adore-la-vie Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 I just discovered that my boyfriend cheated on me 10 months ago. Even though I knew deep down inside that it was true, 10 months ago, I finally uncovered the evidence. He of course is still denying it but inside, I know its true. My question is this: do we go through stages of grief when we find out the love of our life has betrayed us? I know that he cheated, there is no doubt about it, but I feel completely numb. I am a little angry, a little sad, I haven't cried about it yet (maybe because 10 months ago I cried an ocean?), and I am pretty much numb. I kind of feel like I don't care. I don't know if this is just my way of handling it just to get through it or not. Has anyone else felt this way? I guess I just feel weird about the way I feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Allalone Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 What has given you the proof that he did? Link to post Share on other sites
Kitteney Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 I'm hoping that since this happened 10 months ago and you are just now uncovering the evidence of his infidelity that the "evidence" is not a child. In which case, I would say to back off. He has other responsibilities that need his full attention. Other than that, the grieving process... there are stages to it and everyone moves through them at their own pace. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. These come from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's "On Death and Dying". While this guy has not died, you are indeed experiencing a loss. That loss would be trust. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 ...but inside, I know its true. Don't base the potential destruction of an otherwise-good relationship on what you "feel" may be true, without either concrete evidence or an admission by him. Feelings lie all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author adore-la-vie Posted December 13, 2005 Author Share Posted December 13, 2005 To make a long story short, I had my suspicions that he had cheated, I did some investigating which took some time, and the girl he cheated with finally confessed to me what happened. He is denying everything she is saying - which is usually typical of cheaters. He states that he only knew her as a sister to some guy he met very briefly (including he only knew her for a quick second) but she is telling me things that she couldn't possibly know about unless they were talking, hooking up, hanging out, etc. Second, the evidence is not a child (thank god). Third, I followed my instincts, which are usually right, and they ended up being correct. Instincts are powerful tools. Link to post Share on other sites
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