ciara12step Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 Me and my girl have been dating for about 5 weeks now .. she tends to have alot of ex bf's. the thing with her and her ex bf's is that she's in touch with all of them and holds them as friends still .. She doesnt hide anything as far as when she talks to them, she'll talk openly in front of me right to them .. But there is this one particular ex boyfriend (the last ex she dated for about 1 year) whom she is close friends with still .. he knows were together, and he showed up at a nightclub twice drunk like no tomorrow, and told her its hard for him to see her and me together, and he gave her the guilt trip and said theres a possibility he can drive home drunk and get in an accident .. her being concerned, she said she had to make sure he was okay or that would be on her conscience for life, and kinda sent me home and said dont worry we'll be ok .. that night i was too anxious so i went to her house, and he had already sobered up and he went home but after a big pout. this past week me and her went on vacation with several people, and the people were too rowdy and partyish for us, which led us to frustration and we kinda argued, and then she uses her cell phone and calls her ex boyfriend only because she hasnt known me that long and she wanted to talk to someone she knew for a long time, altho theres nothing romantic between her and her ex .. so my question is .. how should i deal with these things ? since this vacation kinda frustrated us, were takin a few days break from eachother, but what meant alot to me is that she called me last night and said i called u to let u know im not ignoring u .. and we'll see eachother in a few days .. so how should i handle all this ?? thank u for takin the time to read Link to post Share on other sites
Kitteney Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 About the talking to her ex's in front of you--rude. About the drunk ex that she felt she needed to take home--no one is responsible for anyone else's actions. She could have just as easily poured his sloppy a$$ into a taxi and had him delivered to his own home. Or you could have driven him home with her following and then you and her go from there. About the vacation thing--if she hasn't known you long enough to discuss the problems that arose on your trip, well, then perhaps you two haven't known each other long enough to take a vacation together. Did she call her ex to discuss the argument that you two had or was she complaining about the other people who had gotten rowdy? Either way, don't you think she should have been discussing the matter with you? Sounds like she's having a hard time knowing who she is supposed to be with. Let her know you have a problem with this. If she doesn't see it your way, and you are unwilling to accept it, then perhaps you should move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 I've stayed friends with a few of my ex's. Friends are friends. If it bothers you, let her know. If she cares enough for you then she'll make an effort to make you feel more secure. I don't think you have anything to worry about though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ciara12step Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 thanks for responding kitteney and zaira .. when her ex got drunk, she said she couldnt hold it on her conscience if somethin would of happened to him, so she helped him sober up and a couple hours later he went home, but not after he banged on all the doors in her apartment at 3 am in the morning asking for his keys .. when she called her ex from our vacation, she was complaining about how people were rowdy and she felt comfortable to call someone she had known for a long time (which didnt include me) .. i was tryin to talk to it with her, but she seemed frustrated to talk to anyone there .. she was actually coming down with the flu she doesnt feel any romantic type of feelings for her ex and has made it extremely clear with me, she always will talk to him on the phone right in front of me with nothing to hide, she just feels that theyre friendship is very important still .. its hard to compete with someone who has history with someone .. since we got back from vacation, we are on like a 3 day break of not talkin to cool things down. she did call me the next day tho, just to let me know that she's not ignoring me and that shes been working .. oh and on the last day of our vacation, she seemed to be a lil more distant, like we would hold hands, then she would pull away and fold arms for a second, and then i would ask her whats wrong, and then everything just comes out and she says i dont think were compatible, we ended up havin disagreements, she walked away, and we separated for a few hours, only to find eachother again, break down, cry, and then talk about havin a break for a few days .. but we are still exclusive to eachother .. i see her tomorrow or the next day (after 3 days without contact except for a goodnight text) , and im kinda lost on how to act .. any suggestions ? Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 She does sound too involved with this guy, and I can understand why you're feeling like you do. The best thing is to try and talk it through with her. Feeling second rate isn't the best, especially in comparison to an ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ciara12step Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 yea we talked it out a few days ago and she said that he's nothing more then just a friend that she cares about alot becuz of the history they have, she said theres no threat whatsoever, altho she said he does want her back, she says she doesnt want him back .. i dont even know how to face her when i see her again .. so confused Link to post Share on other sites
Author ciara12step Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 any other advice would be greatly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
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