FadeToBlack Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost a month. She talks a lot and is very friendly. She is very attractive and i know that a lot of other guys like her. I get realy jealous when she is hanging around other guys especially if there is a bunch of guys and just her. This makes me very jealous and i become very quiet and she will think that i am upset with her. Does anyone have any advice for me? Link to post Share on other sites
ZGT1503 Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Hi, this is tricky because jealousy is a very difficult reaction to stop, but you must learn that it can be controlled. I also react in the same way if my boyfriend is with lots of girls. But because I don't want to appear irrational and unreasonable, I try not to say that I'm jealous (he knows I have jealousy issues, but I don't think it's helpful to bring it up all the time). Instead what happens is I often become quiet as a way to deal with it, and, as you say, your partner thinks you're upset with them! This is a really hard cycle to get out of. And I don't really have any advice as such, since I'm still learning how to cope with this. All I can say is, try to remind yourself of the fact that she is with you, and focus on all the positive things she says and the feelings she has for you. (I'm assuming that it's only the guys who like her, and that she hasn't given you any reason to be suspicious of her.) If you think it might help to explain how you feel, then do this only at a time when you are not in a situation where you are reacting and jealous at that moment. Because ultimately the jealousy is your problem and not hers, so there is no point reacting as if she has done something wrong. Best of luck with it - try not to let it get the better of you! Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 You must fake not being jealous (and work on yourself) until you are not jealous -- this may require a period where you truly do not care about her for anything other than the moment until you can balance yourself. Do not express this stuff with her, do not get quiet (do call her immediately, gently and firmly if she gets out of line) and do not make this an issue -- you will make these other dudes seem immediately more attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
WRbeach60954 Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 I have the jealiously issue also. Its really annoying, I usualy just try hard not to be jealious, but then end up not caring at all, or putting myself in a bad mood. Link to post Share on other sites
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