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HELP! I'm in love with my friend!


RottenGazebo

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Hi...

 

My friend and I used to be bf/gf...but then she told me that she just wanted to be friends. But...I fell in love with her and can't get out. What should I do?

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damn. doesn't this suck? i'm in the same boat, with my gay friend. i understand how hard it is to not be able to "just get over it", i tried. it only works when you're not around the other person. i guess how you proceed depends on whether or not you told her how you feel. i haven't told my friend, so i'm keeping it to myself and sometimes talking a little with other friends i trust. if you've told her, or if you want to, maybe you could discuss it with her and see how she feels about it. hopefully it won't make her feel awkward around you. it sounds to me like maybe she's not really sure how she feels. are you really friends now, or just trying to be? that'll also change what you should do. if you're not going to be hanging out with her often, it'll be easier to "get over her", although that's not a good phrase. if you will be around her often, change how you act from how you acted when you were dating. that might help you remember you're not going out anymore. are there other people you might be interesting in dating? spend more time with them and you'll see qualitie sin them that you liked in your ex, in different combinations.

 

i guess the only way you'll really know what to do is by trying different things. i've gone through a bunch: ignoring it, trying to convince myself i have no feelings for him because it's ridiculous to be a girl in love with a gay man, trying to be mad at him (which another friend said worked for him), spending a lot less time with him, and none of it has really worked for me, so i'm debating telling him, and seeing what he thinks i oughtta do.

 

good luck!

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