Why is it when relationships are in trouble that Talking about "US" is a no no?

[dgiirl]

dontwant, i'm happy for you. You're starting to come out of the fog. Dont worry if you relapse, i did for months on end. But realize you've been VERY clear about what you want with your ex. He KNOWS what you want. You dont need to keep reminding him. Now's the time to change the focus back onto yourself. Start focusing on all the other areas of your life besides your romantic partnerships. Start getting into hobbies or school or something/anything.

[Outcast]

I don't agree with a lot of the advice you've gotten, with the exception of the great post from rble618740.

 

Your problem is the way you acted after you married him. You did the very thing men fear when they marry - turned into a bXtch. By your own admission, you were awful to live with.

 

Now you expect him to just forget everything you did to him and fall in love with you. Life doesn't work like that. It's as though you ran over him with a truck seventeen times, broke all his bones, and are now saying 'just forget all your broken bones and love me because I'm not driving the truck anymore". The damage is done and cannot be repaired.

 

I doubt he has another girl. The problem is that you killed his love for you by treating him so badly and you killed it finally. Repenting after the deed is done doesn't cut it. It's too late.

 

So what you do is learn from this situation and, if you ever marry again, treat that man as well as you did when you were courting or be prepared for the exact same outcome.

[dontwanttoloosehim]

OUTCAST-

I really did not treat him that bad. I know it sounded as if. But-- I nagged a lot and complained a lot. I did take care of him though cook clean etc. I was just stressed and vented a lot to him. I just never gave him peace.

Now I am trying to give him peace and love ... hoping he will chnage his mind,

[dontwanttoloosehim]

He has mentioned to me that for right now he made up his mind.

He said that If he sees a consistent change ( like myself being happier) that it would help.

And that he might chnage his mind.

Thats what second chances are for... we will have a stronger relationship if we get back....

[dontwanttoloosehim]

Justify the CANNOT be repaired part. I appreciate your honesty but the man told him he is willing to make it work if I change.