Guy and Commitment Phobia

[Xoxogirl]

I feel lost... I have been single and dating for about a year now and can't seem to find any good guys who are interested in having a committed relationship. I have tried blind dates, online dating sites, and what seems like everything in between. I have never actually asked I guy out on a date though, I guess I am too shy for that. I usually wait for them to ask me. The only guys I come across who seem to want relationships aren't men I would even consider getting involved with (not because I am picky--they just don't have much to offer). Am I doing something wrong? I am an attractive, fit, intelligent, and caring 25 year old woman and I am simply looking for a nice simple (meaning I don't need a fairytale) romantic relationship. Is this too much to ask in this day and age? Most men I meet seem to only be after sex, which isn't something I am willing to give away casually. Does anyone have any suggestions on how a shy woman can meet serious men?

[sparticuss]

Ok OXO

I'll talk about only two things.

 

Firstly pain.

 

The pain of divorce among the guys is so bad that one in thirteen divorced men suicides within the first year of seperation. Suicide from post divorce trauma is the biggest killer of men under age 45.

 

And of course, you don't have to endure the pain if you don't commit in the first place.

 

Even among ex boyfriends suicide rates are still shocking.

 

Are you still with me oxo? This may all be too new to you.

 

So this leads me to your point about not asking them out and expecting them to ask you.

 

The last time they asked a girl out she didn't bring them happiness. She bought them pain. (Now I know that this does not apply to about 50% of the relationships but these guys arent single. If the girl bought them happiness then they are still with her.

 

Now would you ask somebody out if the last time bought you nothing but pain.

 

So oxo! To find a nice guy forget about "where". They are all around you. But you have to ask them. And you have to demonstrate that you are aware of thier pain. And also demonstrate that life with you is happiness not pain.

 

Demonstrate as in what you do. Not what you say.

 

Keep in touch oxo. This lot may well be too much too soon too new. But its all true.