Women...I'm really confused here.

[Average Joe]

Okay, all my life I've been taught to respect women. To treat them good and I will be treated the same way from them. But I'm starting to queston how true that is. Do women not like being treated with goodness and respect? If not, why do you go on talking about how you want that from a guy? Why don't you just be straight up and honest? Do women like a guy who just blows them off and looks twards the other direction when he see's you coming? Why do women stay with a man that beats them? Why do women like a man who has no time for them? What's with that? I'm confused and I'm sick of being dumped on for being good to them. Do nice guys really finish last? What is with women? Why do you say you want something from a guy, and once you get it, break his heart? Why...why...why??? I want some answers here!

[Tony T]

1. "Do women not like being treated with goodness and respect?"

 

No, they don't. The want to be treated with goodness and respect by their friends and at the RIGHT time by the RIGHT romantic interest. If a guy is after them and they're not interested, they really don't care how the guy treats them.

 

Until the situation is right, some of them with low self worth, low self esteem and sorry social skills will put up and seemingly enjoy crap...because they don't feel like they deserve better. Some of them, who come from dysfunctional families, are used to being treated poorly and equate that with love.

 

2. "If not, why do you go on talking about how you want that from a guy?"

 

Women do want that from a guy...but the RIGHT guy and only after he has been caught following a period of time during which he was aloof, unpredictable and a challenge. Women vomit when a guy is too nice from the very start. That doesn't mean he's got to be nasty...it means his level of interest in her should be disclosed just a little bit at a time.

 

3. "Why don't you just be straight up and honest?"

 

Most women are straight up and honest about what they think they want. But they are confused. One day, hopefully, each lady meets the RIGHT person and everything falls into place.

 

4. "Do women like a guy who just blows them off and looks twards the other direction when he see's you coming?"

 

The very immature ones do. But all women like a skillful challenge. It just depends on the way a guy does it. You take it for granted that everyone who posts here or who is out in the world is sane. There are a lot of pretty crazy men and women who love to be abused. That's the way they were raised. Talking about people in generalities is very difficult because there are all kinds.

 

5. "Why do women stay with a man that beats them?"

 

Zero self image, zero self esteem. Usually it's the way their parents treated them...what they are used to. Any woman with any self-respect at all would call the police the first time a guy laid a hand on her. Functional, emotionally healthy people don't put up with that crap. Screwed up ones do.

 

6. "Why do women like a man who has no time for them?"

 

Low self esteem, low self image...sometimes. Other times, it's just the challenge. A beautiful woman who has guys hanging all over her all the time will be absolutely fascinated and intrigued by a guy who doesn't have time for her. That would be an unusual situation and would drive her nuts.

 

7. "What's with that? I'm confused and I'm sick of being dumped on for being good to them."

 

Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly but expecting a different result.

 

I think you ought to change you way of dealing with women. Be nice but not so nice. Be available but also be a challenge. Don't make them the center of your universe right off the bat. Women absolutely adore a guy who does his own thing, has his own life and gives them only the right and appropriate amount of time and attention.

 

8. "Do nice guys really finish last?"

 

It depends on what car they're driving.

 

9. "What is with women? Why do you say you want something from a guy, and once you get it, break his heart?"

 

Because stupid guys give them everything the want. That's so stupid. You have to leave mystery in a relationship and not solve all problems and desires at once.

 

It's not the fault of women, it's the stupidity of men.

[Average Joe]

I'm sorry to come off as someone who is pissed off or desperate. But this is just mind boggling to me. Tony, you made some very good points with THE ANSWERS response. I've always treated women good. I mean I have game and all that. But usually they lose intrest about 6 months in the relationship. Basically I get dumped on for being good to them and I just want to know why. I mean I'm careful about the consistentsy of which I make time for them. I do things like, buy flowers, but I really do not turn it into an everyday thing. Most of the time women are surprised by that. But still I end up getting spit in the face. Maybe I haven't met the right kind of woman yet. I don't know, maybe I should just try to go for a different kind of woman all together. Because you know that there are different kinds, Bitchy, Sweet, Independant, Bad Girls. You know what I mean. I just don't know but maybe I'll figure it out if I don't study it so hard.

Okay, all my life I've been taught to respect women. To treat them good and I will be treated the same way from them. But I'm starting to queston how true that is. Do women not like being treated with goodness and respect? If not, why do you go on talking about how you want that from a guy? Why don't you just be straight up and honest? Do women like a guy who just blows them off and looks twards the other direction when he see's you coming? Why do women stay with a man that beats them? Why do women like a man who has no time for them? What's with that? I'm confused and I'm sick of being dumped on for being good to them. Do nice guys really finish last? What is with women? Why do you say you want something from a guy, and once you get it, break his heart? Why...why...why??? I want some answers here!

[Tony T]

Go to: http://www.sharkbaitpress.com

 

At the homepage, click on: "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid" at the bottom left side of the page. ORDER THE BOOK. It's real cheap. You'll get a million dollars worth of help from it and you need it.

 

There is a synopsis of the book there. Read over it...but I give it my strongest recommendation.

 

There are also two other books you desperately need. One is "Love Tactics" and the other is "More Love Tactics". Both are by Phillips and McKnight.

 

Go to www.google.com and enter "love tactics" without the quotation marks into the search field and go. There you will find a dozen links to information about these two books and how to order the books and tapes. YOU MUST GET THESE. No, I don't get a commission and I don't know the authors.

 

Once you read this material, you will be a total expert on the subject giving you trouble and you will not longer seek information about this mystery that seems to be troubling you.

 

If you don't have a credit card to order these books and/or tapes, borrow one from a friend and pay him back.

[sarah]

Disagree with some points! Maybe it's just my stage in life, but here goes....

1. "Do women not like being treated with goodness and respect?" No, they don't. The want to be treated with goodness and respect by their friends and at the RIGHT time by the RIGHT romantic interest. If a guy is after them and they're not interested, they really don't care how the guy treats them.

I have to believe some DO. I know I would. If I'm not interested, I would say so in hopefully a diplomatic manner.

Until the situation is right, some of them with low self worth, low self esteem and sorry social skills will put up and seemingly enjoy crap...because they don't feel like they deserve better. Some of them, who come from dysfunctional families, are used to being treated poorly and equate that with love. 2. "If not, why do you go on talking about how you want that from a guy?" Women do want that from a guy...but the RIGHT guy and only after he has been caught following a period of time during which he was aloof, unpredictable and a challenge. Women vomit when a guy is too nice from the very start. That doesn't mean he's got to be nasty...it means his level of interest in her should be disclosed just a little bit at a time.

A woman should vomit if a man doesn't have his own life (interests, hobbies, etc.), and wants a committment from someone he has not known for very long and is very clingy. That doesn't mean playing games, not disclosing that you are looking for a long term relationship, family, etc.

3. "Why don't you just be straight up and honest?" Most women are straight up and honest about what they think they want. But they are confused. One day, hopefully, each lady meets the RIGHT person and everything falls into place.

If you are straight up and honest, and do not receive the same, then you know to look elsewhere.

4. "Do women like a guy who just blows them off and looks twards the other direction when he see's you coming?" The very immature ones do. But all women like a skillful challenge. It just depends on the way a guy does it. You take it for granted that everyone who posts here or who is out in the world is sane. There are a lot of pretty crazy men and women who love to be abused. That's the way they were raised. Talking about people in generalities is very difficult because there are all kinds. 5. "Why do women stay with a man that beats them?" Zero self image, zero self esteem. Usually it's the way their parents treated them...what they are used to. Any woman with any self-respect at all would call the police the first time a guy laid a hand on her. Functional, emotionally healthy people don't put up with that crap. Screwed up ones do.

A need to be attached. Usually not many, or any, support systems (close family and friends, a life of their own). Sometimes abusers consciously or unconsciously choose women they can isolate from others. Sometimes it doesn't happen until there is a firmly established relationship (marriage and living away from family), then the woman's choices are limited and they know it. Usually such men are extremely charming and caretaking in between abuse (and women do this as well), and the other thinks things will change for the better. Could write a book on this one.

6. "Why do women like a man who has no time for them?" Low self esteem, low self image...sometimes. Other times, it's just the challenge. A beautiful woman who has guys hanging all over her all the time will be absolutely fascinated and intrigued by a guy who doesn't have time for her. That would be an unusual situation and would drive her nuts.

 

7. "What's with that? I'm confused and I'm sick of being dumped on for being good to them." Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly but expecting a different result. I think you ought to change you way of dealing with women. Be nice but not so nice. Be available but also be a challenge. Don't make them the center of your universe right off the bat. Women absolutely adore a guy who does his own thing, has his own life and gives them only the right and appropriate amount of time and attention.

Don't make anyone the center of your universe, period. Adore yourself, have a nice life, the rest is icing on the cake. Not to say we wouldn't all love to have a special someone to share it all with. Pay attention to the clues you get early on, cultivate your intuition. If someone dumps on you once, shame on them, twice, shame on you.

8. "Do nice guys really finish last?"

 

It depends on what car they're driving. 9. "What is with women? Why do you say you want something from a guy, and once you get it, break his heart?" Because stupid guys give them everything the want. That's so stupid. You have to leave mystery in a relationship and not solve all problems and desires at once. It's not the fault of women, it's the stupidity of men.

Ignorance of both. And not being in the place you need to be with yourself.