Large family living under one roof - issues

[Matislia]

I have what I think is a unique situation and need assistance/suggestions. (very long, sorry)

 

I was married about 2.5 years ago and my husband moved into my house about 3 years ago. We also have custody of a 16 y/o who is his cousin. His parents and two sisters and one of the sisters 3 children lived together as well. Their house was damaged by water and the township condemned the house and they had to move. They moved temporarily in with friends until my in-laws found an apartment. At that time, the one sister-in-law didn't have a place to live (couldn't go with the parents) and the other sister-in-law with kids went to a motel. My hubby asked if the SIL w/o kids could move in. I agreed. My first house was small, single story, two bedrooms, tiny. She slept on a pull-out sofa in the living room for a few months. The 16 y/o was in a group home at that time, so it was a little easier. However, I can’t sleep in the same room with my hubby due to his horrible snoring issues (it really is bad, could wake the dead!). So, both bedrooms were taken. So, she slept on a pull-out sofa in the living room for a few months. Luckily, she had a job and worked. She is self-proclaimed lazy and rarely helped around the house and mostly slept. She did occasionally chip in for groceries.

 

Then, the other sister-in-law with the kids ran out of money and needed a place to live, so she moved in. Things became really cramped for awhile, especially when the 16 y/o came home from the group home. The SIL, w/kids, was in school for nursing and on the verge of getting a job and on welfare. She helped tremendously around the house.

 

We put the house up for sale and decided to move. Found a house almost triple in size, still one story but with a full basement and moved. They all moved as well. We now have 3 bedrooms and a full basement, ½ of which is partially finished.

 

The agreement was that the SIL w/kids would contribute her food stamps to the monthly grocery bill and that would be their room and board fees and the contribution for the other SIL as well. The SIL w/kids helps around the house once in awhile and will assist with anything she is asked. She is working but doesn’t work a lot of hours.

 

The other SIL doesn’t contribute anything, doesn’t help and doesn’t want to. We think she may have plans to move out as well (keeping our fingers crossed).

 

The problem is, they are doing the grocery shopping with their money card and allocating groceries specifically to themselves, mostly to the other SIL (who is contributing nothing) and buying unneeded food and junk. Just the day before yesterday they bought almost $50 in lunch meat and hid some of it from everyone else.

 

Their careless spending and selfishness causes my husband and me to end up spending an additional $2-300 a month in groceries because we usually run out half-way through the month (and that is on top of the already $400 they’ll have spent). We can’t afford it any longer. It’s like we are paying them to live with us.

 

Our mortgage has doubled in the new house, we have oil heat instead of gas and the electric bill has doubled if not tripled.

 

We understand they do not make a lot of money but we are starting to feel taken advantage of, especially by the one SIL w/o the kids.

 

My hubby constantly complains, as I do once in awhile, but he won’t say anything to them and I feel uncomfortable saying anything.

 

I’ve been searching the web for suggestions on family planning, rules, guidelines, etc. and that is how I ended up on this site. Any comments/suggestions would be appreciated.

 

It is a difficult situation when there are children involved.

 

On a side note, I am proud to say that the 16 y/o has come home completely changed and adjusted and doing very well. She made honor roll this quarter (for the 1st time ever), just started a new job and is becoming a very lovely, respectable young woman.