Seperation/Divorce

[MTR]

Wondering what the chances of a marriage working out. Married for 10 years....and wife cheated and lied along with overcharging on charge cards. She moved out and said she wasn't in love with the husband any longer and it was over. Through the separation, the wife has had some serious relationships. After 10 months of separation (and not seeing each other) the husband started seeing someone and the relationship became serious. About 6 weeks later the divorce was filed. 2 weeks later (after the wife signed the papers), she came back begging to try to work the marriage out before the finalization of the divorce. Husband felt like he needed to give it a try, even though he has extremely strong feelings (including love) for the woman he had been dating for 2 months. What are the chances of this marriage working out? Any help? Any input? Any advice...thanks!

[Scott S]

This marriage has suffered extensive damage.

 

Some additional information would be useful. How long had the lying, cheating & overcharging gone on? Through most of the relationship, or only as it began to degenrate?

 

Reading this, I would say there are numerous strikes against this relationship. Whether it can be saved or salvaged will depend largely on how much effort each is willing to put into it. The external relationships further complicate matters.

 

How does the husband feel about reconciling? Does he wish to, & is he willing to put forth the requisite effort? Feeling "like he needed to give it a try" indicates that he feels more duty-bound than actually willing of his own accord. Does he still love her? Can he put the past behind him, & work together with her to save the marriage?

 

In order to save this marriage, both would need to make up their minds that they still love each other, & that they will do whatever it takes, individually & jointly, to do so.

 

Likely it will be a rocky road.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. when life hands you limes, make margaritas.

[scobro]

How about tell your ex "you snooze you loose".Your wife ended it, now that you have someone she wants you back:rolleyes: .If you take her back I will beat you with the "what the hell are you thinking" stick.

Stay with a women who loves you not loves you leaves you and now loves you again.

[CaliGuy]

Wondering what the chances of a marriage working out. Married for 10 years....and wife cheated and lied along with overcharging on charge cards. She moved out and said she wasn't in love with the husband any longer and it was over. Through the separation, the wife has had some serious relationships. After 10 months of separation (and not seeing each other) the husband started seeing someone and the relationship became serious. About 6 weeks later the divorce was filed. 2 weeks later (after the wife signed the papers), she came back begging to try to work the marriage out before the finalization of the divorce. Husband felt like he needed to give it a try, even though he has extremely strong feelings (including love) for the woman he had been dating for 2 months. What are the chances of this marriage working out? Any help? Any input? Any advice...thanks!

If there is cheating involved, it will be extremely difficult to repair the damage. The constant worry in your mind that she will cheat again will always be there.

 

She shows remorse now, but if things go back to normal, will she stray again? Hard to say but I would very apprehensive about giving it a second shot.

[Mistaken Identity]

I agree that you should stay with the woman who loves you--if you still have a chance with her. Your wife most likely isn't going to change. Most people revert back to their old behavior within a few weeks.