Author grace2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 Damn it! I broke my own no contact rule with JDUB. Now I'm back to square one. That's the penalty for breaking the no contact rule! Link to post Share on other sites
J dub Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 What difference does it make whether it's the CHRIST mas season or not? Why can't you cut me some slack regardless of the time of year it is? Youve missed my point Grace. I meant, of all times to try and be happy, I'd think the holidays are as good of a reason as any. Its impossible for me to cut some slack to someone whom I havent been hard on to begin with. Youve already made up your mind that I am out to get you, and youve admitted youre stubborn which only solidifies the fact that once you make that decision, its done. I dont mind if you think I am a terrible person for what I've said because I know in my heart that I never had any intention of causing pain so there's no way for me to control how you interpret my messages. At this point, if anything else, you've done more than enough damage & insulting than myself. Still, my goal is not to punish so I'm turning my deaf ear to the unnecessary things youve said. Regardless of what you want to believe, I only want to help. Link to post Share on other sites
omegaRED Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 Umm.... Are you saying you`re treating your gf nice because then she would have sex with you? You take her out to dinner, buy her something nice, so that she can "reward" you with sex afterwards? If you think like that, you`re way off track. Sex is not a woman`s gift to a man. It`s not a reward for treating her nice. It`s physical and emotional bonding of two people, who enjoy eachother and the sex. It`s not the woman`s gift to give, nor just the man`s privilege to recieve. Two people SHARE it. Did you admit to yourself that you didn`t treat her right in the past? I assume yes. But, she did want a second chance (or third or fourth, whatever). So, she wants to be with you. She doesn`t want to lose you. Ok. Correct your mistakes, and don`t repeat them. But, don`t walk on eggshells all the time. It`s obvious that she has feelings for you, and all you have to do is treat her right. That`s all. You don`t need to make up for the past. You don`t need to bury your feelings or desires, if you want to kiss her, kiss her. If she wants to kiss you, let her, and enjoy it. It`s not YOUR place to judge what she wants. If she wants to sleep in the same bed with you, and you want to, the do it, and enjoy it. But for god`s sake, don`t think whether you deserve it or not. If she asks you to do something (go out, kiss, hug, spend the night), then you do deserve it, and you deserve her. Show her kindness, show her your emotions, show her love. Do it slow if you want, but don`t wait for approval before you do anything. And dude, and i am serious, seek some professional help. Self mutilation? Yeesh... I`m not a psychologist here, but i *know* that`s not a heathy thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 I overlooked the ignore feature. I finally found it. I am now putting JDUB on ignore (my no contact list). I thought I would tell her this just in case she has not ignored me yet. Now I won't be tempted to read her posts where she blows hard with her big words! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikita20 Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Grace: You need to get professional help, seriously. I don't think this forum will provide you with answers. I sense that you have some deep rooted problems which probably drove your girlfriend away. She probably couldn't handle the emotional trama anymore and that's why she left you in the first place. You are putting all your blame, pain, frustration on her leaving you. You are acting like a victim. In addition, you are suffering immensely deep down inside because you know the truth, but can't face it and are avoiding it. It is painfully obvious that you don't love yourself and are depressed, hence the self mutilation. You need to see a counselor to sort out your issues. If you don't love yourself, it is impossible to love others. I seriously don't think that it would be healthy for you to pursue a relationship with this girl until you heal yourself and get some professional help. LOVE yourself and get some help--it is the only way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 I already said I didn't want her anymore. I love self mutilation lifestyle more. In the meantime I'm not contacting her until she calls me. When she calls me I'm giving her the break up speech. I do not want any professional help. The professionals cannot help me. I'm going through a spiritual crisis. A blood sacrifice is the only way to relieve my conscience. It was a mistake to take my ex back but she kind of talked me into it. I said I just wanted to be friends. See now the tables have turned. For 2.5 months I wanted her back but the ball was in her court. Now she's more into me than I am into her. She's everything a man could ask for in a woman but at this point in my life I have to reject her love. If I can't earn her love then I don't want it. Now I could just apply NC and disappear and ignore her until she goes away or I could sit down and tell her its over. It's not just with her that I'm rejecting. I'm isolating myself from my friends too. I'm disappearing from their lives too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 Technically speaking I can hide the cuts from self-mutilation. I just have to hide from for 2 weeks. It takes that amount of time for them to heal up and nobody will notice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 At least I don't burn myself like some other insane folks do. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 At least I don't burn myself like some other insane folks do. You need to set up an appointment with a therapist.. you have some issues that you need to get resolved.. You are cutting.. people don't do that.. a therapist can help you work out the issues causing you your internal pain.. Please seek help .. Where are is your family ? Link to post Share on other sites
Extra Truth Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 I know I've said this before but just to reiterate: Perhaps what you mean is should you play hard to get when getting back together, because technically speaking and I know you will argue this but NC is a principle applied to those who are looking for strength to get over someone, not to punish them or use it as a mechanism to get them chasin you. Hi J Dub Why would I want the person I love and cherish, who I was ignorant to have treated badly and to whom I would never treat that way again, to get over me? That's exactly what I don't want. Now that I think of it. So many of these second chance threads are not about a second chance at all, they're all about moving on. I 'm going to start a thread about that, since that hasn't been spoken of clearly here. Thank, J in LA Link to post Share on other sites
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