caring guy Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 How do i deal with jealousy? We were having problems in June & she was seeing someone behind my back, as she thought i was being complacent & taking the relationship for granted! He wouldn't comit as he was younger & she has 2 kids. Just thinking of her with another made me panic & feel sick! We got back together & i started having panic attacks & anxiety & she didn't want it in her life, as i was moody, depressed & often not there for her due to my overwhelming anxiety. She decided she didn't want to be with me & now i'm alone, but i have these jealous thoughts of her with another & in the bed we shared. We only split because of my anxiety & she was too busy with Uni, kids etc & i stilll love her. i think about her a lot, we had issues a lot whilst together, i was jealous of her at Uni, maybe an insecurity of mine, but that i handled as we got engaged & commited. We always used to say we'd never split as we talk things over, probs etc, but when i get ill, she leaves me & we were supposed to be engaged. All the times i wasn't there for her were because i was ill, not purposefully. I never cheated or was violent etc! I miss her & can't imagine never hearing or seeing her again! Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 Jealousy will eat you alive, from the inside out, and turn you into a hollow shell of a man. So refuse it. Just don't take delivery. Simple? Yes. Easy? No, of course not. I'd be interested in your response to this question: What is it about yourself that you would commit to a woman who has already proven herself to be unworthy of a commited relationship to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author caring guy Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 Hi Slubber When we were together she said that her love for me wasn't in doubt, it was me being distant & unused to the situation of kids etc that at the time made me feel anxious & therefore not showing of affection. Stability & commitment is what she wanted, but when i got ill, i needed to be in my comfort zone & if you know anxiety & panic attacks, it makes you run & i did & according to her proved that i didn't care, i did, but she couldn't be with someone who was ill. After, i realised that maybe by staying there & facing my issues, it would have helped me! Although she wasn't sympathetic towards my illness, i was always scared of her coming in & finding a fault in me which she regularly did, picked at me a lot & she always said that she did it because i was getting used to how she liked things done at her house! i wasn't a doormat, i just was fragile. It would cause conflict & it spilled over. Maybe i'm not well enough to be with someone as hard as her, i dunno. CG Link to post Share on other sites
purtyinpink_11 Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 I feel your pain but I think as she moved on, so should you. Your health is much more important than someone who doesn't want to be with you. It's going to be a lot of hard work to get your relationship in order if you guys decide to get back together. It's going to take trusting her again and you not getting sick over it. I've been there and it's not pleasant. Sometimes it's just better starting fresh. Take some time off for yourself before jumping into another relationship, until you are sure you are over her!!! GL Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts