Had NC for 6 months....i emailed him, he wrote back but not sure what to do

[Wondergirl]

I saw a guy for 6months - we worked together so it was a very intense situation. It was so much fun in one way but not a healthy environment for a relationship to blossom when you sit 5 metres apart, 12 hrs a day, 5 days a week. We got along extremely well and tried to be just friends cos of the work situation but it always became more. We seemed to go around in circles, often discussing what was going on. My heart wanted to get serious but i knew with my head it would never work whilst we worked together.

 

The 'halfway house' ended in May - i said i couldnt continue doing it anymore. The week before I ended it he had wanted to spend almost every night with me doing things like going for a jog, supermarket shopping, dvd etc. A week later I left the company cos my contract ended unexpectedly.

 

It was a civil ending but 2 weeks later it got messy. We had said we would stay friends but after it got messy (I was the one who got really really hurt cos I think an ex of his resurfaced - i saw her in the window of his flat - he lived 5 min walk from my place) he said it was best if we cut ties and have no further contact.

 

In the following 6 weeks we ran into each other in a few places and were always polite but it was awkward so we kept it brief.

 

Since July we havent spoken at all or seen each other. At the end of Sept he asked one of my friends about me 'how i was going and whether i lived in the same area' and then 2 weeks later he asked another friend how i was going etc. Both of my friends still worked at the same place he did. A few days later I went on holiday for a month and thought about him alot. I have been back a month and still thinking about him.

 

Anyway last week I emailed him for the first time in 6months. I was aware he said 'no further contact' 6 months ago but i wanted to touch base. I wrote just over a paragraph and kept it very general. I just said that i would be interested to hear how he is going and that i understood if he wanted to continue having no contact. I wrote a few lines about my holiday but didnt talk about job/house/friends etc.

 

 

Ideally i would like to catch up for a drink with him sometime...im not sure how i feel about him but i know our connection was the best I have ever felt (I am 25 years old)!

 

Well a few days later he replied and updated me on his news with work/holidays/flatmate/hobbies. It was also about a paragraph. He didnt ask me any questions so I am not sure whether he was just being polite or whether he is playing the same card as I played - keeping it general. I didnt expect him to be flirtatious since it was the first contact we have had in ages plus considering how it got messy towards the end.

 

I need to know what his email means.... please tell me 'is he just being polite?' by replying or would it be worth sending him a xmas email and saying it would be great to catch up sometime in the new year.'

[CaliGuy]

The email means what it says. In 6 months he made no attempts to contact you and though you broke the ice and responded, he doesn't seem to have the same level of attraction as you do.

 

In the time you were apart have you made any changes to yourself to improve who you are? I don't mean to assume something was wrong, but perhaps you picked out some things that could have been improved from that relationship and worked on them.

 

That is your best chance, for him to see you have changed, than it is to exhange a few emails.

 

When someone tells you 'no further contact' and they don't contact you, it usually means what it says.

 

Salvage your feelings and move on. Invest your time in someone who is willing to put as much into you as you are of them. This guy doesn't seem to be too interested.