Moai Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 I have had more than my share (sadly) of relationships where I wanted to sleep with the woman and she didn't with me, but we were very close otherwise--waste of time, obviously. I have noticed that women have no problem dealing with the fact that they don't want to sleep with you. It makes sense to them, it is black and white, and if you are the unfortunate guy you had just better deal and not get weird because that's the way that it is. On the other hand, if a woman really likes you as a friend, and tells you she loves you all the time blah blah blah, that is supposed to mean that you feel the same way back. And when you don't they FREAK OUT! Why is that? If a woman says, "you're my best friend" does that automatically mean that I should feel the same way? Because I don't. And it isn't as if I am mean or don't like her back, but most women I see as all the same--that is, fun, funny, cool to hang out with, and that's it--unless she's my girlfriend. Why is that? I guess what I am saying is that women seem to understand unbalanced physical feelings perfectly, but unbalanced emotional feelings not at all. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 If a woman says, "you're my best friend" does that automatically mean that I should feel the same way? Because I don't. Then don't hang out with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moai Posted December 10, 2005 Author Share Posted December 10, 2005 Then don't hang out with them. I am not sure what you mean? Every girl I know can't be my "best friend" can they? I can't avoid hanging out with them, as they are friends of friends also and I see them all the time. And it isn't as if they aren't nice or they are weird or anything. Well, one is.... It's just that because they feel that they can share everything with me, I am supposed to share everything back. And it doesn't work that way. And it seems that they don't get the fact that it is up to me what I share about myself and my feelings, not them. And it isn't always equally bad. In some cases no big deal at all, down to a total freak out. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 It's just that because they feel that they can share everything with me, I am supposed to share everything back. Don't share anything, otherwise you're doomed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moai Posted December 10, 2005 Author Share Posted December 10, 2005 Don't share anything, otherwise you're doomed. That is a true fact. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 And it isn't always equally bad. In some cases no big deal at all, down to a total freak out. Well, it sounds as if the people who don't make a big deal about you not sharing certain things with them aren't really presenting any problem. As to anyone who freaks out about it, it's probably best to just avoid them if they can't calm down and accept your need for privacy regarding certain matters. I can't see that anyone who behaves like that would last very long in any social circle - so maybe this will just be a temporary problem? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 I am not sure what you mean? Every girl I know can't be my "best friend" can they? I can't avoid hanging out with them, as they are friends of friends also and I see them all the time. And it isn't as if they aren't nice or they are weird or anything. Well, one is.... It's just that because they feel that they can share everything with me, I am supposed to share everything back. And it doesn't work that way. And it seems that they don't get the fact that it is up to me what I share about myself and my feelings, not them. And it isn't always equally bad. In some cases no big deal at all, down to a total freak out. I completely get what you are saying. I have had a friend that Ive not seen in a while say something like " i feel were so close" but i hadent seen them in months .When they asked me to reciprocate , I was honest and it hurt their feelings. I said "no I dont feel all that close to you , I havent seen you in months." I dont see anything wrong with this , its the truth.Im not here to coddle or make anyone feel like their life is so wonderful,thats their own job.If you enjoy hanging out with someone, go for it, thats fine, they dont have to be you end all be all .Its up to you what level of friendship you want to have with someone , thats yours and not someone elses to decide. Good for you standing your ground on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts