Cheating on my boyfriend; please respond!

[Elease]

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. I love him very much and he loves me. The only thing is that he has no ambition, he is currently unemployed, and we don't get to go out very much at all anymore. That's were "K" comes in. I have been cheating on my boyfriend with "K" for about 3 months now. Neither knows of one another. I've known "K" for about 3 years from college and have always been attracted to him. He has goals, just graduated from college, and I can hold more "intelligent" conversations with him than I can with my boyfriend. He's only a year younger than my boyfriend, but is a lot more mature, but he isn't as playful and doesn't have as much of a sense of humor as my boyfriend. I guess you could say that my boyfriend is more personable. Basically, "K" is what my boyfriend is not, he has his stuff together. I pretty much just want the best of both worlds, I know it's not right, because if either one found out, they would be very hurt, because my boyfriend loves me and "K" likes me a lot. What do you think I should do? I don't want to leave my boyfriend for "K" and make the biggest mistake of my life, yet I don't want to leave "K" alone to risk not having a chance with someone that could be the "one" for me. What should I do?

 

Thanks for all replies

[Ryan]

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months

now. I love him very much and he loves me. The only thing is that he has no ambition, he is currently unemployed, and we don't get to go out very much at all anymore. That's were "K" comes in. I have been cheating on my boyfriend with "K" for about 3 months now. Neither knows of one another. I've known "K" for about 3 years from college and have always been attracted to him. He has goals, just graduated from college, and I can hold more "intelligent" conversations with him than I can with my boyfriend. He's only a year younger than my boyfriend, but is a lot more mature, but he isn't as playful and doesn't have as much of a sense of humor as my boyfriend. I guess you could say that my boyfriend is more personable. Basically, "K" is what my boyfriend is not, he has his stuff together. I pretty much just want the best of both worlds, I know it's not right, because if either one found out, they would be very hurt, because my boyfriend loves me and "K" likes me a lot. What do you think I should do? I don't want to leave my boyfriend for "K" and make the biggest mistake of my life, yet I don't want to leave "K" alone to risk not having a chance with someone that could be the "one" for me. What should I do?

My first question is....if your boyfriend has all these faults that are considerable to you, why do you love him? Simply because he is there? Apparently you were lacking something from your relationship 6 months into it, and you haven't made any progress in repairing it. I think the sensible thing at that point is to realize that the relationship isn't working the way you want and end it. You aren't happy with your current boyfriend....he's apparently missing much of what you are looking for. So move on. It's not as if you have 10 years of marriage built up. Sometimes you have to cut your losses. As for this other guy "K", does he have the things you are looking for? If so, it might be a good idea to take a little time off from all relationships to reflect on what went right/wrong. Then consider pursuing something with "K." However, if "K" is just the parts missing from your current boyfriend, that's not going to be a complete relationship either. You shouldn't be merely "settling" for anyone. Take some time to seriously consider why you are involved with both of these men and if either one is capable of being EVERYTHING major you look for in a relationship.