Am i really to late?

[Whynot]

Me and my wife seperated a month ago and i moved out last week. First off there was never any cheating by either one of us it was never a issue. What happened is after a time i lost sight of what she ment to me and i got addicted to the computer. We had a happy beginning, We had a dream come true beginning. When i met her she had 2 kids alrdy and had never been married before. They were still young one a baby and one almost 2. They never knew there dad. I thought about if i wanted to get involved with this situation or not but i fell so inlove with her that i didnt care what layed ahead. I fell inlove with them and took them as my own and as far as they knew i was there dad. Our relationship was the best thing i had ever been involved in the best thing she had ever been involved in. I treated her like my queen becouse she was. We ended up married 3 years later with our son on his way. Then the problems started i lost my job and she was the only one working i fell into a depresion like i was worthless. I got addicted to going on the computer and would choose it over her more often then naught. She would cry becouse she went to bed by herself and i didnt seem to care. I know how i felt about her but it was blocked for some reason. Then a month ago we got into a fight were things were said that shouldnt of. Thats when she told that she relized back in july that she wasnt inlove with me anymore thats why she always started going out all the time. I noticed and started getting off the computer when she was around and argued with her to stay home and spend time with me. But then the fight and i was to late. Now she talkes to me like we have never been together for 6 years like she never loved me. Over the past month i have been doing nothing but trying to show her i love her and that im srry for everything i have done. But she told me it was to late that she wanted a seperation to see if she could miss me. I still didnt stop trying to talk to her i didnt give her the space she needed. She told me i was pushing her away more and more everyday i talked about it but it hurt so much from having her hug me and tell me she loves me to her not even wanting me to hold her hand and not hearing i love you the next that i couldnt stop talking to her about it. So finally she told me that she has had enough and didnt want to be together anymore at all that i pushed her away to much. So i left thinking that that would make things alittle better. But it didnt it went the wrong way. She went from filing for a seperation to filing for a divorce from saying there may be a chance one day to there is no chance that she doesnt want it anymore. There is a co-worker that tried to be with her before but she told him that she was in a relationship. But now hes the one comin by the house to give her money or spend time with her. I asked her how she could be with someone so fast after i leave and she says shes not that hes just a friend. But give me a break why wasnt he a friend when i was around. It hurts so bad that she is giving the love that i once had from her to someone else. I went there on saturday to get some more stuff and she has totally wiped the place clean of me from the family portait to the concert tickets in the mirror. How did i push her away more by just telling her i love her and trying to tell her how sorry i am and know i did wrong and just wanted to fix it. Have i really pushed her away for good or is she just mad right now. She told me to get my life together and ask for a chance in a year but how can i sit and see if she finds someone else or is with someone else when i love her so much. There seams to be nothing i can do to get back with her and as i get farther away from her heart her co-worker is getting closer. I love her so much i see her as my once in a lifetime love or i would of never married her. She doesnt want to go to a marriage counsling, She doesnt want to even talk to me or anything to do with me. How could i possibly push her away that much. I wish she would realize that im sorry and i want to make it up to her. I just want my wife back in my arms so i can show her what she means to me and never have her feel unloved or unwanted again. Am i to late is there anything i can do or is my life going to be miserable evertime i see her for the kids for the rest of my life? Please someone help me i have tried everything and am at my wits end im depressed lost 30lbs and dont even want to be here without her and my kids with me i know i shouldnt be like that am im not going to but thats just how i feel. I love her and the kids so much i want to be the husband she deserves. Help with some advice on what i can do please and thankyou.

[Whynot]

Anyone with any advice? I just called to check on the kids and i heard him in the background playing with MY kids wtf do i do have i lost her to him?

[westernxer]

Give her space to do whatever she needs to do. Right now you're smothering her, and she's disgusted by it, especially after you've abandoned her for so long.

 

Nothing you say or do will convince her you've improved. Only time will tell, and only if you make an effort. If she doesn't want counseling, then go by yourself.

 

Again, aside from the kids, don't smother her. She'll come around when she sees a noticeable improvement.

 

By the way, that co-worker is more than just a friend (every guy knows what he's up to), but forget about him. She's already turned off by you. The least you can do is work on yourself.

[Whynot]

I guess i dont understand how she can go and be with someone a week after i leave and before the divorce is final. I hope that he is just a friend becouse i know she has had alot of guy friends and i know nothing has happened with them i hope this is the case here but it might be lost hope. All i have been doing is trying to improve myself i just feel like im in such a deep hole that i wont be able to get out and on with my life.