im hurt. help.

[rastafari]

anyways. i got this issue going on that bugs me every day. i have posted some things in the 2 chance forum, but i know how to approch he whole getting back with the ex thing. its going great, with one exception. i suppose its a jeliousy issue, maby trust. i dont really know, it bothers me. so i guess maby this is a better place for it.

 

so this is the deal. me and my girl(of 2 years) were having issues. arguing more then before, lots of school stress, moving away from home for the first time, dependency issues, etc. things were getting sour and i didnt really relize it at the time. when i look back we were slowly falling apart.btw we talked about all these things before we started to see eachother again. anyways, back to the important part.

 

well second semister i have this new roomate that moves in. well he didnt live in my room, but the same apartment. he is a dweeb,rude, doesnt talk to anyone in the apartment, etc. my girl slept with me every night. he started to sleep down in her apartment with her roomates here and there at the time, he was good friends with her roomates.my girl was with me for a month while this was going on. so my girl starts to become good friends with him, going to the grocery store, watching movies.i wasnt much on movies. i didnt mind really at the time, i was so focused on school and trusted her with my life like 200%. never thought for a second that she would ever cheet on me. she didnt. well she dumped me and said she couldnt explain it, but it boiled down to the issues that i explained above. i know it wasnt for my roomate even though i thought it was a possibility at the time, i was very confused. anyway, i had gotten super depressed and had lyme desease for over a year and didnt even know it while going through the breakup. super depressed,visuals,etc. school made me go home on medical leave. they let me come back the last couple weeks of school.my roomate was now sleeping downstaires every night. i never saw him. it freeked me out. i had a bad gut feeling.

 

so me and the ex started talking again this year after 5months of nc and 8 months of being apart. so i asked about my roomate, and what the hell was going on. i asked if they were screwin around because it was basically shoved in my face and i needed clousure. she said they did sleep together, but it was long after we broke up. i know it was about 2 months or so after we broke up.(b4 we broke up i was looking for glu in his drawer and found a box of condoms, when i was suspicious i looked again to find 2 out of 3 missing) and at the time i couldnt tell if he was screwin around with my ex or her roomates, thats why i asked for closure.

 

so im soo mad at her for putting that **** in my face and hurting me soo bad. i feel like im crazy for even considering getting back with her because she was so disrespectful towards me. but i do love her and i know it. i have had a tone of other oppertunities to get with extreemly fine women, but i dont care because she is the only one that matters to me. she seys she didnt relizes she was hurting me. i mentioned that she had feelings for him before we broke up, she rolled her eyes and said "he was honestly just a good friend"...she also said "what i did goes against everything i stand for"...she claimed that she was really hurt as well after the breakup, and it just happened, was grose, and it took her time to get over doing that(him) herself. im having trouble getting over it and at times dont know if i can and think about giving up on the second chance with her. it just hurt me so bad im having trouble putting it behind me. also she is still friends with him. i never was from the start and never would be. it bothers me she still hangs around with him on occosion as well.

 

any help would be great.

[Bryanp]

My friend if you have opportunities to be with fine women then you should seek them out. Look at the facts. I doubt that she was telling you the whole story. You know she has been screwing this disgusting roommate and she still continues to hang out with him? What is that telling you. I think you would be quite foolish to try to be with her again. She humiliates and disrespects you and stills hangs with her other lover? She is giving you a clear message. Find someone else who you can trust and who respects you because she does not respect you and you obviously cannot trust her. I wish you luck.

[rastafari]

i know, but she doesnt really hang out with him all the time. im not trying to make excuses. she seys he has a girlfriend as well. and what they did waas just a fling and she never loved him. sometimes i think that i shouldnt let someone that i dont give a **** about and she dosent even love come between us. she seyes im the only guy she ever loved. but then i think of the disrespect and sometimes feel like a fool because i see her roomates and they knew that she was screwin around with him. its just hard to say goodby orever to someone you love.

[Craig]

How, exactly, is she worthy of your love?

[rastafari]

wow, no one has ever asked me that before...but when you dump someone you try your best not to care for them, you try to put them in the past, so at times i can understand what she did(it was months after). but on the other hand it is still exreemly selfish, which she admitted, to go off and do that. i have been on the edge of telling her to just fu*k of for the past week. its hard, im confused. when im around her we are all over eachother and it feels great, (i have never got those feelings from anyone b4)...but when i go home and contemplate the universe, i just what to tell her to go die somewhere. its truly love/hate. and perhaps someone you hate isnt worthy of love. i was the most hurt i have ever been in my life, which i have told her. and she told me once that i was being selfish for putting that **** back in her face on multiple occasions because it also took her a long time to get over it. she seys "you think your the only one that got hurt by what i did"...... but if i did think the girl was worthy i wouldnt be on this websight cryin about this sh*t every day. i seriously go back and forth on the hour. maby ill just bang some girls over winter break while we are "seeing eachother" to make me feel better. if that doesnt help, perhaps i will forget about her. i wouldnt be cheeting, we arnt dating, haha! being 21 sucks at times. damn 20 year olds worry about everything according to 40 year olds, i do agree. im a groveling little b1tch!

[Craig]

Hate, is a word that is used far too frequently in breakups (and is not the opposite of love.) Indifference, is closer to the opposite of love and does not come with the emotional roller coaster side-effects that hate comes with.