Alternate methods of b control

[Anna]

My boyfriend wants me to go to a gynachologist because he is afraid of getting me pregnant and he can't use condoms because he looses his erection.

 

I told him that I didn't ever want to use the pill again because I don't want to go against "nature" anymore and I just wanted to let destiny take it's natural course meaning that if it is meant to be for me to have a child then it will happen. This is a very touchy issue with me because I have developed this belief that if a man really loves me and has sex with me then he should also be open to the possibility of fathering my child. If not, then he isn't worth the trouble. My boyfriend already has older children but says he will consider doing it for us if I really want it, but he doesn't quite feel ready yet and he also tells me that once you have a baby you become a slave to them for the rest of your life.

 

I used to take the pill for years, but stopped four years ago because I secretly told myself that it wasn't fair to continue to deny myself the possiblity of getting pregant anymore as I was approaching 30 and that if I ever had sex again it would be with the man who would father my child. This decision came after a very painful break-up with a man.

 

I have more sexual satisfaction when we have sex and I am not taking anything to prevent pregancy and I am afraid that psychologically something will be affected if I start protecting myself. He always pulls out before orgasm, but he still worries that he could make me pregant and when I told him about pre-cum he wondered if you could get pregant like that. Can you?

 

What other alternatives do I have to protect myself without going on the pill again?

 

In the beginning I fantasized about lying to him saying I was taking the pill again and not really taking it, but I realized that it could cost me more harm by lying if I ever did become pregant and he didn't want it, so I agreed to make a difficult compromise for his sake.

 

Do you think it is really necessary to see a gynachologist for this?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Do you think it is really necessary to see a gynachologist for this?"

 

Until BOTH of you want to have a child, it is insane to have sex and take chances of an unwanted pregnancy.

 

It is highly irresponsible to have sex and risk getting pregnant until BOTH OF YOU are in a position to handle that situation from a social, psychological, financial or other perspective.

 

Having a baby is not a casual thing. It needs to be planned by two loving parents who are totally prepared to take on that responsiblity.

 

See a doctor and do what you can do to keep from getting pregnant until both of you mutually decide that the time is ready for a child.

 

Have you told your guy exactly how you feel about this? Now, if he goes along with it then that's his problem...and the baby's.

 

Yes, you can get pregant even if your guy does not enjaculate inside of you. Seminal fluid containing live, active, ambitious sperm can leak through during various stages of intercourse. Sperm fight like hell to work their way to the egg. You may even be pregnant now.

 

Please change your strategy and change the way you're looking at this. In my opinion, it is not very responsible or practical. Get together with your guy and with the doctor and work something out that is mutually satisfactory to both of you...for you own sake.

[little d]

I think the only thing you should consider is a sperm bank if you want to get pregnant that bad. Why try to justify lies and deception. Why would you want a man to be the father of your baby that only see's himself as a slave to his children. Destiny?? What does destiny have to do with anything you don't use protection you get pregnant hence the word birth control. Maybe try a gynachologist and a psycologist then find a guy that wants children and wants to share that with you in the special meaninful way it should be.

 

Lots of luck

 

My boyfriend wants me to go to a gynachologist because he is afraid of getting me pregnant and he can't use condoms because he looses his erection.

 

I told him that I didn't ever want to use the pill again because I don't want to go against "nature" anymore and I just wanted to let destiny take it's natural course meaning that if it is meant to be for me to have a child then it will happen. This is a very touchy issue with me because I have developed this belief that if a man really loves me and has sex with me then he should also be open to the possibility of fathering my child. If not, then he isn't worth the trouble. My boyfriend already has older children but says he will consider doing it for us if I really want it, but he doesn't quite feel ready yet and he also tells me that once you have a baby you become a slave to them for the rest of your life. I used to take the pill for years, but stopped four years ago because I secretly told myself that it wasn't fair to continue to deny myself the possiblity of getting pregant anymore as I was approaching 30 and that if I ever had sex again it would be with the man who would father my child. This decision came after a very painful break-up with a man. I have more sexual satisfaction when we have sex and I am not taking anything to prevent pregancy and I am afraid that psychologically something will be affected if I start protecting myself. He always pulls out before orgasm, but he still worries that he could make me pregant and when I told him about pre-cum he wondered if you could get pregant like that. Can you? What other alternatives do I have to protect myself without going on the pill again? In the beginning I fantasized about lying to him saying I was taking the pill again and not really taking it, but I realized that it could cost me more harm by lying if I ever did become pregant and he didn't want it, so I agreed to make a difficult compromise for his sake. Do you think it is really necessary to see a gynachologist for this?

[anthony]

I've been doing some research on the "mythical" birth control pill for men and it's not a myth. I requested info from Kaiser on the Male pill and there is a drug called Nifediine. The drug is a treatment for high blood pressure, but has show to make the male sperm sterile. Sold under the brand names Procardia and Adalat, it's one of a class of drugs called calcium-channel blockers, which are among the most widely prescribed drugs for the treatment of heart disease and hypertension. The drugs act by stopping the movement of calcium through cell membranes, which is important in sperm function. The calcium blockers induce sperm to produce more cholesterol. That in turn, hardens their membranes so that when they encounter an egg, they're unable to fuse with it.

 

This drug although used to treat high blood pressure is the latest in a reversible birth control for men.

 

You can call the kaiser Reference Center- Academic and request the full article taken from the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

[Tony T]

It's possible that the medication has that effect in many cases, but it really depends on how each person's body metabolizes it.

 

You are putting yourself in serious peril if you put stuff like this out for unwitting persons to believe as truth without all the warnings, side effects, and exceptions.

 

Fact is, calcium channel blockers have many side effects including bradycardia...a very slow pulse rate... depression...and even death in a few cases. Since these medications reduce blood pressure and heart rate and since an erection is highly dependent on heightened rates of both, they can cause some men to be unable to achieve an erection...or a lasting one.

 

They are not designed, meant as, or prescribed for birth control purposes by any licensed medical doctor (who wants to keep his license).

 

This drug has not been approved for male birth control. While many men who are taking it with satisfaction may have attained temporary or permanent sterility, their doctors did not give them this medication for this purpose.

 

I am impressed with your excitement over your research but I urge you to go back into your lab, review your work, and rewrite your findings in a more comprehensive and medically accepted fashion.

[Laurynn]

You're nearly 30 years old (or are), and you didn't know that pre-cum can get you pregnant?

 

You had contemplated LYING to your boyfriend, telling him you WERE on the pill, when actually you weren't?

 

Sounds to me, lady, like you're simply looking for a sperm donor, so you can get knocked up and have a kid...regardless of the man's wants/beliefs. Selfishness is not a good quality to have when bringing a child into the world.

 

The guy has already been very clear that he doesn't want a child at this time, do you want him to draw a picture? A child should ideally be brought into this world by TWO parents who BOTH want the child....not some conniving woman who's going to basically trick/trap the man.

 

I feel very sorry for your boyfriend. You are dishonest and deceitful, and you care only about what YOU want. Women who act like this make me sick.

 

L

[Laurynn]

Correct me if I'm wrong, "Anna", but aren't you the gal who's in her 30's, whose dating the old fart who's in his 60's? And you met "on the phone" and spent ONE WEEK together in person...and all you both do is bicker, fight, argue, have temper tantrums and power struggles? And you're even CONSIDERING bringing a child into this world with this guy? You post her and have not one positive thing to say about the guy, but you've considered LYING and telling him you're on the Pill just because you want to get pregnant? You are one screwed up chick.

 

L