I am falling in love with my best friend

[Amber.]

I recently discovered that I am fast falling for my best friend.We've known each other for a long time,but we were just acquaintances.When he broke up with a long term gf almost a year ago,we got really close.

 

I recently discovered that I've developed feelings,beyond platonic ones,for him.I know he's not ready for a new relationship soon.I don't know what to do.I don't think I should tell him,for it might scare our friendship,something that I treasure very much .But i can't seem to control my feelings towards him

 

some people said that " bestfriend" and " relationship" never couldn't be messed up together.Or other people said that best friends could sometimes turn into bf/gf. I don't know it's true or not

 

What can I do?

[Angel]

I would give it a chance because you never know, maybe he is the one for you. If you don't try, then down the road you might say I wish I gave it a shot.

I recently discovered that I am fast falling for my best friend.We've known each other for a long time,but we were just acquaintances.When he broke up with a long term gf almost a year ago,we got really close. I recently discovered that I've developed feelings,beyond platonic ones,for him.I know he's not ready for a new relationship soon.I don't know what to do.I don't think I should tell him,for it might scare our friendship,something that I treasure very much .But i can't seem to control my feelings towards him some people said that " bestfriend" and " relationship" never couldn't be messed up together.Or other people said that best friends could sometimes turn into bf/gf. I don't know it's true or not What can I do?

[Tony T]

Sometimes these things work out real well, other times things get pretty screwed up. I would think that if he felt similar feelings he would have told you at some point.

 

In any case, if you are around him a lot during his healing period he may very well associate you with the pain and emotional trauma of his break up. You may want to back off a bit and don't listen to all of his heartbreak crap. If you do, you can pretty well kiss a relationship with him goodbye. Direct him to other friends or a counsellor for the bulk of that if he's still in the sulking phase.

 

If you are going to act, you have to do so before he gets interested in another lady.

 

To keep it very safe, when you feel the time is right just tell him that you really care about him a great deal and if he would desire to take the friendship to a higher level at some point you would be open to that. Say no more. Don't tell him about your feelings, etc.

 

Once you have told him you are open to more, then it's up to him. Make sure he's listening when you say that and that he understands fully. If he makes a move and reacts positively, then you've been successful.

 

If he doesn't seem interested, you will have to back away from this friendship or control your feelings. You cannot be a good friend with someone you have feelings for and it's absolutely being cruel to yourself to hang around someone you care about while they talk to you about their dates and girlfriends.

 

I will say the very best romances are with friendships that catch fire. They last the longest. There is nothing better than to be with someone romantically with whom you have shared a good friendship and have gotten to know and love each other without pretense. Let's hope he sees it that way. If he's not smart enough to, you don't need him anyway. Of course, romance requires a bit more electicity than a platonic friendship so the potential for that has to exist for romance to blossom.

 

So if you aren't successful in getting him interested, you may want to consider a vacation from the friendship for a while...during which time you should seek other more receptive romantic interests. As long as you hold a flame and a hope for a romance with your friend, you won't be open to finding love elsewhere.