Advise needed

[just some guy]

Hello, I could really use some advise.

 

I bowl allot, and one of my leagues is a non-travel fun league. I've bowled on this one for five years(kind of a tradition now), and this year, a girl joined the league and was randomly put on my team. I really want to get to know her, but she's probably the shyest girl I've ever seen. She always seems nervous when enter acting with anyone at the lanes but her family. She jokes and laughs with her parents and little brother, but when she's sitting with my team, she's quiet.

 

When ever she is done bowling a frame, she always sits down next to me, and when I congratulate her on how she did, she mutters shy little thanks, then turns to the score screens and remains quite until she's up to bowl again, or walks up to talk to her parents. Given that, I would normally think she's not interested, but she seems to always sit by me, or when I stand up by the counter where you can put your food to eat, she stands there in between frames, or other times when I look over, I catch her looking over at me, but she quickly turns away.

 

I'm wondering what the best way would be to break the ice without making her feel uncomfortable or anything like that. I'm not really aiming to start a big relationship or anything at this point, but I think it'd be nice to help her relax and enjoy herself more at bowling. She is so shy and quite around everyone, and I think if I can get her to talk with me, she'll start enjoying bowling more, after all, its a fun league. And like I said, I really want to get to know her, she's seems like a fun person, but really really shy.

 

Thanks.

[stjärna]

ask her about her family, that will probably get her to open up a bit.

 

good luck!

[just some guy]

That's a great idea! I've seen her dad in uniform once and he's in the same squadron as my step-dad, so that could be a start.

 

From what I've said, do you think she's always shy like that, or is it's a combination of the facts that she's completely new to the place(I think she just moved here) and it's her first time in a bowling league?

 

Thanks.

[loony]

I usually open up to people who are friendly, non judgmental and who smile a lot at me. That should be a sure way to make her like you.

[just some guy]

Do you think after she's open with me she'll be more comfortable around everyone else? I think she'd have allot more fun at the lanes if she wasn't always so quite.

[loony]

Do you think after she's open with me she'll be more comfortable around everyone else? I think she'd have allot more fun at the lanes if she wasn't always so quite.

Be a good example for her. The interest to change must come from the people and the best way is to lead as an example. If you get to know her better, you might talk about her shyness and explain how you see it and how you feel around people so she will see that there is nothing to fear. Just take it slow.

[just some guy]

Great advise. Thanks very much for it.

 

Just hope it goes as well as I hope next time I see her.

[Misery]

I bowl in a lot of leageus too. I had a similar situation once. Try asking her if she knows how to keep score, then you can get a pen and paper and teach her how to keep score in her head. Or something similar to that. gl :/

[just some guy]

Try asking her if she knows how to keep score, then you can get a pen and paper and teach her how to keep score in her head.

That's a very good idea. Just gota remember to bring some paper next time (one more thing to try and stuff in my bowling bag)

 

She seems eager to learn more about the game, but since this league is just a fun league, the coaches aren't much help, and there's only one per 20 people. She's pretty good though, her first year and her average is already 135ish.

 

Little off topic, but what ball you using now? I'm in the market for a new one, but can't make up my mind. I've been using a freak-out by track for the last year but am leaning towards something storm made this time.

 

Back on topic, one more question. Since I only get to see her once a week, what should I do to talk to her more often. I'm pretty sure asking her to hangout outside of bowling would be too much this early, considering how shy she is. I know talking online is impersonal, but I think it would be best for the first week.

 

Thanks again for all the help.

[Misery]

I throw two urethane balls, a string ray, and a scout red pearl, both Columbia balls. One particle ball from Hammer, a diesel, and a plastic whitedot Columbia ball for spares. I'm a fairly straight up bowler (stroke) so I don't need a lot of the heavy reactive balls. I avg between 205-213 in my 3 leagues.

 

Like I said, I was in the same situation one time. She got up to bowl and left a fairly tough spare, and I was sitting at the chair right next to the approach. So after her first shot she walked back and quietly just asked me how she should shoot the spare. Anyways long story short after she sat back down I asked her if she wanted to go bowling some time, and I could teach/show her how to bowl, and that lead to more dates after that. So try asking her to go bowling sometime to practice.

 

If she doesn't ask you for help, just try and see if she ever has a clueless look on her face, like she doesn't know how to make the spare, and help her out. Will set you right up for asking her to go bowling with you.

 

gl :/

[GivenUp0083]

He sitting next to you and such is something called a "buying signal" according to the system that I follow and has changed my whole dating life and success.

 

She's trying to get you to notice her. She is shy, but that is probably because she's the only girl on a team of guys and probably doesn't know anyone. This is the perfect opportunity to meet her. Just joke around with her a little bit. Make fun of other bowlers, whisper funny things to her. If you get her to loosen up and laugh a little, I'm sure she'll feel more comfortable around you. Then if you get even the smallest little giggle out of her, ask her for her number. Then when you call her, don't chat on the phone like a sally, say hi, make a little joke with her again, ask her out on an easy going date where you will have fun but at the same time be able to talk. On the date, don't reveal too much about yourself, just try to get her to talk about herself, the more she shares with you the better for 2 reasons: 1. She will feel more comfortable and like you more because people love to talk about themselves and 2. This will help you get a much better understanding of who she is and what kind of girl she is.

 

Just keep it light and fun, smile, and just play it cool.

[just some guy]

Alright, this stuff is great. Unfortunately, I sliced open my thumb on my bowling arm today, something to do with a table and a falling glass, but I'm sure it's guna hurt like crazy to bowl with. Think tape works over stitches? I was told that it would be okay to bowl with, but it might affect my game Anyways...

He sitting next to you and such is something called a "buying signal" according to the system that I follow and has changed my whole dating life and success.

Even thought when she sits down and I complement her on her shot, she only says a little thanks, then looks at the scoring screen quietly till she's up again? To me, that gives me the signal "don't talk to me", or something similar. Could this just be from shyness?

 

I throw two urethane balls, a string ray, and a scout red pearl, both Columbia balls. One particle ball from Hammer, a diesel, and a plastic whitedot Columbia ball for spares. I'm a fairly straight up bowler (stroke) so I don't need a lot of the heavy reactive balls. I avg between 205-213 in my 3 leagues.

At my local house here, you either have a heavy reactive ball, or it goes straight as an arrow. They get carried away with the oil, then on travel, my normal throw plus a 20 board stand/throw difference goes over the headpin But I think I'm going with tracks newest Rule.

[Misery]

Well if she's looking at the scoreboard the whole time thats a good chance for you to ask her if she actually knows how to keep score...

 

And what I used to do when I liked a girl I bowled with was hand her, her ball when we we're done. Say you're the anchor and she bowls first and is waiting for her ball when you finish bowling, carry it over for her to put in her bag, then ask her out bowling or to eat.. anything..

 

And btw I hate when the lanes are tight and flooded. I don't throw to many revs so when they are flooded I can't get high flush in the pocket :/ lotta 10 pins and cant get the good mix ugh hate that

[Becoming]

Good idea about Dad and squadron. Pay attention to her little brother.

[just some guy]

Say you're the anchor and she bowls first and is waiting for her ball when you finish bowling, carry it over for her to put in her bag, then ask her out bowling or to eat.. anything..

You must be psychic that's our lineup. But she normally has it in her bag by the time the second bowler is done and I'm busy recording scores, series, wins etc. and figuring out what I have to do to lose it for the team , or something like that.

 

That's for the really good advise, I'm picturing this going well, but then again, I always picture my picture my 800, and that's obviously not for a while . Just hope I can learn to bowl with these stitches before Saturday..

 

And btw I hate when the lanes are tight and flooded. I don't throw to many revs so when they are flooded I can't get high flush in the pocket :/ lotta 10 pins and cant get the good mix ugh hate that

For some odd reason, that always happens to me on placement rounds It gets so bad here sometimes that you have to use the outside track the whole way for any reaction, and if theres one major downfall in my bowling, it's defenatly adjusting to lane environment

[just some guy]

Good idea about Dad and squadron. Pay attention to her little brother.

I was hoping that wouldn't sound stalkeryish(if that's even close to a word).

 

What you mean about paying attention to her brother?

[Becoming]

I take it he's there with the family? Get to know him. Don't know how old he is. If young, encouragement is always good ("Way to go! etc.). Advise that you can give after you ask him if he wants it. Whatever's age appropriate.

 

Stalkeryish (great word--if it's not one, it should be!) would be if you follow her home, call her at all hours, take pictures of her, and build a shrine in your room. You're just trying to be friendly at this point so the next step to something more is natural and easy.

[just some guy]

I was refering the stalkeryish part to the fact that I know her dad is in the same squadron as mine. Think that would go over well if I brought that up?

 

Her brother is pretty young, and since he is, he's on the pee-wee league that bowls on the other side of the house, the only time I see him is when he runs over to tell her about his game or if he strikes.

 

Maybe, since she's not very cmfertable around any one but her family at the moment, I could offer to bowl with her and her brother and give them a few pointers right after league ends. That way, she'll have her little brother with her, she wouldn't be as shy, plus there's more of a chance she'll say yes.