beerad Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 My girlfriend and I are high school sweethearts, and we have been together for the last year and half.Also, we have an awesome relationship. Unfortunately, we were a little reckless, and she wound up pregnant. We both are, extremely, excited about the almost new arrive of our baby boy, Mason. Her due date is Jan. 14, 2006. With her being so close to her due date, it's been hard for her to have sex. Consequently, we haven't had a real sex life since August. My question is, is it wrong of me to resort to porn until the arrival of the baby? Before she was pregnant, I would resort to porn occasionally, due to the fact, we could have been a busy week or something. I can go about a month before I'm overwhelmed with temptation( to look at porn, not cheating on her), of course if I haven't had sex in a long time. In addition, before I had a sex life, I would resort to porn when I was bored. She has never caught me though (I cover my tacks), but when asked, I break down because I don't want to start a lying relationship and ruin all trust. If there is anyone out there do you have any advice? -first is there an addiction on my part? -second if not is there a way to talk with my girlfriend about this -third She feels, I'm sure like many woman, that I like these girls instead of her. I dont even remember any of the models i see on the Internet, unless of course, I try but that would be stupid. One more thing, She is my first girlfriend, and We are both still 18 and me 19. -Sincerely, Lost- Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 Why hasn't she had sex with you since August ? Has it been dr's orders's ... I personally applaud you for being so open and honest with her !! Most guys would lie and be deceptive and she is one lucky girl!! Women can feel insecure when pregnant and with you looking at these women while she has gained weight will make her self esteem go down.. Even if we aren't pregnant it will mess with us and make us think we aren't good enough!! Compliment her all the time make her feel that she is all you need because times like this hormones are raging and she is feeling all kinds of thoughts and feelings!!!! Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author beerad Posted December 13, 2005 Author Share Posted December 13, 2005 Why havn't we had a sexual relationship? She told me, "that it is very uncomfortable and it hurts", but maybe insecurity? By the way, thank you for the complement. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 Why havn't we had a sexual relationship? She told me, "that it is very uncomfortable and it hurts", but maybe insecurity? By the way, thank you for the complement. There are different postions that you can use for pregnant women like the spooning technique it doesn't put pressure on you and i know the futher along you get it can be alot of pressure with baby dropping and preparing for delivery!! Your welcome on the compliment!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author beerad Posted December 13, 2005 Author Share Posted December 13, 2005 So, when and if the question comes up again, cause i know it will, what should my reply be? I can sometime be miss understood for being over reactive, but I dont notice it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author beerad Posted December 13, 2005 Author Share Posted December 13, 2005 Any suggestions? I Dont want to lie but I also dont want to tell her.. Link to post Share on other sites
mlchris2 Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Beerad, Let me give you a bit of advice for a recovering PA (porn addict), hopefully something will help. My story (short version).... Married my HS sweetheart. Dated for 5 years and married right after graduation. We moved across the US, so I could go to school, she supported me the entire time. We were expecting our first son and I ended up using porn as a "release" becuase my sexual needs were not being meet. I tried to communicate this to my wife, but failed to do so. I kept the porn-viewing a secret. I cant say what happened for sure, but our sexual relationship after our son went right down the **** hole. I still used porn as a release and kept it from my wife. One day she caught what I was doing and we talked. She said stop or else.... I tried my best, but wasnt strong enought. For 4 years I became addicted to porn... It ruined my life and my marriage. My wife and I are in the middle of a divorce. I am not taking it very well. I havent been myself for 4 months. After our seperation, I went to counseling and have been a recovering PA for a whole 30 days. I urged my wife to go see somene to talk about the problems... but she refuses... I've hurt her to bad. Here is the knowledge I want to pass on to you.... #1. Be honest with your wife/GF. The minute you stop you risk everything. #2. Openly communicate. #3. Your views on porn might be different than someone elses, in regards to religious believes. I learned through counceling that one of the major things that keep a relationship alive is a sexual relationship that fits both partners. If you both like porn, then great. But if your spouse or GF doesnt agree on porn, then stop and figure out something that you both like..... #4. Show your wife/GF that you love her everyday, just dont say it. Dont assume she knows. Its the simple things that matter. I learned from my wife that I didnt have to buy expensive gifts to show her I loved her (like I thought I had to) If I would have cleaned the house or cooked dinner one night, etc that would have been 10 times better than anything I could have bought her. If I can keep 1 man from making the same mistakes I did, then I did something good. Hope this helped you. Mark C. Link to post Share on other sites
Dmeech Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 That is wierd she left you because of porn. There is nothing wrong with looking at the menu if your not going to order anything......... I guess some women are sensitive to that. I know friends who's girlfriends watch porn with them...... and they are not freaks or anything but normal couples. Link to post Share on other sites
mlchris2 Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Maybe some other wife would have helped me with my problem and stayed. I dont blame her for doing what she did (now, but at first I was pissed). I had to change my ways a little bit, in hopes that my wife will see a change in me and the deep love I have for her, and have me back. My story has some twists to it, but thats for a different forum. True... I though the same thing... "It's not like I'm cheating", just looking. After my counseling, I see things more as my wife does and I realize just how close to cheating it can be. (at least to her and thats where it becomes a problem). SOme people and relationships are different and the biggest thing that keeps a good relationship going (whether its love or something else) is communication and compromise, my wife and I failed to do both. Thats my point... if your spouse or SO is into porn and you both agree on it, then great. The problem lies when one person is hiding it from the other. Women have different mindsets and think differently than man do, they are just that way. They are more emotional than physical. MC Link to post Share on other sites
Author beerad Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 Hey thanks a lot man, I'll seriouly reconsider looking at porn. I also just formated my hard-drive and redid windows, so now I can start clean. Like I said before, she hasn't caught be, but when asked i crack. I already got the ultimatum. So, should I discontinue and when it comes up again imply that its been a long time or come straight out? Link to post Share on other sites
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