should I take extra caution about this?

[Patty]

Today I got a snail mail from a prisoner pen pal.I wasnt expecting it at all.I found it kind of shocking.This person is asking me for a picture.

 

Are there any cautions I should take when writing to a prisoner pen pal?I feel a little uncomfortable writing to a prisoner.I dont know why im feeling this way. I just cant believe a prisoner would write to me.I wasnt expecting this at all.

 

I really feel nervous about writing to him.

 

Is there anything I can do to feel more safe when writing to him?

[Buckeyegal]

If you weren't expecting this, then how did this prisoner get your address? I'd be feeling a little uncomfortable and nervous if I got a letter out of the blue from a prison inmate. Unless you signed up to be penpals with an inmate? If you feel uneasy about this, then simply don't write back, and I certainly would not send a photo, nor give him any personal info such as your address, phone number or last name.

[Patty]

If you weren't expecting this, then how did this prisoner get your address? I'd be feeling a little uncomfortable and nervous if I got a letter out of the blue from a prison inmate. Unless you signed up to be penpals with an inmate? If you feel uneasy about this, then simply don't write back, and I certainly would not send a photo, nor give him any personal info such as your address, phone number or last name.

He must of found my add from the one of the pen pals site.

[Tony T]

1. "I just cant believe a prisoner would write to me.I wasnt expecting this at all."

 

DUH...like he's really got to take time out from his busy schedule to write you...and the 50 other chicks he's writing to.

 

He's already got your address so you're pretty much dead meat if his name is Charles Manson or whoever. In his third or fourth letter to you, he will profess his undying love to you. In his fifth letter he will ask you for money, probably $100. He needs the money for envelopes and stamps to write all the other ladies he writes to and gets money from.

 

The guy's probably pretty lonely in prison. Write him a few lines but why would you want to waste your time with a jailbird. There's simply no future in that. Unless your self esteem is ZERO, write to guys who have more decent backgrounds.

 

As far as your safety, I don't think you have much to worry about. Remember, the prison randomly reads these letters so don't help him plan a break.

 

2. "I really feel nervous about writing to him."

 

So why the hell are you doing it????????????????????

 

3. "Is there anything I can do to feel more safe when writing to him?"

 

Keep your doors locked at night...and be sure NOT to write any other guys in his same cell block. Those guys get pretty jealous...and you know what they do when they get jealous!!!

[Tony T]

1. "He must of found my add from the one of the pen pals site."

 

Go rent a post office box and get your home address out of these ads. Publishing your home address is a really bad idea...especially if rapists and other thugs can get ahold of it.

[Buckeyegal]

Guess I was having a blonde moment, obviously he already has your address. You're talking about a penpal site on the internet? Why in the world would you post your address for every loony out there to see? If you want to have a penpal relationship, you can do it anonomously with people you meet over the net.

If you weren't expecting this, then how did this prisoner get your address? I'd be feeling a little uncomfortable and nervous if I got a letter out of the blue from a prison inmate. Unless you signed up to be penpals with an inmate? If you feel uneasy about this, then simply don't write back, and I certainly would not send a photo, nor give him any personal info such as your address, phone number or last name.

[Patty]

1. "I just cant believe a prisoner would write to me.I wasnt expecting this at all."

 

DUH...like he's really got to take time out from his busy schedule to write you...and the 50 other chicks he's writing to.

Tony, I did'nt mean it like that.I was a little shocked was what I meant. I didnt mean I liked the the guy.I didnt even mean it that way gees.That hurts my feelings.I was just looking for advice that was it but im sorry I asked.

[Tony T]

OK, I stand corrected.

 

I urge you to get your physical address off this site or publication as soon as possible. Use a Post Office box or don't put up an ad at all.

[Patty]

OK, I stand corrected. I urge you to get your physical address off this site or publication as soon as possible. Use a Post Office box or don't put up an ad at all.

I do have a post office box.got one last May.just wasnt expecting a prisiner.I should of put no prisnoers in my add.I didnt think of it untill now.

[Tony T]

Perhaps you live in a very rural area of the United States or the world. However, in most areas it simply isn't a good idea for a single girl to publish her physical address in an ad. While it may prove safe, it only takes one madman, prisoner, rapist, etc. to really botch up the works.

 

It would be great to keep your innocense about this but it's a different world out there. Keep your real name, address, phone number, etc. off of public postings on the Internet and in personal ads in newspapers...for your own safety.

 

I don't think you'll have a problem with this prisoner and in most cases regular correspondence isn't a problem. But you may be the exception. If I were you, I would not write back.

 

Good luck!!!

[marzipan75]

I think you should go with your instincts. If you want to continue corresponding with this person then try to keep it light and simple. Don't send a picture, I don't think that's a good idea. I think that's way too personal and you don't sound like you wanna go there. If you feel unsafe then don't write them back, just sever that tie. I think what you feel is completely natural and warranted. I don't know why the person is in jail and they may not be a bad person but I think it's possible for you to correspond with them without revealing too much personal info about yourself. Do it for your own protection because you never really know who's out there. That may sound a bit biased for people who have some kind of criminal record but that's the difference between you and them, they have a record and you don't.

 

My advice is pursue this if you want but protect yourself by not giving out too much personal information. You can write him back and explain that you don't want to get too personal or you can avoid the requests altogether. If he is not after anything alterior then he will understand your need for caution and if not then he doesn't deserve your friendship.

Today I got a snail mail from a prisoner pen pal.I wasnt expecting it at all.I found it kind of shocking.This person is asking me for a picture. Are there any cautions I should take when writing to a prisoner pen pal?I feel a little uncomfortable writing to a prisoner.I dont know why im feeling this way. I just cant believe a prisoner would write to me.I wasnt expecting this at all. I really feel nervous about writing to him.

 

Is there anything I can do to feel more safe when writing to him?

[Miss Mojo]

hi patty,

 

if you're really worried about this letter, send it back with "return to sender. addressee not at this address".

 

also consider not using a physical address (like a po box), but using an e-mail address instead, like hotmail. hotmail is safer than using the e-mail account provided by your isp. it is also recommended that women don't use their real name when signing up for pen-pals. once you suss a person out, you can then reveal your real name if you like.

 

if possible, change your details on your pen-pal listing and specify "no prisoners"....at least that way, you don't have to worry. maybe you can even try a new pen pal site. scrap your old account and start fresh on another site and carefully specify who you would like to meet, and where you would like mail sent to.

[Been There]

Today I got a snail mail from a prisoner pen pal.I wasnt expecting it at all.I found it kind of shocking.This person is asking me for a picture. Are there any cautions I should take when writing to a prisoner pen pal?I feel a little uncomfortable writing to a prisoner.I dont know why im feeling this way. I just cant believe a prisoner would write to me.I wasnt expecting this at all. I really feel nervous about writing to him.

 

Is there anything I can do to feel more safe when writing to him?

STOP!

 

Pull your head together girl! This guy's a looser and any kind of contact with him will not be beneficial to you. Stop focusing on "fantasy relationships" and invest your time and effort in a real one.

 

Case in point...

 

Dated a man who's mother became involved with an inmate. First as just a pen-pal to cheer him up. But she was lonely, and he was desparate. When the time finally came for his release, they quickly set up house. She moved him in thinking she was going to help him...even change him.

 

Because of his record he had difficulty finding a job. His frustration got the best of him and he started slipping back into old patterns. Then came the fights...and then...he murdered her. My friend said he had to go identify the body. Said the man had bashed her head in so bad he could barely recognize his own mother.

 

Please Patty, for your own good...cut the ties now! You deserve better!