lilmoma1973 Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 Read post 1. She wants to know if he wants to fXck her. Of course he does If you live in Australia, chances are you'll have to share him with another few chicks. LOL!!! It is obvious you want us to tell you to sleep with him because you haven't heard a word we all have said that it is wrong and you should try to put your energy back into your marriage and quit worrying if your dentist wants to sleep with you!! If you decide this except the consequense of what will happen.. You don't know that if you sleep with this OM whether or not he will leave his wife !! My guess it will be nothing but a fling and if you leave your h and he won't leave his wife will it all be worth it for some meanless sex that may not amount to anything!! If it was me i would get to a marriage counselor and quit putting all your time and energy worrying if this OM is wanting to fu@@ you and be wanting to fU@@ your man you already have!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author michellebelle Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 michelle, what IS your question? Thankyou-Is he flirting or is he being friendly.?Am I reading his signals wrong.? For all of you who have replied to replies PLEASE go back and read the FIRST post.This is getting rediculous. I already said that I wasnt looking for a morality lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 PROBABLY, he is flirting. almost definetly he is flirting. whether that means he wants to do anything about it, is a whole different matter. are you thinking of just keeping this strictly as a no strings sexual affair? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 Thankyou-Is he flirting or is he being friendly.?Am I reading his signals wrong.? For all of you who have replied to replies PLEASE go back and read the FIRST post.This is getting rediculous. I already said that I wasnt looking for a morality lesson. We understand that but when you ask for opinions and advice be expected to get some you may not like especially when your already committed and so is the OM !! You shouldn't post if you don't like what we have to say !!Just MO!! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 as a no strings sexual affair? That's a myth. She's unhappy in her marriage. She will invest this 'dream guy' (the one who tells the LAST woman that he told he loved lies to be with a new one) all her dissatisfaction, picture him the romantic hero who will save her and give her the life of passion and excitement she dreams of, and fall for him. It's a no-brainer, michelle. There are some men who will get sex where they can so they'll flirt because it works. I'd not be complimented if I were you. I'd be grossed out. It's like the fish being all happy that someone's dangling a worm in her face Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 I got married because I got pregnant. It really is unfair to stay married to someone who you don't really love. Don't stay with him because you're comfortable and feel safe. Don't you think HE deserves (your husband) a woman who will love just him? You are responsible and accountable for your actions. Either work on the marrige, get help, find out what is missing to make things better or get a divorce. I really believe you should be on your own for a while. Even if this other guy is curious and flirting with you - WHAT good can come out of it? What about your child in this mess? Link to post Share on other sites
Author michellebelle Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 PROBABLY, he is flirting. almost definetly he is flirting. whether that means he wants to do anything about it, is a whole different matter. are you thinking of just keeping this strictly as a no strings sexual affair? Thankyou- I am totally aware of what you guys are saying.I'm no idiot and no I dont live in Australia.I'm totally aware that its a stupid thing to do. If I'm mistaking flirting for harmless friendliness then i will let go.Yes i love the person that I'm married to but not in love,hes VERY boring.He takes life very seriously,he has to analize everything.I want someone to have fun with.I want someone who will throw caution to the wind and just have a good time.Even if its a short term fling.So yes no-strings.I have been a devoted mom for 12 years,I have sacrificed alot.I want something that is for me and me alone for once.I already know its morally wrong so i really dont need the lectures. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 I wasn't lecturing you. My suggestion, and if you take it as nagging at you or lecturing you, that's your spin of it...is work on the marriage. TALK to your husband. Go do something fun together. Another point is, have a girls night out every week. That is what girl friends are for! Having fun, being silly and laughing! Just is dangerous doing that with a man...Leaves the door open a crack... Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 I wasn't lecturing you. My suggestion, and if you take it as nagging at you or lecturing you, that's your spin of it...is work on the marriage. TALK to your husband. Go do something fun together. Yeah, that'll fix everything. Where on earth do you get the idea that these things are so simple? One thing I've learned being married is you don't change people. If you can't live with the traits you don't like, someone else is likely to come into your life to compensate. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 One thing I've learned being married is you don't change people. If you can't live with the traits you don't like, someone else is likely to come into your life to compensate How's about if you can't live with the traits you don't like, get the hell out? Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 How's about if you can't live with the traits you don't like, get the hell out? If everyone thought like that, the divorce rate would be close to 100%. What happens is you accept those traits. But then if you are still somewhat attractive, you unexpectedly meet someone who is the opposite of your spouse, and they seem like a savior. Most of the time, it's not worth ending the marriage over it, but in a few cases it is. And it's never easy - there's no textbook way to handle the situation. And most importantly, no amount of morality can block two people from having feelings for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Thanks for all the help guys.What I didnt say is that this guy is my dentist. Just caught that comment as I was scrolling through the thread. That whole Aussie Mandy story was such BS, I couldn't take it. By tossing this little nugget of info halfway through the discussion, you lose credibility with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 And most importantly, no amount of morality can block two people from having feelings for each other. It's not 'morality' per se. It's common decency. People don't fall in love overnight. They start with the glances, the flirtation, blah blah blah. At any of these points, the potential affair can be stopped. So I am NOT buying this 'fate and destiny and true love' stuff. Marriage is broken, fix it or leave. If everyone thought like that, the divorce rate would be close to 100%. Oh really. Kindly provide backup. I'm looking for academic studies. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 I'm looking for academic studies. I'm sure you are, because you don't seem to have much insight into reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Oh really. Well tell me what the 'reality' is that makes it ok to lie to and deceive a woman you promised never to betray. Please do enlighten me. Because all I've heard is whining and 'poor deprived me' and that's just not cutting it. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Because all I've heard is whining and 'poor deprived me' and that's just not cutting it. And all I've heard is silly, unrealistic preaching that's not even worth a response. Get a grip on reality, and then maybe we'll talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Bluff called. Thanks for playing. Ta ta. Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Well tell me what the 'reality' is that makes it ok to lie to and deceive a woman you promised never to betray. Please do enlighten me. Man up, beyotch. I must admit I'm dying to hear your response. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 I must admit I'm dying to hear your response. Why? So you can learn something to? Fine. Betrayal is a lot more than lying. I was in a no-intercourse OW situation six years ago, and my wife knew what was happening soon after it started. I didn't suddenly say we were through, and today, both she and I are glad I didn't. We had a lot of issues to work through, but if I had done what the fools on this board preach, I would have just ended my marriage. A lot of the comments here make it seem like there's some sort of moral guidebook you look up to figure out what to do, but in practice, it's much more complicated and detailed than that. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Bluff called. Thanks for playing. Ta ta. My God you're pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 We had a lot of issues to work through, but if I had done what the fools on this board preach, I would have just ended my marriage. No, had you done what 'the fools on the board preach' you would have tried to FIX IT before you decided to ditch it. Which is what the 'fools' have said repeatedly. So let's recap. You've discovered that a marriage can be repaired if the issues are faced and dealt with. Wow. Now explain please why an affair is required when one could merely - now try to follow this 1. face the issues and (there's another step - wait for it) 2. DEAL WITH THEM Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 A lot of the comments here make it seem like there's some sort of moral guidebook you look up to figure out what to do, but in practice, it's much more complicated and detailed than that.When you are married, you don't allow yourself to be in situations where there is a possibility for something to evolve. It doesn't matter if there is someone else that you "think" has the traits you want. You are married, you made a commitment and you live up to it. You forsake all others. Either you fix what you have or get out and set your mate free to find someone that will appreciate the traits she has. In what way specifically could it be complicated or detailed? Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 When you are married, you don't allow yourself to be in situations where there is a possibility for something to evolve. You mean like going to work and unexpectedly having feelings for a colleague? In 1999? When I was making bundles off the dot com boom and had everything to lose by having an affair? Today I have a 2 year old daughter who wouldn't have been born if my wife and I hadn't stayed together. So I'm fortunate things worked out. But as a result of what happened to us, we work hard to make sure our marriage doesn't fall into the same house maintenance/child care rut that many of our friends have sunk into. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Travellingman, what I meant was when you are married you don't put yourself into situations where an affair might evolve. If you never give it a chance it can't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Travellingman, what I meant was when you are married you don't put yourself into situations where an affair might evolve. If you never give it a chance it can't happen. So you become a robot, and stop having feelings. It's unfortunately natural some of the time, especially when you're not looking for it. Link to post Share on other sites
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