Will you take back your ex if she broke up with you?

[calworld]

She broke up with me 6 months ago. I know she's been sleeping with the guy that halted my relationship with my ex. Should I even consider going back with her? Yes, I do love her but the thing is I don't think I can get over the fact that she dumped me and now come back to me makes me look like a idiot

[westernxer]

Should I even consider going back with her?

 

Totally.

 

Then you'll really look like an idiot.

[Fun2BMe]

I think you should take her back. Maybe she realized she did the wrong thing and things will be ok especially since you still love her.

[omegaRED]

Yes. And then paint a bullseye on your back, for her to aim for when she stabs you in the back AGAIN.

[Nikita20]

It sounds like you have doubts about getting back together with her. Listen to what your gut tells you and it seems like it is saying do not take her back. If you do, you will have major trust issues. You will go round after round in arguments about this. And, in the end, this will kill the relationship.

 

Personally, I would never take back someone who cheated on me. I think that cheaters will cheat again. To me, when someone cheats that is a big warning sign that they don't love you, don't care about the relationship and have commitment issues.

 

On the other hand, if you can absolutely trust her again and can mentally handle the fact that she cheated on you and won’t have issues with it, take her back, but do things SLOWLY. Don’t rush back into the relationship. Start from the beginning like you did when you first met her.

[calworld]

Thanks for your response. I think you are totally right about the trust issue and the fact that I know she dumped me because she really wanted to date other people kinda scare me away...I wonder when will she actually grow up. SIGH

 

It sounds like you have doubts about getting back together with her. Listen to what your gut tells you and it seems like it is saying do not take her back. If you do, you will have major trust issues. You will go round after round in arguments about this. And, in the end, this will kill the relationship.

 

Personally, I would never take back someone who cheated on me. I think that cheaters will cheat again. To me, when someone cheats that is a big warning sign that they don't love you, don't care about the relationship and have commitment issues.

 

On the other hand, if you can absolutely trust her again and can mentally handle the fact that she cheated on you and won’t have issues with it, take her back, but do things SLOWLY. Don’t rush back into the relationship. Start from the beginning like you did when you first met her.

[CaliGuy]

I would never take my ex back (again, yikes!) unless she could convince me she has really changed. She doesn't want a relationship right now, just "FWB." I don't want that, I want marriage. Her view of my personality is so skewed that she'd have to be really desperate or lonely to come back to me.

 

Let me repeat that to myself, so it sinks in. "She'd have to be desperate or lonely to come back to me."

 

Ok, that actually makes me feel better because I am realizing that it's not a good fit. I wish I could get over her as easily as she has gotten over some of her Ex's. Well I take it back, she said it took her 18 months to get over someone she dated for 6 years. But it got easier for her with each relationship failure to get over them.

 

Detect a pattern here? She's relationship-handicapped.

 

It's hard to stop thinking about the past. What I could have done, what I should have done, etc. I really do need to spend my time focusing on me and my future and not her and what she's doing. That will accomplish nothing but keep me down even longer.

[Tiny]

It's just so heartbreaking when this sh*t happens and i'd love to say give her another chance, because I know that you really want too, but .... the answer i'm afraid is no Don't do it. you have to start again with someone new You know it's the only way, if your honest with yourself.

[CaliGuy]

You know, another reason I believe second chances rarely work is because there's baggage from the first chance.

 

You know, they have this image of what you are and it's almost impossible to change it. Time will lessen some of their negativity about you, but even if you get back together they'll be constantly looking for the signs you are still that person they dumped.

 

A clean slate is probably the best way to go. Finding someone who loves you just as you are is ideal. You won't need to change at all. You can be yourself and know you are appreciated for that.

 

Going back to an ex and having the negative dogma over you and trying to overcome that, it's just too difficult. There were so many good things about the Ex that I loved and yet the bad things were so much worse that I overlooked them because I had just an inkling of goodness there.

 

I think I need my head checked for being with her so long and putting up with it. There's someone else out there, I just have to find her.

[rastafari]

if, for a fact, she dumped you for another dood i would forget about it. or get with her, bang her, and dump her for another girl. not really, just another immature comment. sorry. if you love her, and she dumped you for reasons that you feel are legit, and got with dood months after, i would consider it, but would take it easy.