I'm married and in love....with someone else.

[Craig]

So you become a robot, and stop having feelings. It's unfortunately natural some of the time, especially when you're not looking for it.

Hardly. You acknowledge your feelings, accept them and live up to your commitments.

[travellingman]

Hardly. You acknowledge your feelings, accept them and live up to your commitments.

 

Craig, you married?

[Outcast]

TM, quit assuming that those of us who don't whine our way into affairs don't know what marriage requires.

[newbby]

Thankyou- I am totally aware of what you guys are saying.I'm no idiot and no I dont live in Australia.I'm totally aware that its a stupid thing to do. If I'm mistaking flirting for harmless friendliness then i will let go.Yes i love the person that I'm married to but not in love,hes VERY boring.He takes life very seriously,he has to analize everything.I want someone to have fun with.I want someone who will throw caution to the wind and just have a good time.Even if its a short term fling.So yes no-strings.I have been a devoted mom for 12 years,I have sacrificed alot.I want something that is for me and me alone for once.I already know its morally wrong so i really dont need the lectures.

 

it is true you need something for you and you alone, something exciting.

the thing with affairs is that they are so complicated. in the case where both parties are married there is more of an equal footing in terms of expectations etc, but there is also twice the risk.

if you want to gamble, you have to make sure you can afford to lose. so think about losing your marriage first. there are worse things than boredom, and there isnt only one cure for boredom. just really think about it.

you see in a few years time, you and your h could both be celebrating your freedom, as the kids grow older, you can go travelling together. or if you lose your marriage, you might end up with nobody to travel with at all.

you may end up with more boredom and less resources.

people cant make you happy. only you can do that.

it does seem as though one little harmless fling behind closed doors wouldnt hurt anyone and would satisfy your need for excitement. when does the fling end though? when are you "full". it wouldnt actually happen. you would want more, you couldnt not. how would you feel too, if you have sex with this guy and then he treats you coldly after the act. how would you feel to be just used by him?

these are just things to consider, before you make a decision.

[travellingman]

TM, quit assuming that those of us who don't whine our way into affairs don't know what marriage requires.

 

I didn't need to make any assumptions to figure that you are clueless.

[Craig]

Craig, you married?

I don't see what that has to do with it but, yes, legally I'm still married.

[whichwayisup]

Yeah, that'll fix everything. Where on earth do you get the idea that these things are so simple?

 

One thing I've learned being married is you don't change people. If you can't live with the traits you don't like, someone else is likely to come into your life to compensate.

 

TM? What are you talking about?

 

MY point was and still is, to TRY to capture and bring back the love she (still) has for her husband. I'm betting it's still there, but buried. Life obviously got in the way. Everyday stresses, comfort level, laziness, who knows! There is NO reason NOT to go and try to work on the marriage. I NEVER said it wasn't easy! Ofcourse it's hard to fix things! I'm not stupid ya know.

 

And I also know you can't change people...But you can compromise and accept the person at the same time.

 

Again, I never said it was that simple so please don't put words in my mouth. You put your own spin on that.

[lilmoma1973]

Always easier to preach to others than to make difficult decisions yourself.

 

 

I don't think noone is preaching to her ,we are trying to save her all the heartache of what can happen and alot of people will be involved !! She has a child to think about also!! Does this dentist have kids if so it will affect them as well as his wife? Sometimes when we think of ourselves we don't think how it can reflect on others by the choices we make in life !!

[michellebelle]

Whew.I didnt expect this.Most of you are talking like I have had sex with this guy in the parking lot .NOTHING HAS HAPPENED.

JUST flirting and I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT IS FLIRTING.MABE I'M MISTAKING. I ALREADY KNOW AFAIRS ARE WRONG.I ALREADY KNOW THAT THEY CAN DESTROY YOUR LIFE.Mabe I should have just asked about the flirting part and left out the details.

[Grinning Maniac]

Michelle, either you are not quite grasping what we're saying or you think we're a little "slow". Possible both.

 

WHY would you possibly want to know if the guy was flirting with you, unless you intended to reciprocate if he were? Come on now. Are you saying that if tommorow you found out that he was coming on to you FOR SURE, that you'd just say:

 

"Haha...my-my this sure was flattering and my curiousity is now completely satiated. Ta-ta!"

 

 

It doesn't matter if you had just asked about "the flirting" because any idiot with two brain cells to rub together would know WHY you were asking. Hur-hur.

 

*hits you over the head with cardboard tube*

[newbby]

I want someone to have fun with.I want someone who will throw caution to the wind and just have a good time.Even if its a short term fling.So yes no-strings

 

michelle, this is what you said earlier.

just wondering what advice you are after really.

[Outcast]

I didn't need to make any assumptions to figure that you are clueless.

 

Personal attacks do not improve your case, nor do they make any point other that you are incapable of holding a discussion wherein you are challenged on your assertions because your only response is to launch personal attacks.

[veronese]

I'm presuming the title of your thread was a joke MB - "in love"? With your dentist who has done nothing more than look at you?

 

That aside, your main question is whether he likes you or not, whether you're mistaking flirting for friendliness. Unfortunately it's impossible for anyone here to know the answer, all we can do is have a guess given what we have been told.

 

My dentist is also married, looks at me occassionally, gives me eye contact and is always friendly. He too, has no problem being in my personal space but that's probably because he has to get up close to me to work on my teeth. My teeth are pretty good so I only see him for my six monthly check ups, but I'm sure if I saw him more frequently he'd be just as friendly and pleasant towards me. Dentists are by nature, fairly affable people whose jobs are made easier if their patients are relaxed.

 

Now maybe my dentist has the hots for me, maybe not, but if he was drop dead gorgeous and I was in the mood for a fling, I can easily picture me reading more into any interactions between us.

 

Unless you are prepared to be direct with your dentist and tell him that you're attracted to him and was wondering if he feels the same about you, you'll just have to wait for him to say or do something that gives you your answer.

 

But MB, if the thrill of a casual fling is all you are after, you'd be wise not to choose a married man to have it with. The MM is quite likely after exactly the same thing, but their OW often fall for the excitement of receiving their charm and attention - and before you know the OW develop feelings for their MM and embarks on the painful journey many so eloquently describe on this site. Why, you are already quite confused by this man aren't you?

 

Be careful too, not to mistake a MM as someone with 'no strings' - his wife and any children are bloody great big ropes dragging along behind him, and when wives found out their husbands are involved with an OW, which they usually do, the repercussions can seriously affect not just their marriages, families and their children, but can also affect you. Betrayed wives are a strange breed who can react very uncharacteristically to the discovery of their husbands' affairs. The only thing you can be sure of is that you can't be sure of anything when it comes to BWs. Single men are probably a safer bet for a quick shag.

 

The other thing you need to consider, and this is not a lecture about morality MB, is how your H would behave if you do, one day, have a fling and he somehow finds out. If you think he'll beat you senseless, kill the other guy, divorce you, take your child from you, etc. etc. make sure you accept the risks involved before doing anything. Because sure as eggs he'll find out and you'll pay the price, whatever it may be.

 

Just don't kid yourself MB. If it's worth risking two marriages for then I guess you really must be about to explode if you don't get shagged soon. If not, maybe you should buy yourself a vibrator.

 

Veron

[veronese]

Have a look at a thread started by scarletletter a few weeks ago. All she wanted was a bit of fun too.

 

V