wife cheated.i can't stop crying.i tried to commit suicide

[chubaka]

i'm 34, she 29. we've been married for 5 years and known each other for almost 11. anyway, as a wedding photographer, i went to a client to pick something up. she had left in the evening after work to her mom's and said she's going to do some puzzles. on the way back i said i would jump back and see, since i had suspected something was awkward. she wasn't there. i went in and called her: "where are you?" she said "at my mom's." i told her i was there and asked if she's cheating...nothing...i told her she could tell me in my face...

anyway i found out from then, and it was crystal clear. i went home with this extreme pain. i wanted to die...

i went home and fellt like sh*t. i was going to the bathroom non stop. i didn't know what to do. i was so mad, depressed, hurt.

this happeneed at 8:30pm she came home only at 12pm. i didn't let her in and told her to go away...she went...

 

throught the night i could not sleep, i had this burning sensation...even now. iwent to the emergency room. talked to a psychiatrist. got an I.V. of saline and some relaxing junk. didn't work. they gave me double the dose-still no good. i'm lost, confused, and in extreme pain! i threw up like crazy. this is the next day...

 

find out it's been for a year now. she's not sorry for doing it. she didn't want to hurt me...AAAAARARRRRGGGG!!!!

i want to commit suicide .... thought about ODing on advil, that's suffering. thought about slashing wrists, to painful. i wish i had a gun....i truly truly want to kill myself. i'm worth dead then alive....very very depressed...this is it...

[westernxer]

A poor excuse to commit suicide, if you ask me.

 

Get a grip on yourself before you do something stupid.

[lilmoma1973]

A poor excuse to commit suicide, if you ask me.

 

Get a grip on yourself before you do something stupid.

 

Couldn't have said it better Westerner!!!

[submart]

I'm so sorry man!!

 

What your wife did was EXTREMELY wrong, and at this point you are absorbing all of the shock. Take some time just to get it all out. Cry, go to the gym and beat the hell out of punching bag, write a note about how pissed you are, etc.

 

My advice is to see a social worker or clinical psychologist alone to vent out all this. It really does help. There are medications available to help with depression that are highly effective with low side affects. Ask your doctor about them. Don't wait, call first thing tomorrow.

 

You can always vent here about your feelings, but please get them out.

 

Sometimes all you feel is hopelessness, but this feeling WILL change within time. Trust me. Just focus on you right now, and taking care of your needs. Get out of town, stay with a friend, etc.

 

You are in my thoughts. Keep us posted.

[InTheMachine]

That sucks. Sucks hard. I've been there, and years and years later I still remember just how sharp that pain was.

 

But you know what? Now, goin on 15 years later, I couldn't care less if that stupid woman I considered suicide over, that woman I wept for, that woman I bled for, just went and crawled under a bus and died.

 

When I do think about her, its to chuckle at the fact that karma is a bitch. She left me for the other guy. He went bankrupt then went to prison, then when he got out he knocked up not one but two chicks. They live two towns over now, in a trailer park, with the two kids that ARENT EVEN HERS.

 

Me? 15 years later I look about ten years younger than she does, my wife (crazy as she is at the moment) is about a thousand times better than she could have ever been, and Ive got two great kids. And not to brag, but I've got more money in my wallet than that evil hobag will see for the rest of her life.

 

So what's my point? Just this -- DONT kill yourself. Dump the evil woman, and go live a great life. There is no revenge on Earth as sweet as living well (and if your feeling petty, its also fun to watch the one who hurt you turning into a bum while you succeed!)!

 

It may not feel like it, but your pain will fade. She'll get exactly what she deserves. That evil chick who did the same to me did me a HUGE favor years ago. Maybe itll be the same with you.

 

If you kill yourself, youll never know. She aint worth it, man. I mean, she REALLY aint worth it.

[InTheMachine]

I just read your post again, more carefully.

 

So let me summarize:

 

You're considering letting this woman who stomped on your heart and humiliated you .... steal you LIFE from you now?

 

No. No. Call a lawyer. Tomorrow. Hopefully you don't live in a no-fault divorce state. Adultery is grounds for divorce, and with luck you can not only dump her, take half her stuff, and get some money out of the deal.

 

Tell everyone. Publish it on the net. By name. Make sure her friends and family know what she did.

 

Then forget about her and go live an awesome life. Please. Don't let her destroy you.

 

Hey, any chance you or the other guy are in the military? Adultery is illegal in the military. Just a thought.

 

Only thing that's truly bad is if you have kids. I hope she's not that evil.

 

Sorry to ramble, man. So much for summarizing. I just know where you're at. I absolutely promise that this pain will fade. It will take time. Months, maybe years. But someday you'll wonder why you cared about the dumb woman.

 

And she will get exactly what she deserves. Karma works.

[feelinghurt]

I don't know what kind of advice to give it to you but be strong. I always thought men can take thing little easier then women but I guess I'm wrong. My husband is a military jerk and now I won't let him come back home yet just because after he came back from a short deployment he changed on me told me he wasn't love me and want to be with me anymore marriage life isn't for him and such yes I felt the chill ran down through my spin and sick to my stomach. I couldn't eat or sleep, I couldn't study or took test. I wasn't focus on my job either but my supervisor understood because he knew what happened. I didn't want to come back to an empty home. You know the feelings. That is hurt me more then anything but he isn't cheating not that I know off. But please be strong and take care of yourself, I wish I have a husband who loves me as much as you love your wife. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't kill myself over that evil woman, she ain't worth it but of course you can hurt all you want, cry your eyes out, scream if you want, or don't forget to talk to the one that care about you. They can be your parents, sisters, brothers, friends, co-workers, anyone and get all the advice as much as possible. It'll make you feel better about yourself. Please don't kill yourself over this woman, it's her lost not yours.

[phrekmon]

I too thought about taking my life not 19 days ago, My wife left me for another man. I see him ,my wife, my step daughter all driving around in my car that I built. Karma if you call it that does work, you my not see it but what goes around comes around. I know you feel like crap and you feel you are helpless to do anything, Right ? well the one thing you can do is take care of yourself !! Talk, write, type what ever you have to, to get it out .

Alot of us have gone through Exactly what you are right now, and we all say it's goning to get better because it is !!

I'm not going to kid you, there is much more pain to come BUT your going through the worst right now, it does ease up and your head will clear. Give your self a date to make it to (1 day, 5 days, 10 days) before you do something crazy. Suicide is not something you can take back. Hang in there, we all care ! let us know how your doing. Dennis

[scobro]

If your going to kill anyone you should kill her!!!

I am being sarcastic of course but don't let her actions effect your life literally in your case.What she did is pathetic and she is the one who has issues.It sucks right now but don't do anything foolish.Get a grip on the situation and be a man not a mouse, this sounds like an insult but you need to be strong ,f@#4k her,let some other guy deal with her ,you are done ,you should feel liberated to be rid of such a toxic person in your life.

[mental_traveller]

 

Get a grip on yourself before you do something stupid.

 

Not the best advice to give to someone feeling suicidal.

 

To the original poster - get straight to a trained expert in dealing with depressive/suicidal thoughts; also, get in touch with close friends and family and ask for their support. Everything will get better in future, but right now it's best to focus on keeping control of your pain & black thoughts. If you feel the urge to do something drastic, put it off for a month and think about it, don't do anything on the spur of the moment.

[Art_Critic]

Aren't you basically telling him to get a grip ? the same advice that Westernxer gave.

 

Not the best advice to give to someone feeling suicidal.

 

To the original poster - get straight to a trained expert in dealing with depressive/suicidal thoughts; also, get in touch with close friends and family and ask for their support. Everything will get better in future, but right now it's best to focus on keeping control of your pain & black thoughts. If you feel the urge to do something drastic, put it off for a month and think about it, don't do anything on the spur of the moment.

[whichwayisup]

That's awful what she did to you and because of the pain she inflicted on you, ofcourse you're not in a good frame of mind. Offing yourself isn't a good thing! It's so final!

 

For your own benefit, please find a therapist to help you cope with this. Don't go at this alone.

 

If you're still reading, post so we know you're okay.

[westernxer]

Not the best advice to give to someone feeling suicidal.

 

He needs a kick in the ass, and I have no problem giving it, because he's acting like a little girl.

 

He'll thank me later, if he's not dead already.

[justfoundout2]

Chubaka,

 

I found out that my wife was doing somebody else and in love w/ him for the past 6-8 months... I just found this out two weeks ago.

 

You are going to be in pain. I am still in much pain today, and I have resolved to divorce my wife, it gives me a little solace...but not much. It gives me some satisfaction to know that I'll be moving on and forward w/ a new and hopefully better life.

 

I suggest you find a supportive group of people (online, friends, or family) to help you. A counselor should be able to give you tools to help deal w/ what you're going through and to help you w/ relationships in the future.

 

I know that words on a screen don't provide much comfort when you're down (and you'll be up and down quite frequently in the beginning) but take comfort in the fact that you're not alone and there are people out here who will support you and you'll be able to support them.