like that. And I held true to my repercussions. She left on Friday AM and now has to live with her mom. She'll get to think about this for a long time.

 

2. After I have sat on it for 24 hours, I tell him I need to talk to him about X. Then I ask him when we can talk. This lets him know that I want to discuss X, but it prevents him from feeling "put on the spot." It also avoids me demanding a conversation when he has some other pressure which I may not know about (work that needs to be done, etc.).

 

Excellent!

 

3. I also tell him about how much time I think I need to say what I have to say. A man might be reluctant to agree to what he thinks might be a 2 hour conversation. If you say, I just need about 20 minutes to talk to you about this - he will be more likely to agree. And MOST importantly...stick to it. Don't let the discussion drag on and on. Also...stick to the topic. Bringing up every issue that your husband thought had been left in the past is a sure way to discourage fruitful discussion.

 

Again, great advice.

 

4. Then...let it go. Once you have said your piece, even if he doesn't agree with you, just let it go. When it's all said and done with, you can't control him. You can't make him agree, sympathize, respect, dote over, or love you. You can only draw boundaries, decide what you will do if they aren't honored, and stick to that decision

 

This is something I need work on a lot. I'm so opinionated that when I do have a disagreement, I will continue to hammer my point even when it's been clearly made.

 

Also, boundaries are very important. Once a SO figures out they can cross them, all respect is lost.

[Treasa]

don'twanttolosehim,

 

I think the others have given you great replies. Instead of arguing, take it to heart. Most of the others are speaking from personal experience.

 

When something is bothering a man (although I've noticed that I've become like this as well over the past year) they want to be alone and just work on other things. Nagging is bad. Questions are bad. Clinging and desperation are bad.

 

When my boyfriend pulls away on occasion (which is really rare nowadays), I let him. In fact, I pull away too. And I make sure he knows that I won't be at home pining for him. I let him know that I'm happy, and that I'll go out and do things that make me happy. I'm there for him, but I won't put my life on hold until he stops sulking.

 

Have you ever been with a man who's really desperate to be with a certain girl? Or is too pushy and does too much for her? Have you ever noticed how much that behavior turns you off? It's the same thing for men. All of us want someone who's happy, has something going on in their own life, someone's who's confident and just willing to go with the flow.

 

So your honey may not be able to leave, supposedly. That doesn't mean YOU have to be stuck around the house. Find some external hobbies. Go to the Y and take a belly dancing class. Go to the park and practice photography. Find something to focus on BESIDES HIM.

 

Hehe, I just realized the pun of those last two sentences.

 

Anyway, go to it. The longer you show him that he has you, the longer he'll continue to make you wait for love and affection. If you truly want him back, pull back NOW.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

Its so Hard Because He is not willing to work on the relationship. The thing with my husband is that he was my first everything , I was never in another realtionship before. I reallly want things to work out. This morning he proceeds to tell me that he hates me, and wants me to disappear.

I dont know how someone you have known for years would just turn the back on you. He did not say that out of nowwhere its just that I was asking him questions he did not want to answer.

He tells me that I am not his wife until he wants me to be his wife.

I want him to understand that I really care about him and want to be with him but his is very unresponsive. I am loosing hope.

[Dumbass]

Hey-

 

I just had a really great resolution to a situation I'm in, and I owe SO much thanks to all of you....

 

But I have a question, just a sorta hypothetical one, since I don't believe I'll be putting it into practical use with this relationship I spoke of before...

 

In talking about "it", sometimes some misunderstandings and misinterpretations can be cleared up.

 

In other words, if 2 people *don't* talk about it and clear things up, then decisions can be made based on things that aren't even true!

 

Now, my ex decided that she'd just drop me and take 100 steps back and require that I be her friend....

 

In thinking about it, and reading some of the threads, it does seem that perhaps she got scared by some of my words....I only ever meant to tell her that she was very special to me, and that I would not take her for granted. I would not "shop around" for better girls, and that I would keep her for as long as she wanted to be kept....

 

I didn't exactly say it that way, because things were said in half-jest during other conversations, and maybe she thought it was too heavy or something..

 

If she doesn't wanna talk about "it", then how can she ever learn that perhaps what scared her, wasn't as heavy as she may have taken it to be?

 

Or is it just too late?

 

I hear what youre all saying about pressure and suffocating....So when you see that a really drastic decision has been made, but its been made based on what you feel is misinterpreted information, what do ya do, especially when the girl gets all resistant to talking about "us"?

 

Could it be brought up as just something for her to reflect on, without discussion? Should I use that old "I need to tell you something and it will only take about 10 minutes"?

 

Thanks, all

[CaliGuy]

Hey-

 

I just had a really great resolution to a situation I'm in, and I owe SO much thanks to all of you....

 

But I have a question, just a sorta hypothetical one, since I don't believe I'll be putting it into practical use with this relationship I spoke of before...

 

In talking about "it", sometimes some misunderstandings and misinterpretations can be cleared up.

 

In other words, if 2 people *don't* talk about it and clear things up, then decisions can be made based on things that aren't even true!

 

Word of advice. It's never the person's job you are speaking towards to properly interpret what you mean. If they do not understand (or you think they don't), reformulate your words in a way they will not misinterpret what you mean.

 

Does that make sense? When someone isn't responding to your statements in the way you think they should, perhaps take a second to say "I'm not sure this is coming across the way I mean it, let me say it this way...'

 

A little extra effort to communicate will go a long way towards avoiding unfortunate exchanges.

 

Now, my ex decided that she'd just drop me and take 100 steps back and require that I be her friend....

 

You are not required to be her friend. If you want something from the relationship and she doesn't, it's perfectly within your right to say "That's not what I want. If we can't be together I certainly am not going to settle for being friends."

 

In thinking about it, and reading some of the threads, it does seem that perhaps she got scared by some of my words....I only ever meant to tell her that she was very special to me, and that I would not take her for granted. I would not "shop around" for better girls, and that I would keep her for as long as she wanted to be kept....

 

What exactly did you say to her?

What does she want?

 

If she just wants to be friends and you're willing to "settle" for that, then by all means, do so. With my ex, she wants to remain friends. I don't want to settle for 'crumbs of her attention' so I'm on full bore NC. She'll write me, she'll wonder why I don't reply. It's inevitable. And unless I hear what I want to hear ("I messed up, I'm sorry, I love you and want to try again.") then anything else she says to me I will not be listening.

 

I didn't exactly say it that way, because things were said in half-jest during other conversations, and maybe she thought it was too heavy or something..

 

Ask her if she understood you, then restate your meaning.

 

If she doesn't wanna talk about "it", then how can she ever learn that perhaps what scared her, wasn't as heavy as she may have taken it to be?

 

Just write her a note and tell her. Make sure you state it in a way that is easily understood.

 

Or is it just too late?

 

That completely depends on her and what you say. If she accepts it, then perhaps not. If she doesn't, then my suggestion is to go NC and let her stew on what she wants to do. If they really are sorry and really want you back, they will make it well aware to you.

 

I hear what youre all saying about pressure and suffocating....So when you see that a really drastic decision has been made, but its been made based on what you feel is misinterpreted information, what do ya do, especially when the girl gets all resistant to talking about "us"?

 

When they are resistant to talk about 'us' then that's probably a sign she isn't as in to you are you are to her. Send her an email, clarify what you meant and then say nothing. Give her a couple of weeks to sit on it and think. Don't email, call, text or otherwise make any attempt to contact her. She needs time to think. Women tend to take longer than men to make a decision because they think things out a little better than we do.

 

Could it be brought up as just something for her to reflect on, without discussion? Should I use that old "I need to tell you something and it will only take about 10 minutes"?

 

Not sure how your mind works, but when I write I think much better about what I want to say and there's really no misinterpretation of the words. Take some time to write out what you want to say. If you feel you need to call her, do so. I do suggest an email as there is no pressure for her to answer you right away.

 

Realize if you do talk to her, you may set her back even further if she really doesn't want to talk. That's another reason for an email.

 

You could say something like:

 

"Dear ******

 

I just wanted to drop you a quick note. I've been thinking about what happened and perhaps my point didn't come across the way I meant it. Here's what I meant.

 

(state your case)

 

Hopefully this clears the air. If you still feel the same way then that's fine, I respect your decision and I have no choice but to let you go.

 

Signed,

 

You

-----------------------

 

This is just an example. I wouldn't use it to send to her. Use your own words. Say what you wanted to say. But, don't sit around expecting an immediate response or reconcilliation. It's going to take her some time to think and you need to give her that space to do so.

 

After you send the letter, go into NC mode and keep it that way until you hear from her. If you like what she has to say, then take it slow. If not, then stick with NC and start healing yourself.

 

Trust me, from one guy who's beat his head up against the wall trying to win the heart of a woman that just wans't in to me, you will just delay the healing process if you cling on to hope. Instead, be confident in who you are, that there are other women out there that would love to date you, because there are. You just have to find them.

[Dumbass]

See the problem is that she made a decision without any communication about whatever it was that caused it....

 

What I'd said were two possible things...During the kissy-rapture that both of us were feeling, you know, the embrace, the eye-lock, the bristling, she had asked me that I never dump her and just vanish, and I said something like "I'm looking to build something with someone...I won't run off...Hey, if everything goes well, maybe I'll be putting a ring on your finger someday"...Just meaning that I wasn't shopping around, and that she had my heart...yeah ok that was dumb...(great life where honesty gets ya screwed...)....

 

The other thing was that since she lived in another state, and was only in town for that month, I wanted her to know that I would most certainly move to her state to be with her....I'm a traveler, and this is pretty normal for me anyway...Plus, I've wanted to get out of this state anyway...

She had said that she didn't want me to move there for her, but because I wanted to move there...I told her it was one in the same, and that what was important was that I recognize that she's really special, that I wouldn't find such a person in a long time, if at all, and so I wanted to be with her, and that if she lived in the worst place in the world, I'd still be happy there with her....

 

 

Its sad that she just made her decision and just closed all the doors to it...

 

Would writing her an e-mail just clearing the air about this, and telling her to only read it when she was ready, but I was gonna cut contact so I could move on, and needed to get it off my chest....And if when she read it, decided that she didn't want me to move on, that she might reconsider based on the new info, she should let me know...Otherwise, I gotta say goodbye...

 

I know it's not too polished, but what about that method of "getting this off my chest"? I really do think it's tragic that it happened, crazy as she may be, and really would just hate to know it crashed and burned because she thought i wanted to marry her tomorrow or something...

 

I'm a bit poetic when my heart surges...I really didn't mean anything so heavy by what i said....

[CaliGuy]

See the problem is that she made a decision without any communication about whatever it was that caused it....

 

She's like my ex. She doesn't know why she feels that way, she just does. You have to accept that. It sucks, but you must.

 

Its sad that she just made her decision and just closed all the doors to it...

 

Keyword: HER decision. You don't have to like it and you can be angry or sad about it but is indeed the decision she made. You can deny it or refuse to accept it, but it will only force you to be more irrational with your decision making. Unfortunately times like these are when you should be listening to your head and not your heart.

 

Would writing her an e-mail just clearing the air about this, and telling her to only read it when she was ready, but I was gonna cut contact so I could move on, and needed to get it off my chest....And if when she read it, decided that she didn't want me to move on, that she might reconsider based on the new info, she should let me know...Otherwise, I gotta say goodbye...

 

Nope. You're still trying to force an answer from her and I can tell you that you will end up getting an answer you don't like. Please take my suggestion and if you truly believe it, write it. You need to let her out of the cage. That's the only chance you will ever have in the future. If you try and box her in, force an answer out of her or otherwise try and make her change her mind, the results will be less than satisfactory.

 

I know it's not too polished, but what about that method of "getting this off my chest"? I really do think it's tragic that it happened, crazy as she may be, and really would just hate to know it crashed and burned because she thought i wanted to marry her tomorrow or something...

 

Here's how to get it off your chest:

 

"I'm sorry you feel this way about us. I still love you but if you don't want to be with me I respect your decision and I will let you go."

 

That's it. Short and simple. Go to no contact. IF she wants you back, she will make it very clear. If not, if you stick to NC, you will heal faster and be ready for someone else when the time comes.

 

I'm a bit poetic when my heart surges...I really didn't mean anything so heavy by what i said....

 

Stop being mushy with her. She isn't receptive to it right now. Women want a man to be a man with them. Someone strong, aloof, confident and happy. I like writing too when I am sad, but really, I wouldn't show them to her or try and win her heart with romance. She isn't looking for that right now.

 

Flex your confidence and independence. Send her a short note saying you love her and you accept her decision. Then cut off contact.

 

If there is to be a second chance you must focus on improving yourself where you can. Society today has made girly men of us (no offense meant) and we need to embrace masculinity. Masculine men don't beg or grovel to get someone back. They're confident they will find someone else and shrug her off. Hey don't get me wrong, I love my ex too but she doesn't want me. What benefit does it serve me to hang around where I am not wanted? I could be investing my time in someone more deserving.

 

And that's exactly what I am doing.

[Dumbass]

Yeah, no I haven't been "mushy" with her since like 4 or 5 days after I saw the writing on the wall...Been pretty detached, not calling or anything...I talk to her about once every day or two, but only cos she calls me...

 

One thing I noticed you said though:

Word of advice. It's never the person's job you are speaking towards to properly interpret what you mean. If they do not understand (or you think they don't), reformulate your words in a way they will not misinterpret what you mean.

 

Does that make sense? When someone isn't responding to your statements in the way you think they should, perhaps take a second to say "I'm not sure this is coming across the way I mean it, let me say it this way...'

 

A little extra effort to communicate will go a long way towards avoiding unfortunate exchanges.

-----

 

That's the bit that I'm lamenting...I couldn't put my finger on any particular thing that happened, besides the argument about staying the night with that dude, which only turned hostile after she lashed out once I stated my feelings....(she called later and apologized for getting so angry)...But, at the time of the things, there was no indication that these were such serious things, i.e. perhaps the intensity of it all, or the argument and her position on whether I had good reason to have felt weird about that or not etc...I'm just trying to suss out what it coulda been, and I guess being sad that we couldn't have just communicated, sorted it out, and moved on together...We had too many good things goin to not put in that small effort...I mean, if she says she loves me, shouldn't she be able to talk to me?

 

Yeah, I know...I'm still bein a retard about all this..so I'm fully expecting a much deserved ass-whuppin from CaliGuy....Not the face, man....not the face....

 

Seriously, though, CD, I may be a thick-head and all, but I do hear ya loud and clear, and am almost embarrased to stand before you, after all you've said regarding my situation, still a bit facked up from this all.... But I am actually leaps and bounds better than even yesterday....So, thanks. You're like the Yoda of Luuuv.....

[CaliGuy]

That's the bit that I'm lamenting...I couldn't put my finger on any particular thing that happened, besides the argument about staying the night with that dude, which only turned hostile after she lashed out once I stated my feelings....(she called later and apologized for getting so angry)...But, at the time of the things, there was no indication that these were such serious things, i.e. perhaps the intensity of it all, or the argument and her position on whether I had good reason to have felt weird about that or not etc...I'm just trying to suss out what it coulda been, and I guess being sad that we couldn't have just communicated, sorted it out, and moved on together...We had too many good things goin to not put in that small effort...I mean, if she says she loves me, shouldn't she be able to talk to me?

 

Yeah, I know...I'm still bein a retard about all this..so I'm fully expecting a much deserved ass-whuppin from CaliGuy....Not the face, man....not the face....

 

Seriously, though, CD, I may be a thick-head and all, but I do hear ya loud and clear, and am almost embarrased to stand before you, after all you've said regarding my situation, still a bit facked up from this all.... But I am actually leaps and bounds better than even yesterday....So, thanks. You're like the Yoda of Luuuv.....

 

Brother, I'm just here to help. Follow the advice I have given you if believe I am on target. I have nothing to gain or lose if you take it other than the satisfaction of knowing I have helped someone else out.

 

Give her the space she needs. Work on improving yourself where you can. If she loves you and you give her space, she may come around. But only after some time has passed and you've become independent of her.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

Okay......

he is now going out with the guys

meeting girls in bars

going out to strip clubs with the guys

he may be even reading this post who knows

 

Great.....

Now, I am the BIG "L"

Pathetic as It can be

Just waiting for him to see I AM A MUCH happier person and I have changed

I was depressed I am no longer thattt way I know what I want.......

 

Its a shame...........

I am willing to give this guy heaven if he just gives me one more chance

but will I tell him that NOOOOOOO why because we are not suppose to be talking about the "r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p"

 

I know hes confused and **** but i mean take small steps with me I am trying.. but noooooooooo he has to go crazy ....

 

 

 

WTF- Calling all MEN out there... help how should i $%^&*() DEAL?

Is this a guy thing- confusion leads to doing all the wrong things from a-z?

[Mz. Pixie]

If a man is truly in love with a woman, there is no confusion about "what he wants" especially after he's been married.

 

I'm not sure why you'd want "one more chance". He obviously thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I think you need to let him go.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

It is such a shame. He made it seem it was all about me. It was not he just wanted his freedom and S-O-O-N he'll realize that that grass is not always greener on the other side and turn around and Ill be G-O-N-E.

HE is really missing out on a great person who loves him from the heart but its his choice . I will not feel guilty about all this because I know i would have gave it 110% and take him to paradise ... regardless

he wants his freedom ... then let it be...

I think i need to start disconnecting...

If it were meant to be hell come back to me.........

I have a good heart I will never hurt him....

I'll just give him what he wants....

[Mz. Pixie]

I'm sorry this is happening to you.....

 

Don't you think you deserve more than the scraps from his table?? Meaning, don't you deserve to be with someone who will love you with their whole heart, want to be with you, and help you fufill some of your dreams??

[Becoming]

It is such a shame. He made it seem it was all about me. It was not he just wanted his freedom and S-O-O-N he'll realize that that grass is not always greener on the other side and turn around and Ill be G-O-N-E.

HE is really missing out on a great person who loves him from the heart but its his choice . I will not feel guilty about all this because I know i would have gave it 110% and take him to paradise ... regardless

he wants his freedom ... then let it be...

I think i need to start disconnecting...

If it were meant to be hell come back to me.........

I have a good heart I will never hurt him....

I'll just give him what he wants....

 

 

There ya go! It's about time you got to this. You go, girl! And don't look back.

 

Figure out what you want (no, not him!), what makes you feel good and doesn't, what you will and will not accept, and go LIVE for YOU!

 

Best wishes. There'll be tough times ahead. But you're up for the challenge.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

If it were truly meant to be he'll come back to me.

I will not be the one who wont take him back..

I would and I will try and make things better with him giving his share

I feel as though I am in a one person relationship

When he is ready to sail with me I am ready to give him the world

Life is tough I never really figured it out until now

W-O-W Guess I am growing up

I am only 22 Hopefully this will make me a stronger person

Sorry Ms.Pixie for always arguing with your suggestions your right I was in denial

You all are such great ppl here thank you so much

Again if he wants me he knows where to find me?

Am I right or what?

[CaliGuy]

Again if he wants me he knows where to find me?

 

They always know how to find you when they want to.