Pity party post

[MarcoInaros]

I feel like crap tonight.

 

I am 25 and have never had a girlfriend, no flings, never had sex or even kissed a girl. I will be 26 soon.

 

Now I have made some massive steps recently towards improving myself. For instance, I have started an internship to get my foot into a career that is a hell of a lot better than my current retail job. I also joined a gym where I work out 4-5 times a week, and have gotten more toned. Also I bought a new car. Also I am taking antidepressants ( which I hate BTW ). Now I just need some new clothes.

 

But still I am totally unused to touching or being intimate. I don't know what warmth is and people say I am too serious. I am cold and distant and I am having a severe problem meeting new people and turing them into friends.

 

Thanks for reading my rant, I feel a little better now, but still depressed.

[tinktronik]

I feel like crap tonight.

 

I am 25 and have never had a girlfriend, no flings, never had sex or even kissed a girl. I will be 26 soon.

 

Now I have made some massive steps recently towards improving myself. For instance, I have started an internship to get my foot into a career that is a hell of a lot better than my current retail job. I also joined a gym where I work out 4-5 times a week, and have gotten more toned. Also I bought a new car. Also I am taking antidepressants ( which I hate BTW ). Now I just need some new clothes.

 

But still I am totally unused to touching or being intimate. I don't know what warmth is and people say I am too serious. I am cold and distant and I am having a severe problem meeting new people and turing them into friends.

 

Thanks for reading my rant, I feel a little better now, but still depressed.

 

It sounds as if you are working hard on improving yourself.first question is, does it really matter if others seem to think you are too serious? Some women like serious men.If you really are cold and distant, do you know why?Were there specific reasons you feel led up to being emotionally closed off?

Also you said you are taking antidepressants, so I'm guessing you have been depressed , well this is a start I suppose, your doing something to help yourself and it sounds as if your working very hard at it Jeff. Just make sure your improving yourself for yourself and not to impress or draw in others. Without more info. I really can't add anymore.

[Sandyshine]

You have to be yourself, but if "you" are all about "improving myself" , then others may not be so interested.

 

What do you do just for fun? work on that so you can share your fun with others. Have a sense of humor! Be happy to go it alone, so you don't seem desparate.

 

If you've been 'hitting" on women, try stopping. (but be near women)

If you haven't been hitting on them, try doing so. See what happens.

[MarcoInaros]

Tinktronick - I have made some progress in not being so serious...I laugh and joke around with coworkers and friends, but most people would say I am reserved and some would say I am quiet. But I don't know why attractive girls don't give me a chance. Perhaps they see me as an underachiever, and not as an attractive partner than other guys that hit on them. Since women initiate nothing I am at a severe disadvantage right now because whenever I initiave anything they sense that I am not a potential boyfriend and toss me aside.

 

Sandayshine I haven't really hit on women but I do ask out girls I am attracted to. Maybe I just haven't meet enough girls. It's hard to find attractive, single girls, especially when you don't have much of a social network like me. I guess the internet is an option, but most of them are fat or have a mental problem. In the meantime I will continue to improve myself so that I can feel better about myself and maybe be more attractive to other.s

[SmoochieFace]

It's hard to find attractive, single girls, especially when you don't have much of a social network like me. I guess the internet is an option, but most of them are fat or have a mental problem.

 

Here's your problem. Right here.

 

This sounds like another one of those *nice guy* rants... you're depressed and lonely cuz you believe that it is *hard* to find attractive single girls.

 

*Nice guy* whines about how he hasn't had a girlfriend and hasn't had sex cuz there aren't any girls out there... well, there ARE but you just dismissed many of them by saying they are *fat* or have *mental problems*.

 

Are you *attractive*? Or are you *average*? Are you perhaps going *out of your league*? Why wouldn't you give an *average* girl a chance?

 

As far as *mental problems*... who are you to judge someone's sanity? Hmmm?

[penkitten]

some of us arent fat and do not have mental problems.

some of us are single moms and some of us have herpes.

 

theres always something to complain about.

[MarcoInaros]

Here's your problem. Right here.

 

This sounds like another one of those *nice guy* rants... you're depressed and lonely cuz you believe that it is *hard* to find attractive single girls.

 

*Nice guy* whines about how he hasn't had a girlfriend and hasn't had sex cuz there aren't any girls out there... well, there ARE but you just dismissed many of them by saying they are *fat* or have *mental problems*.

 

Are you *attractive*? Or are you *average*? Are you perhaps going *out of your league*? Why wouldn't you give an *average* girl a chance?

 

As far as *mental problems*... who are you to judge someone's sanity? Hmmm?

 

So what if I have dismissed them? I have standards. Are you telling me that I shouldn't have standards?

 

Should I want to go out with a girl who screwed around and has an STD? Or a fat depressed girl who doesn't take care of herself or improve herself? Or some broad who was dumb enough to get knocked up while in an uncomitted relationship and has an unwanted kid?

 

No! I deserve an attractive, STD free, single girl who has a pleasant demeanor and character. Is that so much to ask? Is it wrong to look for a girl without baggage?

 

No, it isn't. I am not a nice guy, whatever that is. I just have standards.

[Neptune]

No! I deserve an attractive, STD free, single girl who has a pleasant demeanor and character. Is that so much to ask? Is it wrong to look for a girl without baggage?

 

Way too much to ask:laugh:

[penkitten]

then keep looking mr 26 yr old never kissed a girl because there isnt a perfect match out there without baggage.

 

one in every four people are going to have an std such as herpes or hpv and those stds wont kill you. beware of the kind that can kill you like aids. futhermore, you can catch herpes with condom use . http://www.herpes.com

 

only 64 precent of all americans are obsese.

http://usgovinfo.about.com/cs/healthmedical/a/hhsobesity.htm

 

 

more than one in five women were never married and had children http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/000778.html

 

only 45% of women between 25 to 29 never had children http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/000778.html

 

age 30-34 only 27.6 % of women havent had children

http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/000778.html

 

 

52.1% of women are seperated from their husbands

http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/SAFFFacts?_sse=on

[drgnflybethany]

Geee... for a man that hasn't had a girlfriend or been kissed... you're awfully judgmental about the people that have gone out - thrown caution to the wind and actually tried to LIVE!

 

Many women are in committed relationships with men who leave right after they found out their girlfriend is pregnant - and many men (though there are definitely less of them out there) have had to take on the role of single parent because a woman has left him and the child.

 

STDs - woah boy - where do we begin? First off - most people don't get tested - not near as often as they should... so, even if you are in a committed relationship, you may not know if your partner has one...

 

"No! I deserve an attractive, STD free, single girl who has a pleasant demeanor and character. Is that so much to ask? Is it wrong to look for a girl without baggage?"

 

So - what - the rest of us deserve the rest of society? For crying out loud - you went from not thinking highly of yourself, to thinking the world owes you somebody. Not everyone in life will find their someone wonderful - and right now, I'd go with the "fat chick with the mental problems sitting behind the computer" over you - any day of the week and twice on Sundays... why? Because at least, she's real - not full of herself... fabulous - and she understands the kind of car you drive, the tone of your body, are nothing if you aren't accepting of other people - and pretty much, not even then.

 

When you start treating people with respect - maybe then - and only then, will your dreams come true...

 

Until then - when you walk a mile in a person's shoes - only then can you truly know the path their journey has taken them on.

[penkitten]

she words things much more nicely than i could.

[Neptune]

lostjeff,

You may want to check out a Trappist monastery. They have pretty high standards.

[just some guy]

one in every four people are going to have an std such as herpes or hpv and those stds wont kill you. beware of the kind that can kill you like aids. futhermore, you can catch herpes with condom use . http://www.herpes.com

 

only 64 precent of all americans are obsese.

http://usgovinfo.about.com/cs/healthmedical/a/hhsobesity.htm

 

only 45% of women between 25 to 29 never had children http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/000778.html

 

52.1% of women are seperated from their husbands

http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/SAFFFacts?_sse=on

With just those 4 statistics, a woman without std's, not obese, without children and haven't divorced makes up only 6.33% of the population.

 

Statistically, your odds aren't that great; 93.67% of the female population for your age doesn't fit your standards, and this isn't even all the statistics.

[penkitten]

With just those 4 statistics, a woman without std's, not obese, without children and haven't divorced makes up only 6.33% of the population.

 

Statistically, your odds aren't that great; 93.67% of the female population for your age doesn't fit your standards, and this isn't even all the statistics.

 

i googled each of them the best i could

if you think you can do the numbers, be my guest

numbers really arent my thing, however i was making a point.

the point is everyone has some baggage, even the guy who made the thread.

thats all i was aiming for.

[just some guy]

i googled each of them the best i could

if you think you can do the numbers, be my guest

numbers really arent my thing, however i was making a point.

the point is everyone has some baggage, even the guy who made the thread.

thats all i was aiming for.

Your numbers are all good, nothing wrong with them. I was just putting them together to show the thread starter how impractical he is being in expecting all that.

[MarcoInaros]

Geee... for a man that hasn't had a girlfriend or been kissed... you're awfully judgmental about the people that have gone out - thrown caution to the wind and actually tried to LIVE!

 

Many women are in committed relationships with men who leave right after they found out their girlfriend is pregnant - and many men (though there are definitely less of them out there) have had to take on the role of single parent because a woman has left him and the child.

 

STDs - woah boy - where do we begin? First off - most people don't get tested - not near as often as they should... so, even if you are in a committed relationship, you may not know if your partner has one...

 

"No! I deserve an attractive, STD free, single girl who has a pleasant demeanor and character. Is that so much to ask? Is it wrong to look for a girl without baggage?"

 

So - what - the rest of us deserve the rest of society? For crying out loud - you went from not thinking highly of yourself, to thinking the world owes you somebody. Not everyone in life will find their someone wonderful - and right now, I'd go with the "fat chick with the mental problems sitting behind the computer" over you - any day of the week and twice on Sundays... why? Because at least, she's real - not full of herself... fabulous - and she understands the kind of car you drive, the tone of your body, are nothing if you aren't accepting of other people - and pretty much, not even then.

 

When you start treating people with respect - maybe then - and only then, will your dreams come true...

 

Until then - when you walk a mile in a person's shoes - only then can you truly know the path their journey has taken them on.

 

Your reply is BS and I will tell you why. You do not know the journey that I have gone through to reach this certain point in life, and there are some very valid reasons why I am in this situation which you are not aware of and that I will not share on this post, but they were medical in nature.

 

Ironic that you would judge me by saying that I am judgemental.

 

I am not a pompous jerk which you are claiming that I am, because if I were you and most of your gender would be clamoring all over me. I am a great guy and I deserve a great girl, and for you to say otherwise is evidence of your own insecurities.

 

So you would chose a fat girl over me? Are you a lesbian? But fine, if physical characteristics are not important to you then so be it, I don't care. We simply differ on that point. But I exercise and I would prefer a girl that prefered to live a healthy livestyle as well, thats all.

 

It is not wrong to have standards.

[Devildog]

I am not a pompous jerk which you are claiming that I am, because if I were you and most of your gender would be clamoring all over me. I am a great guy and I deserve a great girl

 

Sound kinda full of yourself to me. Dude, just because you feel you "deserve" something doesn't mean the rest of the world has the same view. I think I deserve a Million dollars, but no one else seems to hold this same opinion.

 

But I exercise and I would prefer a girl that prefered to live a healthy livestyle as well, thats all.

 

It is not wrong to have standards.

 

No! I deserve an attractive, STD free, single girl who has a pleasant demeanor and character. Is that so much to ask? Is it wrong to look for a girl without baggage?

 

So you think you "deserve" an attractive, physically fit girl who is funny, witty, intelligent, morally upstanding, childless woman. I guess you would prefer a virgin as well, right? How about rich? She could support you and feed you grapes as you lounge on the couch in the oppulent manor she provides for you then.

 

If you think you "deserve" a woman like that, you obviously don't.

[penkitten]

Your numbers are all good, nothing wrong with them. I was just putting them together to show the thread starter how impractical he is being in expecting all that.

we seem to have the same veiw on it. im not trying to be rude by telling him its just impossible, however im certain that only one human was ever perfect and we call him the almighty jesus.

[SmoochieFace]

More of this *entitlement* garbage... when in the hell will people understand that they are not *entitled* to anything simply because they exist!

[Craig]

More of this *entitlement* garbage... when in the hell will people understand that they are not *entitled* to anything simply because they exist!

You are entitled to your opinion.

[SmoochieFace]

You are entitled to your opinion.

 

You wanna pick nits... fine... go for it.

 

*Entitlement* as in *oh, I'm so f***in' cool that I am entitled to have the hottest woman around* or *I am so smart that I am entitled to have the highest paying job in town* or *I have a bunch of degrees and titles so I am entitled to have my very own parking space paved in gold* or *I am so chic and "hip" in the fashion department with my clothes and manicures/pedicures that I am entitled to have my name in lights and be surrounded by female trophies (even though he looks like one of those metrosexual sissies)*. Those senses of entitlement.

 

Utter unadulterated bulls***!

[tinktronik]

Your reply is BS and I will tell you why. You do not know the journey that I have gone through to reach this certain point in life, and there are some very valid reasons why I am in this situation which you are not aware of and that I will not share on this post, but they were medical in nature.

 

Ironic that you would judge me by saying that I am judgemental.

 

I am not a pompous jerk which you are claiming that I am, because if I were you and most of your gender would be clamoring all over me. I am a great guy and I deserve a great girl, and for you to say otherwise is evidence of your own insecurities.

 

So you would chose a fat girl over me? Are you a lesbian? But fine, if physical characteristics are not important to you then so be it, I don't care. We simply differ on that point. But I exercise and I would prefer a girl that prefered to live a healthy livestyle as well, thats all.

 

It is not wrong to have standards.

 

Jeff,

I dont think you wrong for wanting a "not fat" std free ,and at 25 not - yet- married woman who hasent already had children. I would suspect that many of the same statistics apply to many of the same women so your chances are probably greater than the 6.whaterver% is being claimed here. There are plenty of nice girls out there and you wanting one to have their own standards is not wrong. I think its great to have standards .Its your life .Why would you want someone without the self controll to take care of their body?

You dont have to be pompous to not want to have an std , comeon this is ridiculous....

[MarcoInaros]

Jeff,

I dont think you wrong for wanting a "not fat" std free ,and at 25 not - yet- married woman who hasent already had children. I would suspect that many of the same statistics apply to many of the same women so your chances are probably greater than the 6.whaterver% is being claimed here. There are plenty of nice girls out there and you wanting one to have their own standards is not wrong. I think its great to have standards .Its your life .Why would you want someone without the self controll to take care of their body?

You dont have to be pompous to not want to have an std , comeon this is ridiculous....

 

Exactly. The other people on this post want partners with STDs who are fat and depressed and have unwanted babies. Well all the power to them, I don't care.

 

But no, of course I do not expect a girl my age to be a virgin, that would be rediculous. Most girls, especially the attractive ones have sex by the time they are 20. I really wouldn't mind a girl that was more experienced than me because she could teach me a few things and she would know what she wants. I really wouldn't care how much of an income she made as long as she had a career and worked, like me.

 

And I never said that I was entitled to a great girl. We are not entitled to anything in this life. But I did say that I deserved one, and there is a distinct difference between the two.

[SmoochieFace]

The other people on this post want partners with STDs who are fat and depressed and have unwanted babies.

 

Typical ignorant *shot*... no-one actually said anything about *wanting* fat, depressed, and STD-riddled partners.

 

Changing the subject just a tad: Why are you *deserving* of an *attractive* girl? What do you have to offer that would make one of those *attractive* girls drool over you?

[drgnflybethany]

Your reply is BS and I will tell you why. You do not know the journey that I have gone through to reach this certain point in life, and there are some very valid reasons why I am in this situation which you are not aware of and that I will not share on this post, but they were medical in nature.

 

Ironic that you would judge me by saying that I am judgemental.

 

I am not a pompous jerk which you are claiming that I am, because if I were you and most of your gender would be clamoring all over me. I am a great guy and I deserve a great girl, and for you to say otherwise is evidence of your own insecurities.

 

So you would chose a fat girl over me? Are you a lesbian? But fine, if physical characteristics are not important to you then so be it, I don't care. We simply differ on that point. But I exercise and I would prefer a girl that prefered to live a healthy livestyle as well, thats all.

 

It is not wrong to have standards.

 

Woah dude... first off - I never judged you. I told you in my own terms, all be it maybe not as plainly and simply as I'm about to say it here - no one wakes up one day, opens the front door, and says, "you know what - I deserve my true love to just *plop* fall out of the sky right in front of me." And really expects it to happen - if they do, that's a separate issue entirely.

 

What is apparent, is you have attitude issues - not judging - stating FACT, as evidenced by your posts not only to me but to others.

 

Whether I'm straight or gay, shouldn't matter in this determination. What does matter is whether or not people want to be around you. The point I was making is, I would take the pleasant, laughing, thought-provoking, smart person sitting behind a computer, be it a "fat girl" or "skinny boy" who treated me with respect any day of the week and twice on Sunday over a toned jackass with the personality of a cockroach who whines about the fact that he deserves a woman who is 25 and under, without baggage or no children or no STD's, etc.

 

The reality exists, that if you get to 25 without baggage, male or female - you're simply doing something wrong, as we all have emotions - and with those emotions come baggage, plain and simple. You, by the way, have a LOT of baggage.

 

So, explain to me, why - if you had medical problems up until now, you would feel if a girl looked at you, liked everything she saw but said - oh, sorry - I can't date you - you've got medical baggage.

 

Just as I don't know the first thing about you and your history, you don't know the first thing about the people that you are so willingly ready and able to flit away because of one or two issues they may have experienced in their past. So, why - why shouldn't we judge you - when you so clearly judge everyone else?

 

I agree - it's not wrong to have standards - but don't put your standards at so high a level no one can possibly reach it. Then, possibly you will no longer be alone.

 

Also - don't come on here, seeking advice and go ballistic when we tell you how you sound and how you seem to treat people. It's simply NOT polite.

 

You want one of those women you keep describing? Seriously? Take an etiquette class. Because, quite honestly, I'm one of those 6% and I find your attitude, manners, and just over all tone to be so condescendingly rude, I would not look at you twice.