a4a Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 What are your best tips and hints on how to deal with Passive Aggressive people? The option of ignoring them is not there. a4a Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Puke on their shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 Damn Slub again excellent advice! What if I puke on the shoes then bitch slap the person? a4a Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Naaahhh... bitch slapping only drags you to their level. Besides, what if they're bigger than you? If you're REALLY annoyed at them, then in the spring when the weather turns nice, take some fertilizer and spell out a**h*** on their front lawn. In about a week, there will be set of nice dark green letters that will last for months, and no matter how much the lawn is cut, the letters will still be visible. Don't ask me how I know this. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Its mostly about having excellent verbal self-defense. The key is to refuse to enable their behavior. If you post some passive aggressive things you have experienced, I can post some things to say to stymie them. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Play dumb. Pretend that you really don't notice, and you think they agree with you. Like, if they say, "Well....it's up to you...." Respond with an energetic, "Oh, thank goodness!!! I knew I could count on you. I'm sooo glad you agree with me! That's why I like talking to you!!!". It will probably annoy them just about as much as their PA behavior annoys you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 What are your best tips and hints on how to deal with Passive Aggressive people? The option of ignoring them is not there. a4a I have no tips as how to deal with this, because I'm still trying to figure out how to deal because I live with one. It can be trying sometimes, but I would like to learn how is the best way for me to handle/deal with someone like that. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 I am really looking hard into this ....... .. I must have read 50 articles on this last night. Mind boggling..... there is no real advice on how to really handle it. Many people have posted about this lately......... their husbands ect. The people that do not follow through thread also fits the label. The person I am dealing with has some really deep deep issues..... apparently if you confront them they can just get worse... if you ignore them they can just get worse....... it would seem the only way to shut them the hell up is to play their game? or puke on their shoes? I am truly wondering if it is just not another psych term for a**h***! Apparently it is no longer considered a real disorder Even the shrinks got fed up with dealing with PAs? a4a Link to post Share on other sites
nosybear819 Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Hate to be the dummy in the group but exactly what is a passive aggressive person like? Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 http://www.passiveaggressive.homeste.../PATraits.html a person that will be hostile towards you indirectly......IMHO a4a Link to post Share on other sites
NYCmitch25 Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 What are your best tips and hints on how to deal with Passive Aggressive people? The option of ignoring them is not there. a4a IDK, I usually find waving the gun around generally works... What makes people (men) passive agressive ? What makes *this* person passive agressive? Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 They really said that flat out confrontation doesn't work? hmm... I'm horribly passive aggressive, but if someone calls me on it, I'm usually able to pull my head out of my crevice. Most the time I'm just angry, or frustrated, and either don't know how to deal with the situation, or can't vent my frustration and get it out. Actually, there's a lot of reasons I do this, none of them good. I think it'd be funny if you overreacted to them. Not that it'd necessarily work, but it'd definitely be funny. They say they can't help you on a project, even though you know they have the time and can... Instead of reacting as expected, pull a huge sympathy act, or shocked, or excited. Way over board on the whole deal. You say, "I need you're help on this Jones project." They respond, "Uh.. I'm really busy right now, I don't think I could get to it for weeks." You, "OMG. I didn't realize! Would you like your passifier? Oh, what a hard working little person you are. Do you need your diaper changed?" hmm.. in retrospect. I don't think this would work. But it might make you feel better. Unless they took you up on the offer. Then I'd puke in their shoes. I honestly think the best method is talking to them. Point blank ask why they are angry, frustrated. My boss did that to me a few times, and I had a lot more respect for her over it. I stopped being so PA with her. (I hate being PA) We had a lot more open communication after that. But I'm usually PA when I feel there's no availiability for open communication. I usually had tried to talk about a problem prior, and had the door slammed shut. Metaphorically. Or keep a squishy ball in your office. When someone's being PA, throw it at them. It's pretty satisfying when you see it bonk them in the head. Especially their expression of shocked disbelief. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Or keep a squishy ball in your office. When someone's being PA, throw it at them. It's pretty satisfying when you see it bonk them in the head. Especially their expression of shocked disbelief. Or when you see blood erupt from their cranium, when you realize that you hurled a bowling ball instead... Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 You know I think I fed the PA ........ She threw her hissy fit and to keep the peace I offered to take her out to dinner.... gave her attention so to speak..... she got all better for 24 hours........ I am so confused on how to deal with this person I do feel like puking and slapping the **** out of her. I am about ready to blow up..... but then again that is the actual reaction a PA is after....they just do not want to be blamed for causing it..... bang head against wall..... click heels three times....... puke on shoes......wave gun. You know maybe she is just a f-ing bitch and needs to be called on it. " quit being such a f-ing bitch" a4a Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 I've got a great idea. Make a pass at her. Say that you're leaning towards lesbianism and would like to "have" her. oh, I'm SOOOO bad... Link to post Share on other sites
Author a4a Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 OMG I did do that in a way...... I thought she was being upset about her weight and told her right in front of her husband I thought she was attractive and would sleep with her........ I said it in a nice way....... not sarcastic at all. She is going to be at the private office party I posted about..... she is also our relationship hyena.... this **** is getting way too deep and way too fast...... there is no escape from her unless we go NC with the business partner.......not possible...... I am so so looking forward to that being a done deal....... truly am. I think I may just slap her in the face with a t-bone at the xmas party..... I have one week to prepare for this crap....... been hiding from her successfully for 2 weeks...... She throws such fits people sit staring at the damn floor........sad..... really really sad...... I am losing my tolerance. a4a Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 does she make backhand compliments like oh that is really good for you... Or is she insulting in a veiled way? How is she pa? I have had people like this and I juts call them out on it. If they say soemthing ****ty I was like why would you say soemthing like that? Or if they are making veiled insults, which is what I hate the most ask them what do you mean by that etc.. or ignore them. I had a supervisor who was very pa. I hated it and couldn't do anything about it but now I out rank her and she has to kiss my a$$ very sastifying. wiped that smug grin right off her face. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 Did you read this article? http://www.passiveaggressive.homestead.com/Difficult.html Actually, as I read the symptoms of 'passive aggressiveness', they are almost identical to those of AD/HD. PA existed as a diagnosis years before AD/HD did and it's entirely possible that a lot of people diagnosed with PA are actually AD/HD. I imagine the way you'd know is if you follow the tips for dealing with PA and they have zero effect. If a person is using PA to express anger, she might respond. If it's AD/HD, she won't. I think you're stressing yourself way too much over this woman, probably because you're upset that she's been eyeing your spouse. I'm thinking maybe some stress reduction strategies for you are in order. You've made this party and dealing with her out to be a horror show and it doesn't have to be. Link to post Share on other sites
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