Open mind

[Anya]

In spite of Justdoit's post, Actually I do think it's ok for the guy to sleep around if his gf genuinely thinks it's ok.Likewise vice versa.It's their relationship,who's there to dictate that the girl is swallowing her pride by doing this or that?In some cultures that the women are supposed to be the property of men once they're married to him.If the wife is genuinely happy with that,what right do you or I have to make them change?Look, you're obviously on the conservative side of things,and I've no problem with that.Frankly,i would say i'm too since i don't really like the idea of my bf visting prostitues too.But you should open mind enough to accept that people who're more liberal or even radical are not necessarily bad or wrong.

 

Any comments?

[Tony T]

People don't post here looking for an open mind. They post looking for advice if they've got any sense. Some people will give it one way from one perspective, some will give it another way. If you're asking me to change my outlook because you don't like it, I don't think you're having a very open mind yourself.

 

I am extremely open minded. I told this gentleman it was quite OK for him to screw prostitutes if he advised all concerned. And, absolutely...positively, if his girlfriend accepts this idea and goes along with it, hell...he can go screw a giraffe. But his girlfriend needs to know the dangers this poses to her life should he pass along to her some acquired STD.

 

You say you don't like the idea of your own boyfriend visiting prositutes but you want ME to be more liberal and tell this guy it's OK. Well, go look up the word hypocrisy and honesty in the dictionary. You want me to tell this guy it is my opinion that he's just fine doing all this when it is not my opinion. That's dishonesty.

 

And you want me to tell this guy it's just fine to see prostitutes but you wouldn't want your guy to do so. That's hypocrisy.

 

Again, I only give my opinion here. I am NOT the only person who gives advice. Many people may read my post and elect not to answer further if they agree with what I said. I promise you, if others thought I was way off the mark, they would have no reservations saying so.

 

If you think he ought to screw prostitutes, go down to his post and tell him so. Lend him some support. That's what he came here for. Maybe I'm conservative or maybe I'm liberal, but I think this guy is nuts. For your information, I'm also against cheating in general...I guess that makes me pretty conservative too.

 

So go post your views to him!!!

[anya]

Ok,people here do look for advice from others.but i guess that precludes insults ,and i do see a difference between the 2.It's one thing to give constructive criticsm to someone,quite another to simply look down and yell at someone's face. And ai guess you did a lot of the latter.I guess my definition of being close-minded is seeing someone as inferior simply cuz they've different opinions than you and correct me if i'm wrong,but you definitely gave me that impression

 

I'm well aware of the definition of hypocrisy and honesty. Thank you very much.Yes,i wouldn't want my bf to visit prostitute,and i don't you to tell this guy it's ok.You should tell him your honest views,so what you did is right.But you shouldn't attract and look down on "justdoit". I don't see any dishonesty and hypocrisy here

 

I guess my point is you should go easy on those whose views are different.Critize them as you see fit,but don't attact them personal.Keep the battle at "ideas" level

 

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People don't post here looking for an open mind. They post looking for advice if they've got any sense. Some people will give it one way from one perspective, some will give it another way. If you're asking me to change my outlook because you don't like it, I don't think you're having a very open mind yourself. I am extremely open minded. I told this gentleman it was quite OK for him to screw prostitutes if he advised all concerned. And, absolutely...positively, if his girlfriend accepts this idea and goes along with it, hell...he can go screw a giraffe. But his girlfriend needs to know the dangers this poses to her life should he pass along to her some acquired STD. You say you don't like the idea of your own boyfriend visiting prositutes but you want ME to be more liberal and tell this guy it's OK. Well, go look up the word hypocrisy and honesty in the dictionary. You want me to tell this guy it is my opinion that he's just fine doing all this when it is not my opinion. That's dishonesty.

 

And you want me to tell this guy it's just fine to see prostitutes but you wouldn't want your guy to do so. That's hypocrisy. Again, I only give my opinion here. I am NOT the only person who gives advice. Many people may read my post and elect not to answer further if they agree with what I said. I promise you, if others thought I was way off the mark, they would have no reservations saying so. If you think he ought to screw prostitutes, go down to his post and tell him so. Lend him some support. That's what he came here for. Maybe I'm conservative or maybe I'm liberal, but I think this guy is nuts. For your information, I'm also against cheating in general...I guess that makes me pretty conservative too. So go post your views to him!!!

[Tony T]

1. "It's one thing to give constructive criticsm to someone,quite another to simply look down and yell at someone's face."

 

You are correct. But all the people who answered this gentleman's posts sort of did that. They did so, in my opinion, because he was consistently wanting support for his position and they weren't going to give that. Also, the majority of people who visit this forum are very much against cheating and even more so when it's done with prostitutes.

 

I do not construe anything I wrote as looking down on him and I never write that way with that intention. I do use strong language at times because this is a written forum and I cannot be there so the receiver hears the tone of my voice and the passion with which I am speaking. That must be done with type.

 

As far as yelling in someone's face, if you felt I was doing that this would be an issue that you must work on for yourself. We all take things the way we elect to. This man was absolutely fine with what we wrote and thanked all of us more than once...and even asked for more advice and clarificant. You can't get a better endorcement than that.

 

I think the only way to get to some people is by being passionate, straightforward, and answering the way we did. We must have done something right because as strong as we were the poster wrote thanks and compliments for our answers. You are the only one who complained and the posts were not directed at you. We did our job well for the man who put up the post.

 

2. "I guess my point is you should go easy on those whose views are different."

 

I almost never challenge the views of other people who post advice. Actually, I seldom read the advice others give until I put up my own so what I say will not be affected by what others write. On the very rare occasion that I may do comment on the advice others have given, I will give ample justification for doing so and then it is up to the readers to make decisions for themselves as to who may be more correct in the matter.

 

In this particular post, the gentleman ASKED for our advice, our point of view, and he DID NOT ASK that we go easy on him. He is about to embark on something so serious it could cost the life of his girlfriend. In later posts, he says he has advised his girlfriend and he was grateful to us for that advice.

 

I still think he's kind of cracked in the head and his behavior is odd and I'm entitled to my opinion just as much as you're entitled to the opinion that I should go easy on those whose views are different.

 

Isn't it a great world?