buddhism

[sylviaguardian]

Is there anyone here who is a practising buddhist? If so, has it helped you in your life and how did you go about getting more into it?

 

Syl

[ReluctantRomeo]

I'm not a buddhist, but I'm interested in some buddhist ideas. So I'm gonna hang around and see what pops up

[slubberdegullion]

There's lots of good info here.

[ReluctantRomeo]

There's lots of good info here.

 

Thanks, Slub.

 

Avoiding attachment doesn't seem to be a good philosophy to me

[Outcast]

I'm not a 'practicing' buddhist but I have read a fair bit about buddhism as well as some Albert Ellis (the secular buddhist LOL) and find I live my life very much by most of the principles. I don't know if I'll ever pefect 'detachment' but I was greatly cheered to hear the Dalai Lama say that even he gets angry and frustrated at times

 

Avoiding attachment doesn't seem to be a good philosophy to me

 

I've always agreed, but I can also see the problems in being overly attached. I think there's a balance between the two which is the ideal to aim for if one is not going to live in a monastery.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Albert Ellis (the secular buddhist LOL)

 

How does that work?

 

 

I've always agreed, but I can also see the problems in being overly attached. I think there's a balance between the two which is the ideal to aim for if one is not going to live in a monastery.

 

So how would you describe this balance?

[slubberdegullion]

Avoiding attachment doesn't seem to be a good philosophy to me

As I understand it - and, granted, my understanding of buddhism may be completely wrong - a practicioner of buddhism doesn't necessarily have to be 100% pure buddhist in word, thought and deed. It's a process, not a destination. So, whatever buddhist paradigms work for you are the ones to practice, and whatever ones you find that aren't good for you where you are now, you can safely ignore.

[Outcast]

Originally Posted by Outcast

Albert Ellis (the secular buddhist LOL)

 

How does that work?

 

He's the psych champion of the 'right thinking' philosophy.

 

So how would you describe this balance?

 

It's good not to be attached to expectations, to outcomes, to possessions, etc. But 'detachment' can't IMHO extend to the point where you detach from empathic responses to others. I gather that buddhist detachment can be interpreted to mean that karma will take care of people and therefore while you should live a life of compassion, you draw boundaries. I'd move the boundaries. Or subscribe to a slightly less rigid brand of buddhism

[ReluctantRomeo]

So, whatever buddhist paradigms work for you are the ones to practice, and whatever ones you find that aren't good for you where you are now, you can safely ignore.

 

Well, since I would better be described as a christian, this buffet approach to Buddhist wisdom is what will best work for me

[ReluctantRomeo]

I'd move the boundaries. Or subscribe to a slightly less rigid brand of buddhism

 

Your post sounds sensible to me. How would you move the boundaries exactly?

[Outcast]

Your post sounds sensible to me. How would you move the boundaries exactly?

 

I think empathy is critical to human affairs. I don't think we can afford to let karma take care of situations. I think that sort of detachment shouldn't be encouraged and in fact may lead to the sorts of issues we are discussing elsewhere.

 

However I realize I'm still too attached to hoping to make a difference in persuading people to let go of their attachments to their own desires enough to consider the hopes of others that I ignore my own needs. How's that for a paradox? Then again, Maslow would maybe say I'm at the point of transcendence and therefore I'm on the right path. Still trying to wrestle that one to the ground, I am.

 

But to answer the OP - this helps me in my life immensely; detachment from expectations is truly the key to peace of mind. Mindfulness to the point where one appreciates all the gifts and beauty that happen into one's life is a great gift. I'm truly a happy human and I'm sure it's because I've achieved some measure of detachment.

[tinktronik]

Is there anyone here who is a practising buddhist? If so, has it helped you in your life and how did you go about getting more into it?

 

Syl

 

I am a practicing buddhist, it has helped me in many many ways. There are many different types of buddhism , and you minght want to start at your local bookstore , some decent titles are in the snow lion publications or shambhala publications. Also depending on where you live ( what city) you can usually find a ( place to meditate or hear speakers) sangha , tucked away somewhere.You can Pm me if you have any ?.

[tinktronik]

How does that work?

 

 

 

 

So how would you describe this balance?

 

the balance actually has a term amongst buddhists its called the "middle way" or "middle path" its finding the right balance between things in your on life.

and your secular ? , buddhism is not a religon it is a philosophy.

[tinktronik]

Ok I have to respond to the attachment post. Buddhism is about not having attachments to things , realizing impermanence in everything around us , becoming a buddhist has many transformative steps along the way , and a definite changing in perspective mostly in the way you view your own world.Compassion does not mean letting others run all over you , sometimes the most compassionate thing to do is to get out of the way of another or to not give in to others desires. I would say no one is perfect in "being detached , at least not now, buddihsm is about striving to see the world around us in its real form , without our own attachments and the signifigance we have placed upon things. Most of us dont see ourselves or others the way they really are, we have placed upon each other our own attachments and emotional status. Without this we simply have a person just as valuable or invaluable as any other. This step is my personaly most difficult and painfull to boot. The only thing that has helped with this is to sit ( reliably) and clear my mind.

[seachange]

Tinktronik explains Buddhist compassion much more eloquently than I could...what I know of buddhism I learned from an ex, who was a practicing Buddhist.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to add that from what I understand, Buddha himself said that the essence of Buddhism consists of these three practices:

 

Avoid all evil.

Do good.

Purify the mind.

[ButtonPusher]

Is there anyone here who is a practising buddhist?

Moi

If so, has it helped you in your life

-I'm a lot more focused on whatever I do

 

-I don't get so affected by lifes ups and downs anymore. For example if I get sick, or if things in my life go really crappy, I don't get depressed about it anymore. The same goes for if everything is going well - it won't last either.

 

-I'm more compassionate towards every living being

 

-I'm not scared of dying (doesn't mean I want to or am ready to die though )

 

-I've found a contentment in life that not everyone has, as I'm no longer troubled by thoughts of what does my life mean, is there a god, what will happen when I die etc

 

how did you go about getting more into it?

There are a LOT of buddhist books around, which is a good place to start learning about it. At some point it would be a good idea to talk to a monk or nun, and get an idea about some of the different meditation methods, and any tips that they can offer. In terms of "practising", you dont need to hang around a monastery or meditation centre. Yes it can help motivate you, but the best way to practice buddhism once you've learnt a bit about it, is to find a quiet place and meditate.

[sylviaguardian]

Thanks, that's all really helpful. I have started reading a bit already. I'm really attracted to certain aspects of the philosophy like living in the present (my life is a total mess at the moment and everything I do is affected by that), not worrying about the future or past and the whole 'mindfulness' thing.

 

Also, I've been an atheist all my life - my parents were atheists, I am an atheist but I feel the need of a bit of spirituality at the moment, like a code to live by.

 

Ok, next question! Can anyone give me tips on meditating? How often do you do it for? Every day? Do most of you try to keep a blank mind or does anyone say mantras? What really is the purpose of meditation? Bit confused on this one...

 

Thanks,

Sylvia

[ReluctantRomeo]

I think empathy is critical to human affairs. I don't think we can afford to let karma take care of situations. I think that sort of detachment shouldn't be encouraged and in fact may lead to the sorts of issues we are discussing elsewhere.

 

Agree 100%. And I enjoyed and appreciated your paradox.

 

 

But to answer the OP - this helps me in my life immensely; detachment from expectations is truly the key to peace of mind.

 

I think that's great.

 

Somehow, I still prefer christian philosophy on this, which teaches detachment from the visible, earthly world and attachment to the Kingdom of God. So detachment from possessions ("you cannot serve God and mammon"), status (see any of Jesus' comments on the pharisees), expectations (the notion of grace) and all the trappings of this visible world, but on the other hand attachment to people ("loving your neighbour), your emotions (living life to the full) and God. The whole thing seems more balanced and (dare I say it) red-blooded to me.

 

Also the concept of faith in an active God while playing an active role in using the talents he gives you, seems to me to beat passive Karma any day.

 

Am I missing something in the Buddhist idea of detachment? Forgive me if I've strayed into being polemic here - I like trying on ideas for size, but sometimes I get too keen on the ideas and lose the tact.

[sylviaguardian]

 

Somehow, I still prefer christian philosophy on this, which teaches detachment from the visible, earthly world and attachment to the Kingdom of God. So detachment from possessions ("you cannot serve God and mammon"), status (see any of Jesus' comments on the pharisees), expectations (the notion of grace) and all the trappings of this visible world, but on the other hand attachment to people ("loving your neighbour), your emotions (living life to the full) and God. The whole thing seems more balanced and (dare I say it) red-blooded to me.

I am no expert on buddhism but I don't believe that buddhism promotes active detachment, rather it teaches people to accept that attachments to people might be transitory and not to use those attachments as a 'crutch' e.g. I would not exist if he/she left me. Probably we are then freer to enjoy other people as we don't have expectations of how they should and shouldn't behave and are not dependent upon them for our happiness. I guess that's the crux of it. Attachment for the sake of love and appreciation of another person is fine, but attachment for your own sense of self and happiness is false.

 

I think (!) that buddhism teaches happiness within so that we not longer need an 'external' force (e.g. partner, God) to complete us.

 

Also the concept of faith in an active God while playing an active role in using the talents he gives you, seems to me to beat passive Karma any day.

 

Again, I don't think karma just means not caring and being passive. It was my belief that the whole of the buddhist philosophy is about self-improvement and making yourself a better person. A lot of the buddhist principles are very similar to Christian ones- not hurting others, not taking what is not yours (stealing and adultery) etc.

 

As I've said I am just starting to read up on it so I could be wrong. It seems to me that while Christian teaching says that God will save us, show us the way etc the buddhist line is more that we accept life on earth, accept that it is difficult etc so there is nothing to be saved from. Achieving happiness and contentment from within while we are here on earth means that there is no need to believe in an after life.

 

At least I think that's what it all means...!

 

Sylvia

[ReluctantRomeo]

I think (!) that buddhism teaches happiness within so that we not longer need an 'external' force (e.g. partner, God) to complete us.

 

It seems to me that while Christian teaching says that God will save us, show us the way etc the buddhist line is more that we accept life on earth, accept that it is difficult etc so there is nothing to be saved from. Achieving happiness and contentment from within while we are here on earth means that there is no need to believe in an after life.

 

I'm constrained by my relatively limited knowledge of Buddhism too, but this seems very clear and a good explanation. Thanks!

 

 

Again, I don't think karma just means not caring and being passive. It was my belief that the whole of the buddhist philosophy is about self-improvement and making yourself a better person.

 

True.

 

Any self-improvement tips from Buddhism you'd give to a christian? The detachment thing has got me thinking... any more like this?

[sylviaguardian]

Eh well, I am just a beginner you know. I'm sure others will have more tips than me. The one I especially like though is about 'mindfulness'. This is when you just concentrate on doing what you are doing at the time without thinking about what else you're going to be doing, what has happened in the past etc. So if you are washing dishes, you concentrate and do that very well. If you have a boring task at work, you concentrate.

 

This way you apply your mind to things you are doing instead of letting it wander all over the place. It's supposed to make you live in the here and now which I think most of us don't do very often.

 

Anybody else got any tips?

 

Sylvia

[ReluctantRomeo]

The one I especially like though is about 'mindfulness'. This is when you just concentrate on doing what you are doing at the time without thinking about what else you're going to be doing, what has happened in the past etc.

 

"Do not worry about tomorrow... each day has enough trouble of its own" - Jesus

[tinktronik]

Sitting or breath meditation is fairly compact. Sit , clear your mind breathe in breathe out .You'll start to understand how your mind tries to fill and distract you from the present ,clear it again.When I first started meditating I actually had cartoon scenerios dancing around in there and the longer I meditated the more agressive my mind became , untill one day it stopped and I was able to break through it, new things come along from time to time its just a matter of continuing on.lol.Continue for 10-15 min. Do this everyday, Try to be still , some buddhists do this with eyes open some closed. Later you may want to pick up mantras to go with your practice but the simplest way to begin is with sitting meditation.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Ok, next question! Can anyone give me tips on meditating? How often do you do it for? Every day? Do most of you try to keep a blank mind or does anyone say mantras?

 

In your shoes, I'd try all of these and see which one worked for you. I'd practise this and get better at it. Then after a while I'd try the others again to see if a new one worked.

 

Button's advice about getting periodic input from a monk or nun sounds good too.

 

What really is the purpose of meditation? Bit confused on this one...

 

Me too. Anyone wanna enlighten us?

[cranium]

Syl,

 

The book - If the Buddha Married by Charlotte Kasl has not left my bedside table since I discovered my wife's affair. I read from it constantly. It has been a valuable tool in helping me rebuild our relationship.

 

Not really a lot about Buddhism; pulls from many philosophies including Sufi mystics. Has raised my interest in exploring Buddhism though.

 

Another by Dr. Kasl is If the Buddha Got Stuck: A Handbook for Change on the Spritual Path (loved this one also).