New Friend

[Artlover]

Hi everyone:

 

Once again it's been awhile... I went to visit friends (two very close ones) in another state back in early May and was introduced to a friend of their's. He took me around town and showed me the sights. We hit it off right away. Mentally and physically. And I felt pretty comfortable with him. We had physical contact, but no sex and decided to stay in touch. Well, we have. We talk once a week on the phone and e-mail intermittently.

 

We're both busy people and so we give each other space (though there's distance between us). Anyway, I'm planning on moving to his state at the end of the year. This is a coincidence. I've been planning this move for ages. And he's coming to my state to visit in mid August and then again late September.

 

So what's the problem? Well, by the time we'll see each other again, it will have been 3 months. We've formed a friendhip bond and there are clear romantic/sexual overtones, but I haven't actually SEEN this guy in months. Part of me fears that it might feel awkward at first. He's only coming or a couple of days, so we won't have a lot of time to break the ice again. Any suggestions? Also, I think I'm a bit afraid I won't be attracted to him when I see him again. This has happened to me in the past. I actually doubt this, but I'm just feeling uneasy.

[Tony T]

Relax. You are under no obligation here one way or the other. If he shows up and there's no attraction or he turns you off in other ways, forget about him.

 

As far as breaking the ice again, just treat him like any other person you have known for this length of time. Don't have any expectations of him and don't allow him to have any expectations of you...at least none that you will give in to.

 

You are pretty lucky in this situation. You'll have several opportunities to see him and think more about whether or not you want to explore a relationship long term.

 

Stop worrying. Don't make this a major issue. Meanwhile, see other people. You have made no committment to him.

 

Go find something important to worry about.

[Artlover]

As usual, excellent advice.

Relax. You are under no obligation here one way or the other. If he shows up and there's no attraction or he turns you off in other ways, forget about him. As far as breaking the ice again, just treat him like any other person you have known for this length of time. Don't have any expectations of him and don't allow him to have any expectations of you...at least none that you will give in to.

 

You are pretty lucky in this situation. You'll have several opportunities to see him and think more about whether or not you want to explore a relationship long term. Stop worrying. Don't make this a major issue. Meanwhile, see other people. You have made no committment to him. Go find something important to worry about.