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The problem is already confusing, as it gets. The problem is that I already assumed that there is something majorly wrong with me, I was abused when I was younger.. not a lot.. but I remember being afraid a little. What is weird is that this aniexty feeling look like it got me later in life, either that or it is just the fact that I moved to a new school and don't have any friends. I read that it would effect you later in life, I think.. But focusing on this, I found ways to make myself look confident/ raise self-esteem with the symptom I guess I am having.

 

 

I feel like there is a part of me missing, and the closer I get to that part of me, I start to get anxiety a bit. That is when I lay in bed and try to bring myself there. When I breathe I feel like there isn't all of me there like another thing is hiding, that is why I do it. Like I am breathing air but not all of it. I have no will, not all of it atleast.. I do have my mind, and that is probably what I use to be confident, " I get influenced by what you put me through", etc.. As if I have to get mad or something to use that as ambition. When I communicate it is super hard because I don’t know which way my feelings is reacting?

 

If you can help me somehow, please, do. I need it.

 

Yes my family has a history of abuse.

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Have you thought about seeing someone to talk to about your past abuse issues? The anxiety feelings, the pain seems to be affecting you now, it might be something to consider in the near future. Our mental health is so important and if you're down alot you need to fix what it is that is making you feel bad.

 

Take life one day at a time and enjoy the littlest of little things that bring you joy. Could be a song on the radio or a good meal. That is a start.

 

Maybe keep a daily writing journal of your thoughts and feelings. Getting stuff out of your head and down on paper does help and is quite enlightening at times.

 

Hope this helps abit, take care.

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yes. i rode my bike again! i did encounter in music and it felt great! i was a little kid again.. cept.. till' i came home. my dad brought me those feelings again.. even though it was years ago.

 

what can i do? should i keep putting positive messages to myself? keep listening to music, i have earphones.. and its been on and i try to ignore there yelling or whatever. it's true! no one wants to be around angry people, sometimes they do that even when they're not mad, simply because they know they can make people feel that way.

 

being down is boring, most of all it is like your sad and you can't let anything out no matter what. can't talk to people. it's amazing how fast the vibe sends, watch out too I can be your teammate =)

 

one. dont need to help, dont want to aggravate your time, want to talk to you though. just want to keep experiencing happy moments even if it means sitting here listening to music. :bunny:

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